eloquence | sirius black ✓

CHAPTER EIGHT

FRAGMENTS OF THE SOUL

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THERE WAS ALWAYS THAT MOMENT that made you stop moving. The moment when you could not do anything. The moment when you stood still as you claw on the iron cage that was your life. You were trapped deep inside, unable to move. You watched. You listened. But you were unable to move or speak. You're locked inside an invisible cage, and you cannot escape from it, no matter what you do. You just sit there in the deep void of darkness, hoping that you would be free someday, but that day never came. Not even a glimmer of hope for it.
There were fragments of the heart scattered all around. And you have to grab them. Grab them back and take control of your soul. Control of who you are. Control of your actions and emotions. But it seemed impossible to do so. Impossible to grab back the fragments and take back control. Because someone kept grabbing back the fragments and scattering them somewhere else that you can't reach. You can't reach them. You sat there, still as you watched and listened.
The puppeteer behind it was grinning like a Cheshire Cat, pulling on your string and taking control of you. You could only watch as the world revolves around the Sun. You were trapped in the iron cage of your heart, unable to do anything but watch. And not able to do anything inflicted pain on you, killing you apart from the inside. Limb by limb.
That was what Remus John Lupin felt. He couldn't do anything when he was a beast.
The monster in him was clawing at the iron cage of his heart, trying to wriggle free. Scratching, clawing, killing him from the inside. And nothing could change that. There was no cure for his condition. Condition. That was what he called it. His condition that only some people knew of. Diana and Lily knew that. He trusted them, after all. They were his close friends, and he was thankful of them to be in his life, if he had to be honest with himself. He really loved them.
"Ivory Greengrass." Remus said shortly to the blonde-haired girl in front of him.
"Remus John Lupin," said Ivory shortly, a sly smile placed upon her lips. Her emerald eyes were shining in the bright daylight. "The only sane Marauder. Mastermind behind the pranks." she said coyly. He couldn't read what was behind that expression at all.
"I have to go." said Remus sternly as he passed Ivory. She was one of Diana's friends. A questionable friend. He questioned whether she was really Diana's friend sometimes, but he trusted Diana's opinions and he wouldn't question it at all. Quickly, he brushed the thought off his mind and he looked her in the eyes, a warm chocolate colour meeting a bright -- emerald green colour. Emerald green like Slytherin. One of the colours of Slytherin. His was the one alike hot chocolate in winter, and hers was alike emeralds shining in a cave brightly, the sun reflecting on it.
She was different. She had the look in her eyes that told you that she had endured pain in the past. Pain that she hid well with a sly smile and words that came out of her silver tongue. There was that slight mournful look she wore under the smile that acted as a mask. The look that indicated that her life had not been as well as people thought it was. A familiar look for Remus.
It was the look he saw when he looked at a mirror.
He saw a broken boy with marks in his face. Hidden away by a smile, acting as a mask. He was broken. Marked. Tainted.
Ivory Greengrass mirrored him in a strange way. A strange way that he didn't know. He mirrored her and she mirrored him. They were two mirrors staring right at each other. Two familiar pairs. Strangers. He barely knew her, but somehow she reminded him of himself; a broken soul that turned into a monster every full moon, locked away in a wooden house where no one knew that it was him; they assumed that it was just a ghost, when it wasn't a ghost at all. It was Remus. A werewolf. A monster. He didn't want to be a monster. It was all Fenrir Greyback's fault.
She was a familiar stranger, thought Remus as he scribbled furiously on his piece of paper, revising what Professor Slughorn had explained to them in Potions. He took notes of them. And now it was time to fix them into tidy notes. It felt familiar and strange at the same time, thought Remus silently.
He did notice the little things from Ivory Greengrass.
The way she put her hand over her mouth when she laughed, and the twinkle in her eyes that told you that she was always five steps ahead.
But she wasn't Diana.
Remus sighed as he placed down his quill. He needed some time. Time to take a rest and get his mind off certain things. He shouldn't be thinking of Diana at that time. He should be focusing on his paper enough.
How he took his mind off things -- was to go to the Quidditch Pitch and watch James and Sirius practice. They were the Chaser and Beater of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Also, many people knew that Diana was the Seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch Team, and almost everyone in Hogwarts knew of the rivalry between Diana Allister and Marlene McKinnon, the Seeker for Gryffindor. It was hard to pass -- fights in the hallway and glares during breakfast before any Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was all done jokingly, of course. Both of them tolerated each other, and even spent some laughs and jokes with each other, despite their houses' rivalry with each other.
