Forgot: (A Thuggette Story)

Chapter 21: I Still Hurt

After beating the answers out of M.J I found out he gave his truck to some nigga named D.

J.B was mad at me cause I wouldn't let him touch Trey. They lift and went back to his trap.

Jamal and Jaqon left cause they said they needed some ass. I told them that I didn't need to know when they tried to go into detail but they didn't listen. Apparently they was in the mood for black girls with red hair. I told them to go to the strip club and get out my face with all that. J.B went with them.

Todd and Mani was cuddled up in my office on the longest couch. Killa was in his office. He was trying to talk but I wasn't with it.

"Can you please just talk him. I know you miss him." Mani said. I glanced at her and went back to my paper work.

I did miss him. I missed him everyday but I'm still hurt. Everybody keep telling me that if I loved him I wouldn't let this come between us. FUCK. THEM. If I'm not ready then I'm just not fucking ready leave me the fuck alone.

"I'm good Mani thanks." I told her. She sighed and got up from where she was with Todd and came over to me. Todd whinned and glared at me. I raised my eyebrows at him and he smile shyly and waved. I shook my head and looked back at my work. I'm trying to find out who D is and she's worried about Jamie. Puh-lease.

"I know it's hard for you to forgive him. But what J.B did was worse and you forgave him." sha said in low voice.

She's been saying that lately. Comparing J.B and Killa to each other. But I'm not in love with J.B I'm in love with Jamie. I only forgave J.B because I don't want to hold a grudge against him when I just got him back.

"Look can you just talk to him?.. For me please?" she said with her pleading eyes. I sighed and looked at her long and hard before nodding just to get her off my back. I stood up and walked over to Jamie's office.

I walked in without knocking and found him smoking. I sat on his couch looking at him.

"Umm...." he said I took the blunt from him and took a hit. Damn that shit was good I ain't smoke in while I need to roll one when I get back to my office.

"Mani said we had to talk. I came to get her off my back." I told him handing the blunt back.

He took the blunt and put it out. I slightly pouted at the sight and stared at it as smoke rises from the tip. I shouldn't have gave it back to him.

He chuckled and smiled at look on my face. I looked up at him and playfully mugged him.

"I shouldn't have gave it back." I said voicing my thoughts. "That was a perfectly good blunt and now it gone."

"You could just light it back up." he suggested.

"Oh yeah.... Give me a light." I said taking the blunt from the tray it was in. I lit it with the red lighter he gave me. 'Inhale the good shit Exhale the bad' I thought to myself closing my eyes and leaning back on couch.

"M.J....." I heard Jamie say. Damn I forgot where I was for a second. I opened my eyes to look at him letting him know I was listening.

"I apologize for my actions against you. I understand that you didn't tell me for a reason and I shouldn't have accused you of something we all know you would never do." he said looking in to my eyes.

"I am sincerely sorry for any and all pain I may have caused you But I need you M.J... Even if it's just as a best friend I need to know that you would care if I died today-"

"Stop yo.... What the fuck?" I said frowning sitting up and looking at the floor. Just thinking about that shit makes me want cry and fuck shit up. I felt my eyes change colors. I glance at Jamie but quickly turned my attention back to him floor. I know his saw my eye color but I don't care.

"That just blew my high. You think I don't care about you? You think I don't still love you from the bottom of my fucking heart, with every fiber in my fucking body?" I said looking at him from the corner of my eye.

"I may walk around with my head high and mug on my face. But I will ALWAYS love you Jamie. What, because I'm the fearless Mickie 'Ghost' Jones I'm not aloud to feel? I'm not suppose to hurt? I Hurt Too Jamie! I hurt every-fucking-day." I could feel stinging in the back of my throat but I was not about to cry.

"I still hurt Jamie. I cry night after night because I feel every and any bad thing a that ever happened I any and everyone close to me is because of me.
You guys not trusting me? My fault. J.B leaving? My fault. My mother passing? My fault. I can never do anything right. I can't even love right. Every one I love hates me, leaves me, or doesn't trust me. I can't always be strong Jamie, I still hurt, let me be human. I still fucking hurt." I said glaring at the floor.

I felt Jamie pull me into him and wrap his arms around me. I hugged him back. I missed being in his arms. Its like all the weight on my shoulders disappear and I can breath again.

"I know I don't tell you this often but you are so beautiful." he said causing me to chuckle.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing." he paused "I love you Mickie. Whether you hurt or not I will always be here."

"I love you too." I said into his chest.

"Will you be my girl again?" he asked.

"Yes" I said looking up at him. He leaned in and kissed me leaving me in a blissful heaven.

✌💚