It's progress | tronnor

The truth

Caspar pov:
While having a shower before going to school I thought about Connor and Troye. How they were so close to each other yesterday but there's nothing going on between them right? Why can't Joe and I be like that? I don't understand. I get out of the shower and grab my towel wrapping it around my waist. I walk out the door towards my bedroom.
"Good morning Caspar," says my mum walking towards me.
"Morning mum," I say as I walk into my room and shut the door. I get changed into a plain white t-shirt and blue shorts. I put on my converse and grab my bag. I head to the kitchen.
"Hi Caspar," my older sister, Theo, says as I walk into the room.
"Hi," I say walking past her. I grab a banana from the fruit bowl.
"Hi sweetheart," mum says drinking her cup of tea as I kiss her on the head.
"Sorry mum I'm walking to school today," I say as I walk towards the door.
"Ok casp I'll see you when you get home," mum says when I get to the door.
"Ok bye," I say walking out the door.

As I'm walking to school I think about our bay. The different types of relationships through it.

When I arrive at school the bell rings. I walk a bit faster just to get to the cafeteria to meet Joe. When I get to the cafeteria Joe is sitting by himself, waiting for me. I smile as he looks up at me. He smiles when he realises it's me.
"Hey buddy sorry I'm late," I say as I walk over to him.
"All good I didn't want to go to English anyway," he says laughing walking towards me. I laugh. "Come on," he says. We walk off to English.

Is this wrong to feel this way? It's not what everyone would call 'normal'? Should I just move on? But you're always on my mind. I just love your brown hair, the colour of your eyes and the way you smile. I'd love to hold your hand and eat pizza at 3am, maybe watch you fall asleep. I love the way you walk, the way you talk and how you're shorter than me. You're too funny and I don't understand why I can't get over your smile. I want to be more than a friend but I know you don't feel the same. I think about you all the time and I must admit I wish you were mine.
"Caspar!" Joe whisper/yells snapping me out of my deep thought.
"What?" I say quietly, frowning at him.
"Are you alright bro?" He asks softly looking concerned.
"I'm fine," I lie looking away.
"Well you didn't look fine. Bro you looked like you were about to cry," Joe whispers still looking concerned.
"I said I'm fine," I whisper bluntly. I try to concentrate on what we were doing in class but it wasn't working. All I could think about was him.
10 minutes later, after silence between Joe and I, the bell rang. We quickly pick up all our stuff and walk out the door.

Joes pov:
While walking down the hall I couldn't help thinking about Caspar. I didn't know what was going on with him. He's starting to worry me.
"Yo Caspar what happened in there?" I ask.
"Nothing," he says bluntly not looking at me.
"Casp," I say grabbing arm so he would stop. He stops and looks at me. He didn't look like his usual self. There was something else I could see in his eyes. Something that I've only seen a few times and that's been lately but today it was worse. "You know you can tell me if there's something wrong, right?" I say still looking into his eyes.
"Yeah," he says, his eyes leaving mine and looking at the floor.
"So what's up?" I say.
"I can't tell you Joe, it's the only thing I can't tell you," he sighs.
"What is so bad that you can't tell me?" I say. I just want to know what's wrong so I can help him. I don't like seeing him like this. I want to make sure he's happy.
"You'll hate me," he say sounding upset.
"Oh come on Casp, I promise I won't hate you," I say rubbing his arm. And that's the truth I could never hate him.
"It's you Joe," he says quietly.
"What?" I say frowning.
"It's always been you," He continues quietly.
"Wait wha-" I say but Caspar cuts me off.
"I love you and you don't even notice!" He yells before storming off. I was in suck a shock I blacked out. Caspar loves me? Since when? I stumbled backwards and hit the lockers behind me. I lean against them and slowly fell to the ground. With my knees up to my chest I put my head in my hands. How could I have not seen this? I was trying so hard to fight my feelings when he was doing the same. He thinks I don't notice him when he's all that's on my mind. I start crying into my hands.