1 | Star Wars Rebels: Beginning Of The End (completed)

Part 3

Rebel Fleet, aboard the Ghost, 1234, 3278 LY

     Zeb, one of the last Lasat remaining, walked into Kanan Jarrus' room. Kanan knew this because of the swish of the door and the tension he brought to the air. Kanan raised an eyebrow curiously, but Zeb hadn't seen it. Something was wrong, and knowing things lately, it had to do with Ezra. ''Kanan?''

     The Knight nodded, cocking his head. Zeb continued, ''Ezra locked himself in our room. I can't get in.'' Kanan sighed; of course he was right. Of course it was Ezra. ''I think something's wrong. I heard sniffling.'' 

     Of course, this got Kanan's attention. He stood up, turning toward Zeb, walking quickly to the door. If it's Ezra, and he's crying, something's definitely wrong. Terribly wrong if it has to do with Ezra. This made him walk faster in fear for the boy he loved as a son. Stopping at Ezra's door, Kanan knocked on it. ''Ezra,'' he called.

     Ezra answered, ''Go away, Kanan. Please.'' Kanan exchanged a baffled look with Zeb, who shrugged in return. If Ezra wanted him to go away, he was deeply upset about something. ''You don't want to see what I have become.'' That set off warning bells in his mind, and his stomach dropped. This was bad, real bad. He sensed anguish, guilt, fear, and anger coming from Ezra. ''I don't want to see what I've done.''

     ''Ezra, Ezra open this door now,'' Kanan called. He punched in the door code, but it didn't open. ''Zeb, open the door.'' Zeb attempted to with brute strength, but the door wouldn't budge. He sensed Ezra using the Force to hold it shut. Shaking his head, he pounded on the door. ''Ezra!'' he yelled, but there was no answer. Muttering a curse, he pulled out his lightsaber. Hera will kill him for this.

     Suddenly, before Kanan plunged the blue blade into the door, there was a sniffle, and Ezra answered, ''I can't do this anymore, Kanan.'' Things were escalating quickly, and it was taking a turn for the worst. ''Thank you for teaching me and taking a worthless street rat like me in. But I can't handle this anymore, I hate what I've done, what I've become. I hate what's happened to you.'' Another sniffle.

     ''Karabast,'' Zeb muttered from behind him. Ezra was down-spiraling quickly into a pit of despair, one Kanan was afraid he couldn't save his Padawan from. That was what worried him. He wanted Ezra to accept his help, to realize he's not alone. He wanted his Padawan to realize that he was there, and he would be all the way. The problem was Ezra taking his hand and letting Kanan help him.

     Kanan called again, ''Ezra, we can work this out. It doesn't have to come to this. I'm here for you, I will be here for you. We can go through this together. You're one of the toughest people I know, and you're not worthless; you're far from it. Open the door, and I can help you.'' Yes, he was pleading. Yes, he hoped Ezra opened the door. And yes, he was saying nothing but the truth. ''I don't blame you for any of this. None of it whatsoever.''

     ''Kanan, you're wrong,'' Ezra growled. ''I'm not strong enough. I've fought my demons for as long as I could, but even fighting them with you won't help. Soon, they'll wear you out and drown you. I can't let that happen to you, too. I have to stop this. I'm sorry.'' 

     Realization dawned on Kanan, and his face fell. With a yell, he plunged his lightsaber into the door, creating a circle as fast as he could into the material. He had to go as fast as he could before Ezra did something terrible. He used the Force to push the circle out of the door, then he used the Force to see into the room. He saw Ezra's form with his vest off and a utility knife in his hands. 

     The Knight used the Force to grab the knife, put it on his belt, and push Ezra against the wall. ''Kanan!'' Ezra yelled. ''I told you I didn't want you to see me like this!'' He felt Ezra reach for something, and immediately grabbed his Padawan's lightsaber, then hooked both lightsabers to his belt. He then let Ezra go, who fell onto the bunk on his hands and knees, then began to cry, completely letting the tears he was holding back go. 

