The Anatomy of Cross-Dimensional Pirates (One-shot Collection)

Snails Are Cute

Request: Lexi reacts to Law's Den Den Mushi

Requested By: geckogal077

"Soo cuuuttteee!" Lexi squeed, eyes filled with stars as she stared at the little snail phone sitting on Law's table. The snail in question sported a very unamused look on it's face underneath the brim of it's tiny spotted hat, courtesy of the grumpy Captain on the other end of the line. It sighed, it's eyes rolling in impatience.

"Lexi-ya, please pay attention." The Heart Pirates Captain was currently out and about purchasing supplies for when they departed for the next island, but Lexi was told to stay in Law's quarters until he returned, as her injuries still hadn't fully healed and it hurt to move around too much.

The brunette was kneeling on the floor in front of the desk, the cuteness overload leaving her unable to stand without jumping up and down in excitement. She fawned over the little creature, cocking her head.

It had only been a few weeks after following Law and his men into this new world, and she was still learning the ropes. Since Law had been one of the only ones to visit her for the majority of the time while she stayed in the infirmary healing up, she had yet to experience most of the mundane things this world had to offer. Like these tiny talking snails with numbers and small receivers in their backs for calling people. And morphed into the facial features of whoever was on the other end. Neat.

"How does it do that? It looks just like you! All grumpy and adorable!" She reached over to rub the shell, oblivious of the deadpan stare the snail gave her in return.

"Lexi-ya." It stated evenly.

"What? I can't help it!" She chuckled, setting her arms on the desk and resting her cheek on top. "You need to call me more often so I can see your face on this adorable snail phone thing. What's it called again?"

The snail sighed, it's tiny little stubs for arms rubbing its head in exasperation. "It's a den-den mushi. Now stop talking and pay attention for one moment. Please." He added emphatically, it's teeth gritting in frustration. Chuckling at his annoyed expression, she rolled her eyes.

"Alright, alright. What's up?"

"I need you to check and see if I already have a few medical books. Go to the bookshelf and I'll read you a few of the titles."

"Roger that!" She saluted, picking up the little snail phone gingerly and walking over to Law's massive bookshelf, bolted to the steel walls so they wouldn't fall off during back seas.

"Ok, go ahead." She signaled, and the snail nodded, eyes suddenly downcast as it looked to it's hands.

"Guide to Physical Examination and History Taking."

"Hmm..." She muttered, scanning the many books for anything similar. After a moment she shook her head. "Nope, I don't see it here."

Law's snail nodded and moved it's hands, probably handling the many medical books he was carrying. "Essentials of Pathophysiology."

"...Yeah, it's here."

"Diagnostic Imaging of the Brain."

"Umm...Nope." As she searched, she began to see a trend in the titles lining the shelves. "Do you really put them by order of the body system they pertain to?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes, it makes finding a particular volume faster." He said absentmindedly, the snail's hands still moving around. "Last one. Atlas of Normal Roentgen Variants That May Simulate Disease."

"Jeez, that's a mouthful." Again, she looked through the whole shelf, since that particular book would be difficult to place. "Nothing I can find."

"Then that is all I need." He looked back up to her, the eyes rimmed with circles just as her Captain's were. She pouted, seeing the distinction. He really needed more sleep. Though, he did look kind of mysterious with them...Hmm, what a dilemma.

"Did I ever tell you that you have a cute face?" She grinned, waggling her eyebrows. The snail raised a brow, shaking it's head.

"More than once, and more than enough times. How many times do I have to tell you that pirates aren't supposed to be 'cute?'" He sighed deeply, closing it's eyes as if hoping she would just stop talking. Then, Lexi had a thought, and ignoring his question she looked up to the ceiling, a finger rubbing at her bottom lip.

"Hey, with these snail phones that show your face...I bet phone sex would be a lot more interesting that way." She mused aloud, glancing down at the snail, grinning widely at it's shocked and slightly embarrassed expression. It was almost unheard of for Law to be flustered, but seeing the slight pink tinge to the snail's face was so worth it!

Since becoming a member of the strange little pirate crew, she'd certainly gained a more adventurous personality, the part of her she'd always wanted to show through but never felt like it was appropriate to in her home world. But, the craziness of these pirates really fit her new boldness, and teasing the Captain was her new favorite pastime, as she'd come to realize. She chuckled, as he opened his mouth only to close it again, unsure of how to respond. "Anyways, I'll leave you to your shopping! Have fun! And hurry back so I can see your adorable face again!"

"Lexi-ya, stop-" He started, but she simply placed the receiver back on the snail's shell, the eyes drooping and returning to it's sleeping state. She burst into laughter, recalling the exasperated expression on it's face with fondness. Oh, she could get used to this world.

Law stared at the den den mushi, eyebrow twitching. The green eyes of the snail closed with a small 'gatcha.' She had hung up. Before he could lecture her for calling him cute, once again. He sighed again, willing the faint blush from her unexpected revelation to leave his cheeks.

That woman, he'd never understand her. Shaking his head, he tucked the den den mushi into his jacket pocket, clutching the medical books he didn't own and headed towards the front register, hoping that the man behind it hadn't heard their discussion from the aisle towards the back of the store. From the knowing grin on the old man's face, it seemed he had.

Law resorted to glaring his way, placing the books onto the counter.

Still, a part of him mused, she had a point. He'd never really thought about it before. But...

His casual smirk returned as he paid for his books and left.

Perhaps he'd have to test out her theory one day. Preferably with the brunette involved, of course. It was her idea, after all.