Truly Sincere [Part 1]

17

When we reached studio, everyone was dead tired, we all went to our rooms. I barely pushed myself to slip into pajamas. sitting on the bed I was looking at my bruises on arms, which were mere on my heart, the were making me weak. I felt disgusted of myself when I looked down at my bruises and eventually ended up crying. Alex turned towards me, from where she was lying on the side of her bed on phone with her boyfriend

"okay!! honey I'll talk to you later, I have to pee, love you bye" she made excuse and leapt towards me

"hey!! Jas! everything's gonna be fine" She rubbed my back and hugged me when I started hiccupping

"Just when I thought I'm at a good place and I'm happy...." I said in between crying and hiccupping in her chest

"you will be happy, you have us" she pushed me back to wipe my tears,

"you're the nicest person I've known" she said with her own teary eyes

"then why this happened to me?"

"its only because you are really good person, and sometimes bad things happens to good people to make them even more stronger" she patted my shoulders

"If that's the case, I don't want to be strong" I cried

"relax!! Relax!! You just lay down, you are not completely okay jasmin, You need some rest" she made me lay down on the bed

"now close your eyes, and stop thinking"

I tried to close my swollen eyes, and when I did I slept in no time as I was tired and weak of crying

Next morning

I woke up at 9:00 am, my eyes were swollen and itchy as I cried a lot last night, I pushed myself to get up, Alex wasn't on her bed she was up, as I went outside the room, everyone was having breakfast, I covered my arms and neck with shawl and I went straight to the dining area.

"Good morning" I mumbled smiling weakly at everyone, not wanted to bother them with my problems anymore

"good morning" everyone greeted back in unison

Liam: how are you?
Me: i'm good
Niall: breakfast?
Me: sure

I smiled and took a seat near harry, as Zayn got up and offered me the seat. harry poured a glass of juice in front of me I mumbled thank you smiling at him and he returned one

"Alex pass me apples" harry asked for the apple basket placed In front of Alex

"yes sir" Alex dramatically placed the basket of apples in front of harry along with the sharp edged knives with them, while bowing her head and everyone started laughing

"look at these, these are really beautiful" harry was admiring the beauty of apple holding it in his hand, and I was admiring the danger of knives, everyone started hitting jokes on harry I took one knife, and I slipped through between them easily as no one was really noticing me, I walked towards the area under stair case, I hid myself there I decided to end the bad chapter that stepped in my life

At that very moment I started thinking of everything ever happened to me, good or bad, the trance of every single thing was flashing right in front of my eyes, tears found their way through the corner of my eyes when I recalled my parents, my parents who left my side when I needed them the most
I wasn't strong enough to leave them, But anyways I closed my eyes, reciting kalmah besides I know that I'll be going to the hell straight, I placed the knife on my wrist ..... and someone held my both hands

"are you crazy?" I opened my eyes just to find harry standing in front of me, frowning his eyebrows and gritting his teeth he pulled me out from under the staircase, forcefully. he threw the knife on the floor angrily and shook my arms

"I thought you're sensible enough to handle all of this, but you are coward, this is your stamina?? this is your power? it isn't you" he yelled on my face, our faces just inches apart, my hands were balled into fists as he was holding my wrists tightly on his chest. I looked into his green orbs, which were always lovely and warm, they were still there but I noticed the anger, and a fear

"harry..." I whispered on his face, and being embarrassed I looked down not able to eye contact anymore

"shut up! just shut up now!!" he yelled at me, it was the strange harry I've never seen this side of harry, the terrified one. tears started to trim through my eyes

"harry please! calm down" Louis placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and his grip around my wrists softened, and he pulled me into a long warm embrace, I placed my head on his chest his heart was beating so fast, and there was mere a fear not the anger, a fear of losing someone

"I'm sorry" he mumbled near my ear

"why did you stop me" I mumbled on his chest and his grip around my back tightened

"I couldn't let you die, because I ..I.." he stopped

"Please don't cry" he said, while pushing my shoulders back gently and wiping my tears

"you're crazy, I want to slap the whole life out of your small ass" Alex pulled me into hug

"you did the terrible act, you know how worried we are?" Liam said frowning his eyebrows and I looked down

"I'm sorry, I know I did an absurd act, but I can't live like this, I keep telling myself that I'm okay, but the truth is, I'm terrified I'm broken, my fiancé tried to ruin me for completely unknown reason" my voice cracking as tears were continuously rolling down my cheeks

"You don't have to worry about people who don't love you, you should live for people who do" Alex said in a calm voice, her eyes were filled with tears

" Who would love me" I mumbled wiping my own tears

"you have no idea how much someone loves you, somewhere. don't say things like that, because they might end up getting hurt by your words and becomes disappointed to see you getting weak like this" Louis held my shoulders strongly and I was quiet

"look Jasmin, we all know that this incident was really bad, but you should not get weak, you have to be strong" Niall patted my head

"we all are with you, we are not going to leave your hand, you don't need no one when you have your friends with you" Zayn said

"thank you everyone, I have no words" I covered my face in my palms and everyone pulled me into group hug, and I was again strong and pulled together by their love and support.