When he arrived in the Quidditch Pitch, he saw a blur of green dashing through him.
The Slytherins were doing Quidditch practice.
Diana Allister, hair let down, unlike her usual twisted, braided, hair, was dashing through players, eyes on the Golden Snitch. She was flying so fast that it was a flash -- a blur of silvery blonde and green.
Ivory Greengrass was the Keeper, surprisingly. Remus watched as Diana's Quaffle shot. Ivory didn't manage to block it. The Slytherins cheered as Diana swooped down on her Nimbus 1500. Remus can't help but smile at her -- she still looked as breathtaking as always, even though her hair was tangled in the wind. He loved it when her hair was tangled in the wind. He thought that it looked simply breathtaking.
But his eyes kept going back to Ivory.
"Hey Rems," said Diana, swooping down to him, dismounting her broom quickly as she attempted to fix her hair. Quickly, she grabbed her wand and cast a spell verbally, and her hair went back to usual. "What're you doing here?"
"I thought that the Gryffindors were the ones who took the Quiditch Pitch," said Remus. "Why are the Slytherins using it? McGonagall reserved the pitch for the Gryffindors this morning -- "
" -- but the Slytherins need to train their new Keeper. Ivory Greengrass. You know her, of course, if you didn't know her I would be surprised, Lupin," said Diana as they walked through the Quidditch field, Slytherins giving odd glares at them.
"But the Gryffindors -- "
"Will lose this year." Diana finished with a smirk as she placed her broom at the broom shed carefully, and then waving her wand, locking it at its usual place.
Remus frowned. The Gryffindors had won for three years. During their second year, Hufflepuff won because the Gryffindor Seeker, May McKinnon, was sick. At that very year, their fifth year, was the year Diana claimed that Slytherin would win the House Cup. Low chance, thought Remus silently as he went out of the broom shed with Diana, chatting about Quidditch -- even though Remus didn't really understand the subject. He kept confusing Quaffles and waffles, bludgers and otters (honestly, he didn't know what that one came from), the Golden Snitch and golden -- he shouldn't say that word at all. It wasn't an appropriate word to say and he would rather not say it at all. To put it into a softer work, witch.
Diana held Remus's hand as they walked, Remus's face flushing slightly red, ears pink. The Slytherins gave glares to Remus as the two sat at the stands with Ivory, who had a box of chips with her. She reminded Remus slightly of Peter. Peter loved food. A lot, in matter of fact.
Remus sat on the left of Ivory as Diana sat on her right.
"So," said Remus. "You're the new Keeper?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Slytherins don't particularly like girls in their team, excluding Diana. But Flick had to choose me because I was the only one that wasn't 'a bunch of duffers'." said Ivory, snorting, hand over her mouth. "Honestly, they should shut up because girls can be on the team too. Everyone is equal. Besides, they already have a girl on the team -- Diana. Why not add another one too?" she asked.
Remus nodded as he gestured for her to give him some chips.
He was particularly hungry that day. Ivory gave him some chips as they watched the Beaters hit bludgers away with their bats.
Flint was yelling at the Beaters, doing hand gestures that Remus didn't understand at all. The Beaters -- Nott and Truesdale looked fearful. They looked like they wished they weren't on the Slytherin Quidditch Team, which had made the trio laugh. The Chaser, Thacker, sat at the other side of the stands, mind wandering off somewhere.
"Chips are finished." said Diana at a point.
And with that, Remus waited as the two went off to the changing room to change to their robes. They came back sweating after that. Quidditch was a tiring sport because of the weather. Sometimes the weather was rough; it could be a thunderstorm, but the students nevertheless played Quidditch. That was mad. Remus questioned how they could even survive there, and also, there were many incidents during horrible weather in Quidditch.
"Shall we go back to the castle now?" asked Ivory with a raised eyebrow.
"Bloody hell, yes," said Diana, yawning. "I haven't finished by essay. Got to beat Lily on that one." she added with a cheeky grin as the three walked to the castle of Hogwarts, grinning as they did so.
They walked into the castle, which was brightly lit -- it was almost night, the stars had begun to appear on the evening sky as they passed through the candle-lit halls of Hogwarts, the paintings chatting as they passed them.
"Will you watch us practice again, Lupin?"
"You wish, Greengrass"

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q: favourite brand of chocolate?

a: cadbury's or hershey's idk man maybe kit-kat too