Guardian (Sequel to Fearless)

Chapter Twenty Three

Warning: Macabre content. Read at your own risk. I am serious.

Twelve. Cricket was twelve years old now. She felt so much older than that now, though. This year.... it had aged her tenfold. As she watched the sky from the balcony her and her friends shared, she wondered what it would be like to just jump off it and fall to her death. Wordlessly, she squinted her eyes to stare directly at the dawning sun. What a beautiful last sight to see --the new day. It would be a serene death. Quietly, the young girl climbed clumsily onto the railings, ready to free herself.

She stood there for so many minutes, just contemplating. Surely the pain of the fall was nothing compared to her life --nothing compared to being routinely violated and taken against her consent. Cricket found she was gathering her courage to just jump. One second of fearlessness --that was all she needed. And then, she'd be free of everything. One second. One breath. And then no more breaths.

"You think about it too?" came a quiet whisper from behind her. Cricket nearly fell from being startled, but managed to keep her balance. Sunny grabbed her hand, pulling her back to life on the balcony's cold stone. Sunny just watched her friend helplessly, not knowing what to say anymore. Cricket looked Sunny up and down, noticing for the what had to be the hundredth time how her lanky legs contrasted heavily with the rounded belly she now sported --that they all sported.

Pregnant. How wrong it felt to be with child at such a young age. Her, Sunny, and Elizabeth were all pregnant.

How unfair it was that Cricket had to be responsible for another life when she couldn't even bear the weight of her own. Sunny pulled her friend in for a hug, and the both of them just took comfort in the other person's presence. They were all each other had anymore. When Elizabeth had told them last year to run before they bled --oh how Cricket wished she had taken that advice.

"You're too beautiful to die," Sunny told Cricket. "Inside and out, you're the most beautiful person I know. Please don't give up... I need you." The girl paused for a second. "Our children need us too."

Beautiful. Cricket hated that word. It was the reason she was here. When she had bled, Cricket had become the living embodiment of a flawless woman. Her long curls were shiny, and her teeth came in pearly and straight. Her form was tall, curvy, and feminine; her petal-lips were plush and dark. She was perfect. Oh, Cricket hated that word too. That 'perfection' was why she had endured so much. She didn't want to be perfect or beautiful, she wanted to be ugly enough that nobody would ever want to touch her again.

"I don't want to be here today," Cricket whispered. "The baron and his army-men come back soon. I would do anything to be anywhere else --I would even die."

"But your baby." Sunny had found comfort in the infant that she carried, and Cricket found that commendable --but she couldn't help but hate the mass inside her own abdomen.

"What if they're girls, Sunny? You think you'll clutch her to her breast until she grows into adulthood and then send her to a loving husband?" Cricket asked. "No. I don't think this ends happy, not even when the baby is born. I'm not sure if any of our children wouldn't be better off never being born."

Sunny ducked her head. "Then jump." Her voice cracked. "I'll do it with you. But you have to go first. I'm too scared to go first."

"Me too," Cricket finally admitted.

The only one of the three girls that was brave enough to die was Elizabeth. The only reason their eldest friend stayed around was to protect them in any way she could. Elizabeth was due very soon, being the farthest along of the three. Cricket had about three months before her child made its appearance, and Sunny was a month behind her.