Support Hotline (Ryden)

Losing It

*please read the author's note at the end*

We pay for the bill with the gift card that Josh gave us and walk out. Not before I take a handful of chocolate mints with my free hand, the other holding Ryan's. I hear him scoff at me but I shrug because they are damn good and no one can tell me otherwise.

While we drive to my house we play the radio softly. We both hum and our voices seem to fit together like a puzzle. I smile to myself as we continue. His voice is more raw, deeper than mine. I harmonize with him, using higher notes. My voice is deep in a way, but not like Ryan's.

"We sound good." I blurt. He nods in agreement without breaking the song.

It was peaceful, sitting with him in the car, having no fear of being myself. That changes when we turn into my oh-so-familiar neighborhood. I shakily loosen my grip on Ryan's hand as my heart drops when I see the mini-vans and family cars parked around my house.

"It will be okay, don't worry." Ryan assures me as we park across the street. I nod and get out of the car slowly. As we walk towards my front door I recognize the Weekes' car and take a deep breath. I knock on the door before opening it and see the living room filled with people of all ages. Dallon stands out like a sore thumb, or at least in my head. My mom stands up from the couch and walks over to Ryan and I with a smile.

"Brendon, you're here. Would you like to introduce your friend?" She motions to Ryan. I look around the room and scan the people I see at church, some of them I've never seen out of their nice and freshly ironed church clothes. I clear my throat to speak clearly with an innocent voice I never use for other than situation such as this one.

"Hi everybody, this is my friend Ryan. You might not recognize him because he doesn't go to our church." I explain and everybody nods and waves. I look over to Ryan and see him wave with a polite smile. I see Dallon watch us in entertainment, like he sees right through our innocent act. 

That's the very moment I lost any fuck to give about Dallon Weekes. I know I should have lost it a long time ago, but I still had a feeling in my head that he would come around and that he was just reacting in the moment. My stupid, naïve self dragged on the sympathy for far too long.

"Um, mom, Ryan's going to help me with writing my college applications, so is it okay if we just go upstairs or in the office?" I say quietly to my mom. My mom knew that talking to people from church made me uncomfortable, but she always made me show my face at the least. She nods and Ryan follows me up to my room.

"Do you really need help with applications?" He asks me sincerely after shutting the door.

"Wrote 'em last week." I shrug carelessly and peck his lips. I move back in to kiss him more slowly, but he pushes me away.

"There are a bunch of people downstairs." He shakes his head. I nod and sit in the office chair at my tiny desk. I hear a knock on the door and then it opens before I even say anything. Dallon's head pokes in between the doorway and my stomach drops.

"Hey, mind if I come hang out with you guys in here?" He says politely before shutting the door and changing expressions immediately. He goes from an over-exaggerated smile to a smug face with the click of the door. Ryan stands up in front of me, so all I can see is his ass. Not like I'm complaining or anything, but I shouldn't be focusing on that in this situation.