Evan Peters Imagines

Sign To Me

   So this idea came from NightHatchet and it was such a good suggestion. But side note: selective mutism is a very complex form of an anxiety disorder. The person could be mute for short periods, extensive periods, or their whole lives in very severe cases. For more information go to selectivemutismcenter.org. Anyway I hope you enjoy this imagine!

I sigh as I walk down the aisles of the farmers market. Listen to the sales pitches, the barter, the chaos and noise. I don't take part in any of it. Well, I really can't and won't. Social settings like this make it worse for me. Selective mutism is often a childhood condition but for me, a twenty one year old, it's an adulthood condition.
It all started when I moved out to LA and everything started to change. I moved from a small and quiet town in Washington. Then LA was a total culture shock. Everyone moved too fast and and nothing styled still. That's when I realized it was all too much and I just had too much noise in my life. So I cut some of that noise out of my life, and stopped speaking. It just sort of happened. I didn't want to keep talking but I also didn't want to stop. But I just stopped.
       So here I am today and it's been 6 weeks since I haven't spoken one word. It's ok because my job is just writing a blog online. Companies send me their products to be reviewed, I give them a review, not always good, and get paid. The money is good and let's me live a comfortable life.
    I pick up some fruit and other groceries from the farmers market and do my usual errands. But at one stand I just stopped to check my phone. The man that ran the stand asked me "If you're not going to buy anything please move along, you're blocking my display." I hold up one finger to signal that I just need a moment. I would've signed it but he didn't look like the type to understand sign language. Side note, I've been learning sign language ever since I went quiet. 
     "Miss, please move." I signal him again, a company has just emailed me giving me a new product to review. "This is the last time I'm going to ask you before I make you move." I startle and drop my phone. I scramble to pick it up and when I stand up again the man comes charging towards me. He's about to shove me back before this guy jumps in the way and blocks the guy from getting to me.
     "Hey man! Don't do that." This guy has floppy brownish blonde hair and is tall. He's still facing the crazy guy. The stand man tells him to just leave and that's when he turns around. He has big brown eyes, a pointed nose, and a wide smile. "Sorry about that guy. What's your name?" Oh no. A question I can't nod or shake my head to answer. Whatever. I'm gonna have to try to sign some time. I sign my name. He raises his brows in question.
     "Are you deaf?" He asks gently. I shake my head and reach for the pen and notebook I've been keeping in my bag. I scribble Mute. He nods his head in understanding. My name is Y/N. What's yours? "Evan." He says. Evan with the brown eyes. "So you're mute. What's that like?" I start writing down I'm mute, but by mute I mean selective mutism. Evan nods his head but I don't think he gets it. Selective mutism is when a person undergoes a traumatic experience or change in their life to cause anxiety. SM is just a form of anxiety and a way to cope with it. "Oh. So what happened to make you become a Selective Mute." I just shake my head. I don't really like to share with people on what my life is.
     Evan nods. When he nods his hair flops. It's kinda cute. "So would you like to get a coffee or something over at the food stands. I'd like to talk to you more. You seem like an interesting person." I smile at the word talk. No one has asked me to talk with them in quite a while. I nod my head yes and Evan leads the way. I order my coffee and so does he. When I go to get money out for the coffees he stops me. "I got this." He hands the person the money and I write down thanks.
     We find a table and he says, "So what do you do for a living. Are you in college?" I write to him that I'm a writer and have a blog where I talk about living in LA, having SM, and just about my life and basically get paid for it when companies send me their products. But no, I'm not in college. I finished all my college courses online and double majored in creative writing and communications. What do you do?
    He laughs and says, "This probably sounds dumb but I'm an aspiring actor." I smile and tell him it's not dumb at all.

    Long story short he ends up asking me on a date.

    After that date, he asks me on another one, and another one, and soon were on our seventh date.

    And I feel guilty. Now it's been almost 12 weeks since I haven't spoken.

    "Are you ok?" Evan asks me. He signs it to me. He's taken up son language so I don't have to write everything down. That's just how sweet he is. And I'm pretty sure I love him. But I don't have the courage to say it to him.
     Tonight I left my paper and pen at home. I decided that if he can learn to sign for me, I can speak for him. After almost 6 weeks of being with him, we've kissed and held hands and even had sex. He's lovely and amazing and everything right in the world. So I decide it's time. Time to tell him how I feel and finally speak.
     I have to tell you something, I sign. Ok, he replies. I open my mouth and try, try so hard to speak but nothing comes out. I see his eyes widen. Knowing what's about to happen, he holds my hand over the table. "I-I... I," my voice, hoarse from disuse, sounds so ragged. "I love you." I finally manage to get out.
    His smiles widens and his eyes fill with tears. "I love you, too." He chokes on his words. He reaches over to my side of the table and kisses me. And I say it again and again and so does he.