The Laws of Paxia

3. Everything is different now

Chapter Three

Everything is different now

  Another rainy day, another thunder threat and a headache that refuses to go away.

  Jake’s visit yesterday didn’t make me feel better at all. He wants to get together with me again but I’m not interested in that anymore. I don’t know when I will be ready for a relationship again when the thought of it turns me off. I used to date a lot and I was waiting to get older so I could start dating Jake without having to hide it from Keith. He is just not the same Jake anymore and I am not the same Meryl.

  I spend too much time thinking inside the house. At least it is quiet and everyone is at school. I spend my mornings watching TV without fighting over the channels and eating ice cream. If only ice-cream could cure my depression. It’s pathetic how sorry I feel for myself. Living like this makes me pay more attention to things I never noticed before.

  I spend some of my time cleaning up the mess my dear family leaves behind. I have become their personal maid without them even knowing it. They don’t reflect over the fact that the house is tidier now. Well it is the least I can do to help. I used to be so selfish and mostly focused on my own life like no one else was as important as me. I was a star on the rise and had the whole world coming my way.

  I need to stop thinking about it! I am tired of ramble the same things in my head day after day. I swear it is starting to drive me insane.

  I miss my legs. I miss them terribly. Jake just made it worse by his stupid comment. What did he mean? Would I really be able to walk in Paxia? That is a question that really would make me change my mind about the whole topic if it is true. I’m afraid that I will start to believe in it and turn into some lunatic.

  I giggle at my own thoughts. I really need to see my friends some more. I just need to go out through the door and down the road. I look at the door for almost half an hour. I am trying to find the courage to leave the house but I start shaking every time my hand reaches for the doorknob.

  What if my fear never disappears? Will I be stuck in this house forever, never being able to go out on my own?

  My throat is sore and I feel exhausted. A sudden knock on the door startles me and I quickly open it to find mom’s favourite neighbour on the porch.

  “Hello dear!” Jenna greets me happily, wearing one of her long flowing dresses over her chubby body. Her hair is deep orange and completely untameable. “Where is my lovely little Dilly?”

  Dilly comes running and jumps up and down excitedly while Jenna is putting a leash on her. Dilly puts her nose on my knee as goodbye before leaving the house with my neighbour.

  Jenna is a housewife and always took care of our pets during the day and vacations. I am just happy we know someone who wants to do that favour for us. I don’t like when Dilly is on her walks, the house feels empty without her.

  I roll back to the living room where I left the TV on and the news is airing.

  “We find no explanation how a statue of that size can disappear in the first place without anyone noticing it. Our belief is that it is a part of Paxia now. The weirdest building disappearance was a leather clothing store five years ago when the whole shop was swallowed and the ground was left empty. This will be investigated more thoroughly…”

  I change the channel so I don’t have to hear anything about it. Tomorrow, I decide, tomorrow I’ll leave the house.

　

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  The sun is actually shining and there are no clouds in the sky today. It feels a little weird to not have the thunderous clouds around, but I enjoy the nice weather while we have it.