A/N: Does anyone here happen to be good at drawing people?
***
Eruva: Hello, Meepleepers!
Dess: Welcome to Day 1 of the ILP Olympics!
Eruva: Today, we have two very exciting events- gymnastics and archery!
Dess: ...why are we holding them in the same room? At the same time?
Eruva: Because Sockmuffin's fire spread pretty much everywhere, and we have band tomorrow, so we'll be missing a day.
*Dess and Eruva both give a thumbs-up to the camera, along with an overly big smile*
Dess: Participating in gymnastics today, we have... *clears throat* Arwen, Ruby, Ginny, Jelly, and...Ruby.
Eruva: Both Rubys? That won't be confusing at all!
Dess: Nope!
Eruva: And in archery, we have Crowley, Legolas, Ron, and Jeff.
Dess: No Remnant?
Eruva: Well, Canty kiiinda sorta ate Ren.
Dess: *sighs* CANTY, REGENERATE HIM
Canty: Fiiine...
Ren: *regenerates*
Dess: Whoop! Anyways, on with the gymnastics!
Eruva: (in deep voice) And Arwen Undomiel from Middle-Earth steps up to the vault.
Dess: WHERE'S THE MICROPHONE?
Eruva: IT'S GONE! And she runs up...
Arwen: *does a really cool flip that would be even better if I actually knew the name of it*
Eruva: AND SHE STICKS THE LANDING!
Dess: Looks like she's standing strong at a score of- wait, who's judging this?
Eruva: ...are we?
Dess: I don't know how to judge this...
Eruva: Um...
*technical difficulties*
Dess: We're back!
Eruva: We don't really have a great way of judging these things. Dess and I are not athletes.
Dess: So, I looked some stuff up, and hopefully, this'll work!
Eruva: (back to the deep voice) And that leaves Arwen with a score of... 14.936? *whispers to readers* Am I doing this right?
Dess: Why can't this just be a 1-10 thing?
Eruva: MOVING ON,
Dess: And it looks like Demon Ruby is preforming a... um... *flips through book of terminology...* She did a... *throws book aside* Jump-flip-twist thing!
Eruva: *slaps forehead*
Dess: That puts her at a score of 8!
Eruva: DESS, THIS IS NOT A 1-10 SYSTEM
Dess: IT IS NOW!
*a little while later*
Eruva: And our final standings are: RWBY Ruby with... wait, what the heck?
Dess: What?
Eruva: *holds up paper* How many different point systems did we use?
Dess: ...all of them?
Eruva: Well, we have RWBY Ruby with a B+, Arwen with 14.936, Demon Ruby with 8, Ginny with "green arrow", and Jelly with "not too bad, actually, considering she doesn't have arms or legs".
Dess: So...who won?
Eruva: I don't know, but Jelly just grabbed the gold medal and ran.
Dess: DANG IT, JELLY!
Eruva: So...um...We'll give bronze to Ginny. Ginny's nice.
Ginny: Thank you!
Dess: And silver to Arwen, because it matches her outfit.
Arwen: *puts medal on and looks all elvish and stuff* (<--best sentence ever!)
Eruva: Unfortunately, since they were going on at the same time, we were unable to film the archery.
Dess: But we CAN tell you what happened!
Eruva: Ron almost missed the target but didn't, Crowley almost hit the center, but on the wrong target, Jeff ran around trying to shoot the other contestants, Ren actually hit dead center, and Legolas pulled a Merida and shot a bulls-eye in everyone's target, and split Ren's down the middle.
Dess: LEGGI!
Eruva: EVERYONE HERE IS A LOST CAUSE.
