Treat you better| S.M

Chapter 24

5 years later
•Shawn's Pov•
Clarissa never made it out of the delivery room. Well she did but instead of her lively, bubbly self coming out only a lifeless, pale Clarissa came out. I still cry my eyes out every night, but every day I cried a little less. Until Charlie brung up the fact that all the girls at her pre-K have mommy and she dosent. That day was possibly just as bad as the day I lost Clarissa and the few days after.

Charlie is always asking what happened to mommy but I just can't bring myself to tell her. I really can barley say her name, how am I supposed to tell my 5 year old that mommy died to give birth to her. That mommy is never coming back and that she's the reason why. Don't get me wrong Charlie is my life. My everything and I would not blame Clarissa's death on her. But don't ever make me choose between Charlie and Clarissa I don't think I could ever do so. I would rather drive a knife through my heart. I know that Clarissa is looking down on me and smiling at me because I'm doing an okay job for a single parent.

Clarissa and I were going to pick the baby's name after she was born but obviously that never happened. Clarissa always said that she wanted her name to be Charlotte. So I figured it would be a great name to name her. I had them decided to call her Charlie just so she didn't remind me too much of Clarissa but of course it didn't really work. Charlie looks exactly like my dear Clarissa. Charlie is a living breathing portrait of her. And some days it kills me to even look at her face because all I see is Clarissa.

4 years ago, after 1 year of mourning one of my friends had the balls to tell me that I should move on from Clarissa and be a man. That she no longer needs to see my tears and that crying and mourning helps nothing, I simply responded with " Clarissa is the love of my life. I had loved her since the day I layed eyes on her. Clarissa deserves every tear that has dropped from my face, and no ass hole will ever tell me when it's time to let go of Clarissa. She was supposed to grow old but sadly it didn't end that way. Some how she died be fore me it was supposed to be the other way around, so I owe everything to her. I have loved her for what feels like a million years, and I will love her for a million more. Clarissa will never leave my thoughts she will forever be my best friend and wife. The only reason j haven't killed myself to be with her is because of my most precious possession my daughter, Charlie. I will let death come to me when it is supposed to. Because Charlie deserves everything Clarissa and I didn't have. I made a promise to Clarissa I would give our daughter what Clarissa didn't have and I will fulfill that fucking promise if it's the last thing I do. So please never EVER tell me when I need to let go of my wife, that is my desiocn not you you bastard!"

Let's just say we are no longer friends.