Power Within II: Bound by a Promise(Under revision)

XII: CONFUSION

Khaos

“And here I thought, some geek had the guts to sit on the garden that Se7en practically owns,” Gerardine exclaimed. Her hands on her waist.

Saglit ko siyang nilingon pero ibinalik ko rin agad ang atensyon sa hawak kong libro.

“You've really turned into a nerd, Khaos. Look at your clothes.” Nginiwian niya sa suot kong plain white polo shirt. “You're even wearing glasses!” Walang pasabi nitong hinablot ang tinutukoy bago 'yon sandaling sinipat saka isinuot sa sarili. “Do I look sophisticatedly sexy with glasses?” Kinagat niya ang hintuturo na para bang nang-aakit.

“Give that back, Gerardine.”

“Kiss me, then I'll give it back.” She pursed her lips and closed her eyes.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako habang nakatingin sa kanya bago idinampi sa labi niya ang librong hawak ko gaya ng ginawa ko sa isa sa mga panaginip ko. Agad kong binawi ang salamin at isinuot saka naglakad palayo.

She was left touching her lips and with a smile, believing I really kissed her.

“Hey, wait a minute! That didn't felt like a kiss!” Habol niya na dahil sa realisasyon.

“You know I would never kiss you, you're like a—”

“I know, I know—a sister!” pagdiin niya sa huling salita. “Stop walking and talk to me.” Humarang siya sa nilalakaran ko kaya napilitan akong huminto.

She looked at me from head to toe. “You've really changed! Hindi na ikaw 'yan.”

“Ako pa rin 'to. The same Khaos you've known.” Nilampasan ko siya para magpatuloy na sana sa paglalakad na napigil lang din nang hatakin niya ang braso ko.

“No, this isn't you! You're turning to someone else,” she seriously insisted, looking straight at me. “Kilala mo pa ba ang sarili mo?” Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. “The Khaos I know loves fighting and despises studying. The Khaos I know will never wear clothes as dull as this!” Hinawakan niya pa ang kuwelyo ng damit ko.

“What are you talking about?” Lito ko siyang tinitigan. “I-I was always like this.” Maging ako parang hindi sigurado sa lumabas sa bibig ko.

“You weren't! You were Se7en's formidable leader, not some geek who wastes time reading books all day!”

Was I really like what Gerardine said? I've always thought that what I am now, is how I've usually been.

Nagsimulang mapuno ng tanong ang utak ko. My head pulsed in pain as if my skull's being bashed open by a hammer. Nagmamadali ko siyang iniwan nang wala nang sinasabi. Nalilito ako sa sarili kong pagkatao.

Nakauwi na 'ko bago ko pa namalayan. Gulong ang isip na nagpalakad-lakad ako sa kuwarto. As I caught a glimpse of my reflection on the glass door, more questions came rushing in. Why did I decide to color my hair black? Napansin ko rin ang tenga ko. Bakit ko nga ba inalis ang mga hikaw ko?

I saw my own confused expression on the glass' transparent surface. Mabilis kong hinubad ang suot na eyeglass at dinurog 'yon gamit ang sarili kong kamay saka inihagis.