Luella

41 | tarzan

L U E L L A

That night, I felt a strange mixture of conflict at the back of my throat. Completely torn between giving in to Harry (which is what I had just done with just a few words he uttered out of those lips) and actually teaching him a lesson. But how was I gonna teach him a bloody lesson? I'm not Kate Carter, for God's sake. But I am the one to call her the next morning.

"I need your assistance," I chirped after we'd said our good mornings.

"Well, I feel...used."

"Don't. Instead, feel appreciated. You're like the sister I never had." I said dramatically.

"Okay, you turning to be like me now. What's up?"

I puckered my lips and took a seat on the unmade bed. "What do you do when your not-a-boyfriend-but-far-away-from-a-friend-"

She cut me off. "Speak English. What about our infamous Tarzan?"

I sigh and close my eyes. "Tarzan was caught with the gorilla," I said.

"No way!" Kate gasped, immediately getting it. I love this girl. "How are you calm? Are you crying? You should be flipping the fuck out!"

And that's when I spill it all. I tell my best friend about everything, starting from when he came back needing a 'distraction' that I was hesitant to give, to our screaming match and the potential neighbor complaint Kate might be receiving when she gets back, to the way his words swelled my heart when he told me he cares about me and that he's trying to act in a better way than before.

All that, while mentioning only briefly how shitty I felt from the earlier showdown I got to with Margaret; I felt in no need to bring that up for too long. I just need to live in the moment, as if my eighteen past years of my life had never happened.

However, speaking of the epic night before out loud, I felt pathetic that I'd given in to Harry so easily. If only I'd known how to deal with boys.

"Where is he now?" Kate asked once she was done throwing in random comments about what an arse Harry is throughout my story. "Where are you?"

"Well, I'm actually in your flat right now."

// LAST NIGHT //

I slowly pulled back from our embrace. After we'd calmed down, we spent a good ten minutes hoping our throats won't continue on being sore from all the impossible shouting.

"If I let you go, are you going to just go to Josie's and sleep it off?"

Harry's eyebrows pull closer. His eyes are still quite bloodshot and clearly exhausted as he wearily blinks. "What? You're not coming?"

"No," I shrugged, biting down on my bottom lip. "I'll have my sleep here tonight, but I'll be back by Christmas."

"Why don't you come now?" The worry in his eyes is evident.

"Hey, I'm not gonna disappear," I try to joke, but Harry only frowns deeper and I sigh, pulling my arms from around him. "I just need to spend some time by myself."

"Listen, if this is about what just happened, I re-"

"It's not," I cut him off, shaking my head then looking down at my lap. "Not completely, anyway. Just with everything that has been happening...with Margaret...and Cecilia telling me to-" I take a deep breath and try to muster the best smile I could for him. "I'm just a little shaken up. I normally just need myself and my diary when that happens."