Yes indeed YES INDEED! A Naruto fanfic has been chosen for our first critique. Naruto was the first anime we watched so it only seemed appropriate. We'll be scouring Wattpad for gut-wrenching Mary Sues to add to this book of atrocities. So prepare y...
HELLOOOO. GUESS WHAT CHINA HAS DONE? No more VPN kids, meaning no Wattpad for me. I also haven't been able to talk to Milo for two months. I have no data either.
MILO BABY I'M ALIVE. YOU BETTER READ THIS GOD DAMMIT. I MISS YOUR APPLE JUICE LOOKIN' ASS.
Fuck.
On the bright side, I've completed an English teaching internship at a Fortune 500 company. No idea how that happened, but I'm not going to question it.
China is amazing. Extremely surprised at things here. I'm sure I'll add a section about it in my Trash Tanuki Talks book. Lots of shitty tourist pictures coming right up.
Meanwhile, here's Kane from the future! It's September now. Fuck me. Milo has some BIG news but I'll leave it up to Milo to tell. It explains why Milo has been gone for so long. Hint hint, Milo's definitely not single.
Alllllllright. It's time to get back to business here. I did not expect to get so many messages and comments while I've been away. Milo about lost his mind when we last spoke. I still have our initial list of suggestions and the users who recommended them. You're not forgotten, I swear. Today's review, however, is an emergency killing. I was reading it before I left and needed two days to recover some brain cells. The name of this lovely story is If Our Roles Reversed by UchihaMax21 and it's also suggested by UchihaMax21. BIG NOTE: English is not their first language, they are from Jordan, so that'll explain most of the basic spelling errors that I tried not to dwell on. It's... uh... very unique. Won a special place in my heart. Basically Naruto and Sasuke switch roles, with Naruto leaving the village and following the path Sasuke did. Interesting idea if executed carefully. Fair warning, this story is written in huge clumps of text. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was night time, cold air was flowing around the place, the village hidden in the leaves was quite at night, people were either having dinner, sleeping, celebrating, but there is one mischievous boy who was active this night, you knew him, he was Naruto Uzumaki, He was a 12 year old child who hadn't graduated and became a genin, because he failed on the test were he is supposed to bring out 3 effective shadow clones. ... ... ...
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This is how Sakumo dies guys. Not poison. He read that sentence/paragraph monster and just noped the fuck outta existence. Just said "OH. NO THANK YOU." and dropped dead. Secretly Kakashi wrote this fanfiction and now lives with the constant guilt of it. Ever wonder why he loves Makeout Paradise so much? He wants to go out the way his dad did; reading trash novella.
Did I ruin your childhood? If not, I'll get better. I'm working out my "Destroy Fond Character Plot" muscle.
Anyways, commas are not periods. They're not. I'd switch the first, sixth, and eighth comma with periods. Get rid of the second comma and "around the place". Just say Village Hidden in the Leaves. "Quite" is supposed to be "quiet", "became" should be "become", and "were" is supposed to be "where".
