She

Chapter 49: Bandz

On my last day of staying in the hospital, I was told that my sister Haley wanted to see me. I was walking finally and my stomach was beginning to grow. I was pushing Damon's wheelchair over to Haley's room and once I saw her lying there in the bed, my heart dropped. A male doctor suddenly approached me with a sad expression across his face. "How is she?" I ask and he looks down at his clipboard, running his hair through his blonde locks. "Things aren't looking so well." He admits and I sigh. I should've prepared myself for this and yet my mind still couldn't even wrap around the fact that she was even diagnosed. "How long does she have?" I ask, slowly and he turns away for a moment. "Maybe you should go and talk to her." He says and backs away to let me walk through the door. Her heart is beating steadily from what I can see. She has lost a lot of weight and her hair was turning grey. She was attached to many machines and her lips were chapped.

"Hey crippled," She teased slowly and I can't help but let the tears slip down my face slowly, but yet I smile. It was so hard trying to be strong just for her.

  "Hey beautiful," I whisper and swallow even though my throat is dry. I walk up to her slowly, Damon wheeling along beside me as I bend down to gently touch her forehead and she sighs in shakily. "Doc said you wanted to see me," I say with a low chuckle and she licks her bottom lip and nods. "Yeah, it's clear that at this rate, I'm not going to make it to see your wedding." She mumbles and I look down. My wedding was next week. 

My heart clenched together and my throat began to get sore.

Don't cry Merchant. Don't cry.

I shrug and look up at her as I find her staring at me dead in the eyes. "I'm too far along for them to even slow down the process. But I have requests." She says and tries to sit up but I rub her arm slowly.

No, you don't have to move. I wanted to say that but it was as if the words in my mouth were mute.  

"Anything," I finally croak and she blinks at me for a moment. "I wanted to be cremated." She says and I frown at her. "Any specific reason?" I ask and she smirks. "I'm not saying you have to keep me on your dining room table. I want to be cremated because in a way, I see that as a form of rebirth for me." She says with a shrug. Her body being burned into ashes? I couldn't even think about that, I wanted to burst into tears just thinking about it. 

I would keep her in my house, just not on my dining room table... "You want me to keep the ashes?" I ask and she nods. "We've been apart all of our life and I feel lke in some type of way, it'll keep me with you. I know it may sound creepy but-" "I understad Haley." I assure with a smile and she nods. "I have one more request." She murmers and sits back. "Yeah?" I ask and she smiles, "Dance. Dance like you've never danced before. Go with it. Make it your job. But the right way. Dance for me...dance for you." She whispers. Well that was an odd request. "Why do you want me to dance so badly?" I ask her.

  "Because it makes you feel alive." She says with a soft chuckle. The context of her words were running much deeper than she thought. All I could so was nod, I would give her that. I would follow and respect her wishes. "I'm proud of you and I love you so much Rosie. I admire you so much and I know you'll be a great mother. " She says and I lean down to press my lips to the side of her head. "You're beautiful Haley, a truly beautiful person and I love you too."

"I'm ready." She mumbles and I look up. Ready? Ready to die...

"Save a spot up there for me." I whisper and she nods, "I promise." And we hug, holding onto each other for life, Haley didn't realize, I needed her more than she thought....and it was time for her to leave.

Haley died two days before my wedding, which didn't complicate anything as much as I figured it would, due to her final request. It hit me hard and really complicated my actions towards the wedding.