Poems of Honesty and Humility

Missing Emerald

Missing Emerald

-

golden laughter ringing

through dim lit hallways, singing.

beauty and brown eyes,

movie screens into fields of tulips and blue skies.

colors dance in her eyes,

her spirit always to rise.

she, the one to never ask why,

but to always find her own way to fly.

her mind creating a world of wonder,

fireworks colored rainbow, flowers swaying, smiles of rays, a world to come by.

-

I became used to the perfection of that smiling face,

joking nature, and wide eyes.

things I suppose I never before placed

in my mind, the things I should not have so easily over-looked.

I never before realized what, with not much in return, I took.

the privilege of her existence in my life that I never truly thought of 

until the things I forgot of

were an inch from the edge, to be lost from me.

-

now the world is nothing but the smell 

the smell of disinfectant, rubber, and dry-erase markers.

the sound of fingertips tapping on armrests, and a silent, steady beeping.

the vision of wires, tubes, and eyes unseeing.

the feel of a head reeling as her mind slips back in forth through an unconscious state

trying to fight an unneccesary fate.

-

maybe if I had made the car get me here sooner

I would have less time to imagine if we were to lose her.

now I look down at a bundle of wires,

a matrix of anesthetics, a spider web to lessen the feeling of fire.

a pale face

and twisted sheets, placed without grace.

I watch where a line dances across the screen

and I wait through the minutes, umpteen.

what if the line had stopped moving,

nothing they could say then would be soothing.

-

A smile finds its way across her pale face

and laughter will ring golden again,

a warm space in a cold place.

a heartbeat echoes strong through the room,

and tears are held back.

an embrace is given

and a sigh of relief echoes from here to the moon.

-

I forget the phone call that brought me here,

the threatening tears,

and all of my fears.

she is safe here.

I no longer have a single doubt as she smiles again,

jokes told in a groggy sound,

normalcy found.

-

soon we will leave this place 

and go back to where we were before.

back to the place where laughter will ring

through dim lit hallways, singing.

beauty and brown eyes,

movie screens into fields of tulips and blue skies.

colors will again dance in her eyes,

her spirit always to rise.

she, the one to never ask why,

but to always find her own way to fly.

her mind creating a world of wonder,

fireworks colored rainbow, flowers swaying, smiles of rays, a world to come by.

-

and this time I will not forget

to be thankful for the things I get

because I will always have the memory in the back of my mind

of hospital beds, and blood stains on a pillow

to remind

that there was a time

when everything was almost lost.

-

now I promise to cherise every moment we get

like it's the last moment we'll get

because don't you forget

that I could not survive not being able to get

the rest of forever with my best friend.

-

-

-Lindsay