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Chapter 40: Hold On We're Going Home

Being held in custody for 48 hours gave me some time to think.
It gave my mind a chance to understand and comprehend what was occurring. My memory returned and short spurts because it was the first time in my life, I was living in honesty.

My karma had finally caught up with me and I could only go up from here. I was trying to think positively because I know for a fact...my family is still out there.

I owned up to my mistakes and I realized that in a sense...sleeping with Raphael was getting reassurance to my fake identity.

Aries was a slut, heartless, cold...and yet she was independent and sensitive.

But who I really was...Roselyn Merchant.
Was she no better?
My real identity was sadistic, hateful and rather lonely.

So here I was stuck with a body that had nothing...not even a mind or a name.

But Raphael made me realize I was capable of something the rest of my family wasn't.
I was capable of love and that made all the more difference.

Damon gave me an ultimate sacrifice, he worked against me to save me and although that sounded backwards, I appreciated it nonetheless.

Harry was simply a backstabbing bitch and I had to admit that losing him and finding out he as against me actually hurt.

He was an older brother figure, he had some of Keegan's positive characteristics and although I was close with my other two brothers, Cody and Patrick, Keegan I looked up to the most.

He taught me the ropes.

Emily was marrying Harry and that was too difficult to even understand.
How could she marry him?

That was Brooke's birth father and she was married to Raphael!


Poor Miranda...I never wanted her to die...but they needed to ensure I wouldn't leave...I was going to take her with me and we were going to leave together...get away from everything... Her father...my family.

I couldn't hurt her family anymore and even though she was younger than me, she had such an old soul...I didn't want to avenge her...I wanted to make her proud.

She saw me bigger than everyone else in my family, she knew I was better than all of that.

Now I had to wait...wait for the truth.

I sat on the uncomfortable bunk and twirled my fingers, sighing to myself...

Raphael was dead.
I closed my eyes as I felt the tears slip down the corners of my eyes...
I wanted to tell him that I appreciated him. I thought he was a great man despite what he did to his father... I did worse things.
I wanted to tell him that I loved him over and over again and make love for hours.

But he was...gone.

I held my face and sobbed into my hands and felt my body shudder. Naturally the heat rushed to my face and turned red, my chest rising and dropping in hard heaves.
So all those lives my family took, this is how the families felt.

Years of hiding an emotion, coating it and covering it, finding another word for it all.

Acting as if I didn't care, as if I never cared when in reality that's the only thing I did...care.

I couldn't stop the tears now.

I was crying for Damon.
I was crying for all the families we had hurt.
I was crying for Becca.
I was crying for Miranda.
I was crying for Raphael.

I couldn't handle any of this pain as I felt it overflow.

I felt like wailing and rolling on the ground in agony.
I literally felt it all over my body. My heart hurt. My body ached. My mind strained to comprehend the fact that I ruined everything.

And it was my fault because as I had it coming.

But I didn't want to feel sorry for myself.
I couldn't.
I refused.

Miranda needed to look down at me with pride...and now so did Raphael.


After hours of sulking, a police chief came to my cell and opened the door.
"You have a visitor." He says blankly as he chews his gum slowly. His mustache bobbing up and down as he smacked on his gun like it was his last meal.

I wiped my red and swollen eyes and followed him.
We came to a door, a security guard checked me of any weapons and lead me into a room.

I sat down and waited as I felt as though I was being watched.

I pause for a moment and my mouth drops as I see Raphael walk through the door.

Emotion overwhelms me and I cover my mouth and choke up on tears, gurgling his name as I see his eyes glisten with tears.

"Oh Angel." He says and walks towards me, he goes to hug me but a security guard clears his throat.

No. I needed his arms around me.

Raphael looks at me with low eyes and sits in the chair across from me, his jeans and button up shirt made him look so casual.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were-" but he stops me and shakes his head.

"Don't say it. I'm okay. She tried to and the police are looking for her but she's nowhere in sight. She vanished." Raphael says as if it were some magical mishap.

I shake my head and close my eyes, nice guys do finish last I suppose.

"You shouldn't be in here." He quickly adds looking at my eyes.

"God Angel, your eyes. Have you been crying all day?" He says and I finally tell him to shut up.

"Raphael, I do belong in here. All of the stuff, I had did as a kid." My voice trails off and I look away, trying not to be embarrassed over it.

"You were a minor Angel." He says.
"But I'm not anymore. They're going to trial me as I am now." I say and he frowns.

"You shouldn't be. That's morally incorrect. Besides, you, personally, only stole from my family. I'm not pressing charges and neither is my mother." He says and I look at him.

His bright hazel eyes inducing me into a passionate mental frenzy.

"Your mum?" I say with a short smile, and he nods, "She survived." He simply says.

God, I want to hug him.

"All of this will be over. I'll explain to them that, I'm not pressing any charges." He says and I shake my head.

He thought so positively and I loved that about him along with many other things.

"It's not that simple. Attempt to murder is attempt to murder. I can't change that. Plus I'm also being charged with Arson." I say and he frowns.

"Arson? Your family is suing you for burning down the house?" He asks in a disbelieved tone.
"Yup." I say popping the 'p' as I sigh.
I couldn't believe it either.

"We can't get around the attempt to murder and I'm going to pay your bail-"
I stop him there.
"The money is far too much. Besides it may be safer for me to be in here. I have a plan for my family, I want to countersue them but I don't have a lawyer. I don't have anything." I say and he licks his lips.
"My lawyer. Or I'll get you one."
This man was too sweet.

"Champ, listen, you're used to it being easy for you and I understand that. But it's different. I'm a wanted fugitive and I basically ran from the law." I say with an honest shrug.

"Technically you ran away from the law. You were a child Rose."

That was the first time he's used my real name and I didn't know how to embrace that.

"We'll figure it out. Okay?" I whisper and he nods and reaches for my hand, kissing my knuckles gingerly.

"I'm going to get you out of here. And when I do, we are going to set things right and after that it's just you and me." I smile and kiss his forehead and stand to my feet.

I can barely stand to walk away from him. I miss him.
I need him. I craved him.

It was too much to bare.



About two hours later, a snobby looking man walked up to my cell again.

"Merchant, you've been bailed out. Come on."

No words can describe how I feel when I hear those words. I gave grace to God as I practically shouted out the doors.

But words couldn't explain how I felt when I saw who bailed me out.



Rayleen Carter.

~~*~*~*~*

Hello beauties! I apologize for the error I made last chapter, when people asked why Raphael was in that chapter but it was a spelling error.
It was supposed to say Keegan so I'm sorry for that.
Chapter 49 babyyy and many more to come (:

I hope you are all doing wonderfully and I'll be updating again soon. Perhaps I'll write it up tonight and post it early tomorrow morning.

I'm going to write the next chapter to Seduction later as well.

Tell me what you guys think
x flower

Song: Hold On We're Going Home
X Drake

Sounds pretty relevant right? Lol
God bless !