Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
Ayyyyy I'm hanging with Milo and out newest recruit Salem. It's 4:47 in the morning and we're all chilling in the basement. Anyways, Salem is going to be the one handling any Sues that you guys own. She wants the absolute worst that you have to offer, so don't be afraid to put one of your own Mary Sues on the chopping block. I know Milo and I will be giving her a few personal creations. Honestly, we've been receiving way more requests than we ever thought we'd get. Milo and I expected to have only a handful of followers by now, not twenty-freaking-one. I'm just amazed so many people like to spectate our trash killings of Wattpad's worst.
Anyways, today I will be slicing up a Sue recommended to us by SirPenguinlots. The title of the piece is New girl in narutos world by kittensrox99. I'd like to give a little disclaimer before we start. This author is not eight years old. Her bio says she's sixteen. That was 2013, so we're looking at a nineteen year old here. The story was last updated in 2015, so she was eighteen during that time. Just keep that in mind while reading this.
I'll make sure to wrap this one up in a nice, red bow SirPenguinlots.
For the sake of brevity I'll be skipping the summary and disclaimer in order to jump into Chapter 1.
EIRIAN'S P.O.V
I was walking home from school with my bestfriend Kate.
"I hate school so much" said Kate. i replayed " i know you have said that a thousand times today".
"Yeah but doesn't that show how much I hate it" she laughed.
"well it doesn't matter it is almost summer we only have tomorrow the we have all them free days filled with sun, tans and beaches".
"And boys don't forget the boys. this summer I'm gonna find myself a hot boyfriend."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I have never regretted taking a request as much as I do right now. There's no way someone wrote this when they were sixteen. This has to be a copy and paste of old work the author did. I have never seen so many mechanics errors. Literally ever. Capitalizing your "I's" is something you learn in second grade. Please do that. "Replayed" should be "replied", punctuation is missing, and the capitalization of new sentences is overlooked.
This is going to be one nasty Sue.
Kate then lost herself in a daydream of her future boyfriend i just laughed because she started to drool.
"Kate Kate wake up before you flood the dam street i don't know how you can get so caught up with boys".
"I don't know how your not caught up with boys i mean your 13 and have never had a boyfriend, for gods sake you don't even like the hottest celebrities" Kate yelled.
