The Light in the Dark (completed)

Always

    You ready? Zach asks me. I close my eyes and nod. Zach steps out and helps me out. We had been driving for hours but after a few visits, I still have no idea where I am. I think somewhere in Illinois but that's about all I know. It was two days after I had turned 100 pounds and I was going to start chemo today. I was getting one round of chemo and then three weeks of rest then I would come back. I wasn't getting a very strong dose because my cancer wasn't that bad, but now I could feel the tumor inside of me. The feeling was really scary, too. I walked through the sliding doors and Zach signed me in. A nice nurse led me to a room with a hospital bed, wheel chair propped in the corner, a sink, and a chair for the doctor.
    "The doctor will be in here in a moment" she says. I turn to Zach and then I pull my hair around my shoulder to play with the tips.
The doctor walks in quite quickly and turns to me. He starts to talk and Zach translates for me because he talks funny.
"Hello, Holly Thorn. We will be starting chemotherapy today and after this you will have three weeks of rest." I don't think he will talk to me as if I'm an adult, since I wouldn't understand some things anyway. "We will take you out in a few minutes and you know, you will get sick because it helps to kill cancer cells or weaken them, it will kill healthy cells too."
I nod along to his words and after he is finished I take Zach's hand.
I'm ready.

•••
[authors note: Sorry guys😁 I don't know anything about chemo so please excuse my lack of knowledge.]
•••

I wake back up in my hospital bed and a little drowsy. I don't feel good, actually I don't feel good at all. Zach is sitting in a chair across the room with his head leaning back and his breath steady. He is sleeping.
Almost as if on cue, he shakes himself awake and stares at me for a moment before signing. How are you? He pulls his chair up to my bedside.
A bit nauseous. I sign.
I'm sorry. Zach signs and I sit up a little with his hands supporting my waist and helping to pull me up.
When can I get out? I ask him. I really wanted to go to sleep.
Are you tired? He asks.
Yeah kind of. I signed.
Just sleep here.
No.
Why?
Zach? I sign. I looks at me pleadingly. I'm afraid I'll never wake up again. Just go to sleep and never know when your leaving?
Your not going to die.
But I might, Zach. I don't want you to pull me out of reality and I don't want you to lie to yourself either. I know that nobody wants to be in a relationship with a dying person. I get if you want to leave me. I sign almost without thinking.
He blinks in surprise and watches me for a moment. Holly, I think I might have stronger feelings about you than you do me. Zach sighs for a moment and then looks at me straight in the eyes. Holly, I love you and I have never known how you feel exactly about me but all I know is that I love you and I care too much about you to lose you. I'm silent for a minute but then I look at him.
I might be in love with you, I smile a bit. But I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you though. I sign and smirk a bit. Zach rolls his eyes.
Quoting fictional characters. Really mature Holly. Zach smirks.
Yeah I know, I know. I laugh and lay back down on the bed.
    Go to sleep, I'm here. I promise. He signs and I grab his hand, I let my body relax and I fall into an uneasy sleep.

•••

I lean my head on Zach's shoulder on the car ride home. I had slept a lot but Zach hadn't. The whole ride home he was gently snoring with his head leaning against my head. I smiled as I feel his breath against the top of my head the ride home.
    When the car stops, I feel Zach shift and adjust my body so I'm looking up at him.
    We home? He signs.
    Your home. I kiss his cheek. But yes. We are back.
    Zach stand up and exits the car. He holds the door open for me and once I get out, he closes it.
    Thank you. I sign.
    Can you meet me, you know? At the garden. Dress nice? He asks me.
    Of course. I sign. Around 10? He nods and I walk into the orphanage. I wave before I walk through the door, I wave to Zach and walk in. I'm guessing this is a date right? I don't think a floral dress would match a date at night though. As I think and think, I come with no solution. I search through my wardrobe and then through my drawers under my bed. My hands slide across soft fabric. I pull out a black dress I remember belonged to Kacy before she left. She told me to keep it. It wasn't the "style" up there. I slid into it and looked at the full length mirror. The top wrapped snug around my neck and diagonally wrapped down and around my body. There were no wrinkles in the top and the bottom came out from the waist in waves. I combed my hair out and left it alone. I checked the time. 9:53 I can walk there in less then five minutes. I slide on black flats and walk down the street. When I open the gate, I see Zach already there sitting on the porch swing. He was wearing a white polo shirt and khakis.
    I waved a greeting to him and he smirked. What? I finally say.
    I'm just thinking of how lucky I am to have you. I feel myself blush but try and hide it.
    I teasingly slap his arm. That so basic! I sign and I laugh and he eventually joins in.
    Holly? Zach asks after a moment of silence. I raise an eyebrow and he signs, I won't leave you. I promise. I won't leave you.
    Forever? I ask unsure of what the right thing to say was.
    Always. He signs and I almost cry.
   Just like Snape? I ask.
   Just like Snape. He replies. I lean in a bit closer.
   What about when I die? I ask.
    You won't have to worry about that any time soon. Zach clarifies.
    Okay, then I'll never leave either. Then Zach gently raises my head by only the tips of his fingers and his face is only centimeters from mine. He pulls my face closer to our lips meet only for a second. It was short and sweet and special. I had never kissed anyone before I didn't really know what to do.
    I love you. I sign.
    I love you too. Zach signs back. I brush my fingers through my hair and brush it to the side. My fingers emerge out of the tips of my hair and I look down horrified. A handful of dark brown hair hung off of my fingers. I don't look up but I feel Zach's hands run along mine. I lean forward my my head reaches Zach's chest and I leave it there. I fell my tears fall and Zach's hand right above the small of my back. I feel safe but I'm not. Maybe from the world but inside me is a whole different matter.