∆Wicked Games∇ Jøshler

Reflection

He looks out at the changing leaves and breathes in the sweet smell of fall. He used to love fall. He used to smile with friends and family. He used to enjoy a lot of things. He used to feel things.

Tyler sits on the wooden floor criss cross apple sauce as his small hands hold his shoe covered feet. He feels so small, fragile, weak... He feels lost.

The small doe eyed boy used to feel everything at once. He was always smiling with friends and cracking jokes when others were down. He was social and had a decent life.

He looks out at the trees as he feels alone, that's all he ever seems to feel anymore, and he hates it. He hates that no one is there for him anymore. He doesn't want to believe his family and friends could just up and disown him for his sexuality but they did.

He wants to look at his mom and dad as he screams until they understand he's the same Tyler, he just likes boys. He hasn't changed, this is who he's always been.

He doesn't feel anymore. He's numb, but not completely. He feels every pin and needle poke through his skin just the same as he did when his father screamed in his face to get out of his house, telling him to never come back until he realized he was wrong.

Tyler never went back. He knew he wasn't wrong for being who he was. He wasn't what society seen him as. Tyler believed in God, he had emotions, he was a person. His life should matter, but society is not known for understanding.

The small brunet looks out at the endless trees as he feels tears fall down his face and down onto Josh's sweatshirt. He smiled at the thought of the blue haired boy.

Tyler hadn't felt loved until he joined Johnny Boy's. The manger had instantly hired the boy saying his innocence and appearance was going to make him famous.

Tyler remembers when he met the other dancers. They accepted him for who he was, because they were the same as him. They were a family.

Tyler eventually got comfortable with the idea of dancing for money in revealing outfits. He eventually learned to work a pole after months of practicing nonstop. He worked hard to keep his place at the bar as a dancer. He didn't want to give up the love he felt as men threw money at him and made him feel wanted. He thought he'd finally found a home.

Tyler's chest shakes with a chuckle as he allows his body to stretch out and lay against the hard floor underneath him. He must be crazy to feel like he found a home in a strip club.

He looks up at the colorful canopy above him as he bites at his lip, trying to fight off a grin at the thought of a certain blue haired boy.

Josh.

Josh messed it all up. Tyler was fine with going through life pretending to be fine. He learned to deal with the pain through dancing, it helped numb the pain.

Tyler has never wanted anything more than to fall in love; to be treated like he deserved. He wanted to be loved, and Josh made him feel loved and so much more.

Josh

The man who used his money to make Tyler notice him. The man who took Tyler by surprise by returning every Saturday and Wednesday for a dance. The man who held him close while he cried and laughed. Josh was slowly becoming a part of the smaller boy's life and he was scared.

Tyler purses his lips as he thinks about Josh and the way he treated the small boy. Tyler loved the soft caresses and gentle kisses. Tyler could feel himself falling in love with the man he called his boyfriend.

He feels like everything is moving way too fast, but it feels so...right. Josh has even practically moved into Tyler's tiny apartment with him. Josh is always there when Tyler gets home with food he's picked up or cooked himself. Tyler has even developed the habit of having to have Josh hold him in able to go to sleep.

Tyler's terrified at the thought of love. It's so easy to go through life wanting love, but falling out of love is something Tyler never wants to have to experience .

He doesn't want to lose Josh, but either way he goes he could lose him. By calling it quits they'd never talk anymore, and if they fell out of love they'd more than likely wouldn't talk anymore.

Tyler was petrified by the single thought of losing Josh. Josh held his hand in public and even supported his dancing. Josh never said an ill word about Tyler's job choice or suggest he quit. Josh was nothing but supporting and he doesn't know how to handle that.

Josh was slowly feeling like his new home. He didn't feel the same at work anymore. He didn't feel the happiness surge through his body when people chanted his name and threw money at his dancing body.

His life changed drastically since the man with electrifying blue hair bought a lap dance and kept returning.

Tyler  was paralyzed in fear, but maybe that's the beauty of love. It's not always familiar, it's finding change and learning to embrace it.

Tyler smiled as he pulled out his vibrating phone from his pocket to see Josh's name covering the screen with a message:

From Josh🌸: hey, you aren't home and I was just wanting to make sure you were okay. What would you like for dinner tonight, by the way? Get back to me whenever you can. Stay safe, Ty.

Tyler feels his heart swell and tears form as every emotion hits him all at once. That one text making him fall even more in love with the blue haired man.

To Josh🌸: I went on a walk, I'll be home soon. How about Taco Bell?

He smiles as the feeling of being loved surges throughout his body. They haven't said those three words, they weren't ready for that yet, but actions speaks louder than words.

From Josh🌸: You know the way to my heart, Taco Bell sounds a amazing. I'll see you soon. Be careful. :)

Tyler can't seem to shake the grin on his face as he stuffs his phone back into his pocket and makes his way towards Josh.

He makes his way towards home.

__{a/n}__
I just want to drink some hot tea and watch horror movies

Stay Street |-/