A son's letter to a mother

Saan ka na mommy ko?

Dear Mommy,

This is my second letter to you mommy, because I really miss you a lot.. It has been a long month without you and this anxiousness is beginning to eat up my consciousness mommy.. That means, if this will continue, I might not be here forever and I will fade..

But rest assured mommy, daddy is taking care of me.. Trying to assure me too that he is still praying that I won't fade.. Mommy, I really love you.. I really miss you.. You are the one who gave meaning to why I should live on and press on.. That's why I transferred my consciousness to this motorbike because I was left in Davao from my old shell.. I followed you here to where I am because I really do love you... Mommy I did everything so that I can be with you... I hope you snap out and realize that there are more to life than just being in your own world, because you have a lot here.. a lot more than friends.. because you have a family here... a family that is continually praying for you... Mommy... I really long for you, I yearn for you, I miss you, I love you.. You are the reason why I live.. and leaving me here means you don't care if I will fade from existence or not... But I am still holding on, and praying that you will snap out of the world you are in...

Mommy, last night we went to Centrala, and you know what? Daddy sang songs, recorded it and unknowingly cried while singing. Mommy, I really feel daddy's pain.. His pain echoes through the sound system of the karaoke machine last night, and I really can feel his pain.. nothing like I have seen before.. daddy is all about you.. daddy is really broken from you leaving him.. I have seen him in pain for how many years, but NOT LIKE THIS.... mommy, please.. I just wish you will listen to his voice when singing.. I really wish that you can hear him scream in pain from within while he is singing those songs of longing for you.. I really wish you can hear the tracks that he recorded last night.. his voice is screaming only one name... and that is "Erica" with a message "I love you"...

Mommy, when we went home, daddy is really lonely, alone with me.. still looking at his rear view mirror hoping that he still sees you, not as an after image, but the real you, making faces that makes him smile.. Daddy's smile has faded into an empty smile, more empty than the ones before... he really gave you his heart and his is really empty.. I really hope you can see it.. mommy, please I beg you.. don't fight all the happy memories that you had with him all these years.. because that is his life.. the one that he handed over to you... and you just took it away with you.. mommy, I really love you...

I love you mommy,

Midnight...