Truly Sincere [Part 1]

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we had already started work on fourth album. while Me and harry were getting closer and closer day by day. the whole world felt so true beside him, but in my heart I knew I was doing wrong, things aren't meant to go this way, and also I knew that things would go wrong way one day, cause I and harry aren't meant to be together in any possible way

"another cup of coffee? are you okay?" Alex closed the door behind her of our room and I smiled at her before letting out an exhausted sigh. she sat beside me and patted my knee to let me know that she's there to listen and understand

"I think its time" I said in a low voice still not able to look into her eyes

"what are you talking about" her voice was calmer than usual cause she was bewildered to see me like this

"its harry, his feelings are getting purest for me, this is not good, I love him too, but I know that we can't be together, we can't run away from reality we have to face the truth sooner or later, then why not now, I have to remind harry, that our love is meant to be apart, we can't be together, I think this is the right time to make him remind that there is no match for us both, until it gets too late" I let out everything that was piling up on my shoulders from day one, I sighed putting my coffee cup on my night stand 

"what do you want now?" Alex asked stern, she didn't get mad she didn't yell at me, she knew we have to face the truth the adult way

"I'll quit the job, I'll go to my parents place for a while and find another job, betterment of us both" I said beside I knew I'd die without my groove, I cant see him getting attached to me by the time and tearing him apart afterwards from me. besides a little part of me knew that its late to do this now

"girls! can I come in?" Niall knocked the door softly

"yes" Alex answered and he peeked inside the room like a kid and frowned looking at both of us, but we both smiled at him

"Zayn's calling both of you in lounge" Niall said and left before us

"you're really gonna do that?" Alex asked me and I simply nodded, she left the room before me disappointed and I knew it's going to be the hardest decision of my life, I'll talk to him when the time is right

I went downstairs to the lounge and everyone was already there, Harry smiled while patting the sofa seat beside him, I scooch beside him and he putted his arm around my shoulder and held my hand tightly in his other hand. and I gulped down looking at his smiling face knowing the fact that I'm going to tear him apart from me, I'll be the reason he won't smile anymore, this safe place is so hard to leave, he looked into my eyes and frowned, I realized that my worried face was on mode I just quickly brushed it off by smiling and waited for the moment for Zayn to start and end up his talk

"Guys thank you so much for taking time out for me, I need to talk upon something really serious with you all" Zayn intertwined his fingers in his lap as he was sitting down on couch, and his face was telling me that something's definitely wrong in the air

"I think we had an amazing journey, we spent four incredible years altogether, I am happy to be blessed with such great four brothers, but I think,......" he stopped, and I was already covering my eyes with my hand, aware of what was coming next

"its over now,......!!" he said, and there was dead silence in the lounge for a couple of minutes, but I could feel my heart beat in my ears, Harry's grip on my hand loosened I looked at his face he had no expression on

"over?" Liam repeated his word in a low voice and I looked up around the room, the perplexity in the room made me wishing for all of that to be just a dream

"what! Zayn this can't be you right? Louis stood up but Zayn was looking at his hands, like he knew this was going to happen one day, Alex was holding her temples and I recalled what she said to me other day
Zayn: um! Guys don't take me wrong, but have you ever felt, that we are not really living our lives, we're in the golden period of our lives and what are we doing to ourselves I want to leave the band, I have total right to live a life" Zayn said in low voice

"Bro! this is our life" Niall said

"No Niall! this isn't a life, we are living a robotic life, we have hectic routine all the time, we can't sleep properly, we can't eat properly, we can't go to our parents on weekends even, we are all the time at work, just to please the world" Zayn said still not able to eye contact with anyone, I know he was hurt, everyone was hurt with his decision

"Zayn?" Harry finally uttered something, his voice was weak I rubbed the back of his hand

"I love and respect you all, but I guess I'm not meant to be here anymore" Zayn said, no one said anything, there was disturbing silence. Harry loosened my hand from his grip and stood up from the couch and went out quietly of the main door, I was bewildered for a while but I ran after him calling his name, he didn't stop

"Harry please listen to me" I screamed when he reached the lawn of our studio, he stopped in his steps and I was facing his back, I went in front of him only seeing his eyes filled with pain and tears

"Harry" I whispered his name and he looked at me with teary eyes he was at the verge of bursting out, I didn't say anything but embraced him, he hugged me back tightly, I tried to embrace his big structure in my arms as he let out his tears on my shoulder, I just rubbed his back to calm him down but nothing seemed to soothe him that moment, he was broken

"why would he leave?" He mumbled on my shoulder

"maybe this was meant to be Harry, this decision wasn't easy for him too" I said

"I just can't imagine to lose him, he's my brother" Harry said and pulled back, I wiped his tears thinking he's too soft for heartbreaks, this wasn't the right time to tell him that I'm also a quitter because he was already heart broken and I wasn't cruel enough to leave his hand when he needs me

"Relax harry, I'm with you" I hugged him back and he embraced me tightly

"What would I do without you"