The Laws of Paxia

16. We belong together

  Chapter Sixteen

We belong together

  I am making a tattoo on my ankle. It’s two arrows shaped as a heart. I’m just doing it for fun. I think the design is pretty neat too. It’s like two souls are heading in their own directions. They run into each other and fall in love. Just like me and Lex did. I never thought myself to be the kind who wants to have tattoos, but I just don’t care anymore. What I wanted and believed in at Earth doesn’t matter anymore.

  I’m alone by the river where Lex gave me my first tattoo. I like to go out on my own and Lex likes my independence. He is building a new better shelter with some materials we found yesterday. I have a very fine man. I was watching them for an hour while I was washing clothes with two other men.

  It’s getting darker but I don’t feel rushed. I like to sit alone with my thoughts in the end of the day. I barely think of my family on Earth anymore. It feels like I was there a lifetime ago. I barely recognize the scared girl I was back then when I had trouble to leave the house. I’m not afraid anymore. Paxia taught me not to be afraid.

  I’ll never forget the feeling when I woke up in a hospital bed. Mom was watching me with a tearstained face and I knew my life was over. I was glad that I had lived every second of it and was about to ask how long I had left when she told me I wouldn’t die. What she said was way worse. How was I supposed to live on when I couldn’t go back to any of my hobbies? How am I supposed to live a life without legs?

  That was a year ago or something like that. I stopped counting the days so I’m not sure how long I’ve been in Paxia. My life did turn out great. It is worth living now, a lot more worth than the life I had before the accident. The truth is that I always felt restless on Earth. I tried everything without getting fully satisfied and only wanted new things to explore. It was the Paxian in me who was trying to come alive and were looking for Tarih.

  I’m an adult now. I don’t need my parents to survive or depend on and definitely not my Dad!

  I put back all the equipment I used and it’s almost completely dark when I’m finished. I can barely see my own hand in front of me, but the webs show everything so clearly to me. I could have been blind but still able to live here.

  I look at the sky and lose my breath at the sight above me. The thin mist is clearing up and I can see light burning like diamonds in the black velvet.

  Stars.

  The whole sky clears up as I look at them. They fill me with a feeling I lost a long time ago, the feeling of hope. I feel at peace and shivers a little in the evening cold. Still I don’t want to leave. I never want to stop looking at them.

  I put my hands to my wet cheeks. I didn’t even notice I was crying. For what I don’t know.

-

  “There is something different about you,” Lex finally says when we are eating dinner after a long day of hunting materials. “I didn’t want to ask you earlier.”

  I know he noticed the difference in me a while ago. Who else wears thick sweaters here? Everyone’s been watching me strangely, but no one had the guts to ask me why. The evenings are freezing and I sleep with two blankets. The poor guy is burning up through the night next to me.

  “I am becoming a Paxian, Lex. That’s what is different about me from earlier,” I tell him in matter of fact. “I’ve made a breakthrough and I didn’t feel like sharing it with you yet.” I fall quiet at the thought.

  “Meryl.”

  The way his name whispers softly through his lips makes me shiver in delight. I never thought I could fall in love so bad.