Dess: *playing ukulele* Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way!
Jeff: DESS! WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN???
Canty: and when did you get a ukulele?
Dess: For Christmas??? And come on, it's not like I haven't updated in two months. *checks my Wattpad book list* oh...well...um...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Jeff, Canty, Sockmuffin, Terry, Sue, and Jelly: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Dess: Well, since I'M SUCH A GOOD PERSON, I got you all presents!
Narrator: Dess had spent most of her Christmas break eating, selling her soul to Marvel, making last-minute presents for her family because she is very broke, playing various instruments, and forgetting about ILP entirely.
Dess: Hey! Stop that!
Narrator: In fact, she only used her power as the author to suddenly make gifts for Jeff and Enemies appear.
Dess: stOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL
Narrator: I will once you write that 4-month overdue closing ceremony for the ILP Olympics.
Jeff: And something about Halloween! I love Halloween, I get an excuse to chase after people and try to eat them.
Sue: And Thanksgiving! I WANNA MOW SOME TURKEY
Dess: *laughs nervously* well...JUST TAKE YOUR PRESENTS
Jeff: Ooh, I got...a pack of freshly sharpened knives!
Dess: WHAT? I didn't put that in there!
Narrator: I did. Just trying to give you some motivation. :)
Jeff: How do you pronounce :) ?
Jelly: The same way you pronounce (: , but with different emphasis.
Dess: MOVING ON! Terry, the next one is for you!
Terry: *opens the box and a flash of light bursts out* Is this...a Unismaug???
Sue: I GOT ONE TOO!
Jelly: ME TOOOOOOOOOOOO
Sockmuffin! ME TOO! COME, UNISMAUG, HELP ME SET FIRE TO THE EARTH!
Canty: and I set fiiiiiiiiiire to the raiiiiiiiin
Jeff: Watched it burn as I touched your face
Canty: Well, it burned while I cried because I DIDN'T GET A PRESENT
Terry: Did you get a past? Or a future?
*crickets chirp*
Terry: No one appreciates me...
Dess: Don't worry, Canty, I got you something too.
Canty: It's...a scarf? Can cantaloupes wear scarves?
Dess: They can if they try.
Canty: ...okay?
Dess: Alright, now that everyone has a present, WHO WANTS TO SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS?!!??!
Jeff: Not me.
Canty: Definitely not.
Terry: I'd really rather ride my Unismaug...
Sue: Nope
Sockmuffin: lol no
Jelly: I'm good thanks
Narrator: Dess was very sad that no one wanted to sing Christmas carols with her-
Dess: SHUT UP
Narrator: -but everyone knew that she was going to retreat into her room and play ukulele for two hours straight.
Dess: More like two hours BI am I right???
*crickets chirp*
Dess: No one appreciates me...
------------
Failed celebrations with Jeff and Enemies aside, Merry Christmas to all of you lovely meepleepers!!! (those of you who are still here because I'm a horrible person who never updates whoops)
Well, hopefully I'll be able to make a huge holiday lump of everything I've missed, just let me know what fandoms (and/or ships) you'd like in it! (preferably from the list on my profile because I don't want to screw up any fandom I don't know and make y'all suffer)
