My Two Angels (Pit x Reader x Dark pit) *ON HOLD*

I have no idea what to call this

Hey guys....so I wanted to write this, since it seems I can only show my true feelings through writing. I don't know why I put these on the Internet, but I hope some people do feel the same way as me...

So enjoy the chapter/poem thingy, also warning for depression, maybe angst, and other triggers for teens besides sexual triggers.

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Why?

"Are you alright?"

I hear those words all the time, I want to say it. I want to say everything I'm feeling. But I just end up saying-

"Yeah, I'm fine!"

How wrong I am, I feel like God is just trying to make me sad.

"I'm so sorry but..."

First my sister dies, everything started from. When God decided to take my sister. I never had a good relationship with my mom, more like we rarely talk unless it's about dinner. But now she checks on me, because I rarely leave my room.

"Hey, just checking in..."

"Okay."

After she leaves I go back to what I was doing.

I love to draw, it helps with my feelings. Sometimes.

I have amazing friends, but it's hard. Having one being on depression and saying that she has a demon in her, she tells me that she will kill herself if she is upset. Too bad she doesn't know how I feel, even when I straight up say it to her face.

"You need to speak up more often."

That's what my dad says, but I just can't. It seems I was made to be quiet, but then why does he tell me I'm so loud?

I used to look up to him, but now..

"Your mom doesn't care about anyone but herself."

I don't see that, she's trying to help a friend who tried to hurt herself when her parents did nothing. I honestly don't know who to trust or be with. My mom, who seems to be changing for the better, or my dad, who I have a deep connection with, but not so deep.

I can't tell anyone about what I think. Death, ending my life or someone else's. Hell I can't end my life, I'm too much of a coward.

I bottle everything up so no one can see how much of a monster I am. In my mind I see blood every where, blood from innocent people that could be my victim. I feel tears running down my cheek every night, late so my dad won't hear me. I can feel my heart beat, I just want to end it.

But I can't, I'll make everything worse if I do.

But to make it worse, the one thing that I want most. Is love. No not love that you get from a family, love from another person from another family. To feel the warm embrace, to feel safe with them. I want that so badly, but it seems that I'm destined to not have it.

Every one seems to hate me, I smell, I'm fat, I'm complete garbage!

"Well fine then, I won't tell you about the rumors of you stinking."

I have sleep issues, I'm trying to stop eating unhealthy so I can be appeasing to others. No one wants me, I'm only a family could love. And even then I push them away. I'm sorry, I don't to push them away, but I can't have them see how much of a demon I am!

The love I want, the person I want it from. They don't exist, or the person who I get so along with, they're straight.

Maybe if I make myself a guy, I could finally have their love? No, it wouldn't work. People will say I'm too young to think this way, but was I too young to be shown how bad this world can be? Was I too young to be so childesh that I got pity from other younger piers?

No I was, and because of that....I am who I am today. But God damnit!! I WANT TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!!!! I want to be able to have people see me as a friend, but I'm just the bottom of the barrel to them.

I just can't take it.....

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The two angels walked into the room to see the girl they both cared for crying in her sleep. They walked up and climbed into the bed and hugged her, but she didn't smile.

'I just want to be loved by someone...'