     ''I couldn't just stand out there and know that my Padawan is plunging a knife into himself.'' Seeing Ezra cry, Kanan walked over to him and held his arms open. Ezra crawled over to him, laying his head on Kanan's chest while the Knight hugged him and lied his head on his Padawan's head. He whispered, ''It's okay, Ezra, you're okay. I'm here. I won't leave you. You're my Padawan, we can get through this together.'' 

     Dimly, Kanan was aware of Zeb standing uncertainly on the other side of the door. Ezra sobbed, ''I-I'm...sorry, K-Kanan.'' He only brought the shattered kid closer in his embrace, letting the boy cry his heart out until there were no more tears to shed. As a Master, he would be there for Ezra until the very end. As a father-like figure, he would be there when Ezra broke, to catch him when he fell. ''I-I'm...so s-s-sorry.''

      ''Promise me you won't do it again,'' Kanan growled, holding Ezra by the shoulders. He wasn't mad at all; he was scared for his beloved Padawan's safety. If he could cry, he would probably be on the verge of it as he growled at his broken son. ''Promise me, Ezra.''

     Ezra's voice and body began to become weak as he replied, ''Kanan, I sw-'' He was cut off when his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his head lolled back and his body fell back. Kanan caught his limp body and pulled the unconscious kid into his arms. He smelled the tang of blood and realized that Ezra's left arm was bleeding from a deep gash. ''Oh, Ezra, why?''

     A voice at the doorway startled the already saddened Kanan. ''Kanan Jarrus, what in the blazes is-'' Hera shouted before she saw Ezra and Kanan sitting on Zeb's bunk and saw Ezra's bleeding arm. He heard her gasp in shock. 

     He turned his head towards Hera, and pleaded, ''Help me carry him to the medbay please.'' Hera nodded, then walked over to Kanan and grabbed underneath Ezra's armpits, half-dragging the limp boy, letting Kanan get up to grab Ezra's legs, then they carried the limp fifteen-year-old towards the medbay. 

     Halfway there, Sabine ran into them and asked, ''I heard commotion. Is-?'' When she caught sight of Ezra, she gasped. ''No. What happened?'' 

     Kanan and Hera kept carrying Ezra while Zeb answered, ''Kanan knows all of it. All I know is that one moment, Ezra held a knife, and the next, he was crying while Kanan had their lightsabers and the knife. Quite a bit of it happened too fast for me.''

     ''Hera, we need to talk,'' Kanan growled after they put Ezra in the bed. ''Privately.''

     ''What is it, love?'' Hera questioned once everyone had left the medbay. Kanan was pretty sure they were on the other end trying to find out from Kanan what exactly happened. He didn't care at this point, he just needed guidance from Hera, who was wise herself and often gave him answers when he was clueless.

     He sighed. ''The holocron. It's changing him. It's destroying him.'' Hera raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to continue as she wrapped Ezra's knife slash in a bandage. ''He tried to kill himself, Hera. He told me that he'd fought his demons for as long as he could. That he couldn't drag me into it, that he had to end it. That's when I used my lightsaber to open the door and found him with a knife in his hands. I disarmed him, and he broke.''

     Hera's eyes were wide, and Kanan heard gasps on the other side of the door. She inquired, ''Are you sure it has to do with the holocron?'' Kanan nodded. ''Dear, I think you're exaggerating a little bit. He was pretty depressed when we met him. Remember?''

     ''Yes,'' Kanan grunted. ''This is different. He's never tried this before.''

     ''You have to be there for him,'' Hera urged. ''Catch him when he falls, try to steer him right. He needs you now more than he ever did.''

     Kanan sighed, ''Hera, I've been there. He refuses me.''

     ''Then stay with him. He'll come around, he'll accept your help. Eventually.'' Hera looked back at the peaceful form of Ezra as Kanan thought, I hope so.  

''The secrets in that thing almost destroyed you.''