The Laws of Paxia

15. I hate it because I want to stay

 Chapter Fifteen

I hate it because I want to stay

   I wake up cold sweating.

  Think, Meryl! Think. There is something that clicks, the answer I’ve been looking for. It’s there inside of my mind, teasing me for not being able to reach my inner conscience. I can feel it, but the door is locked. I’m looking for the key but it isn’t there. The door is familiar, but it’s the first time I sense it as something related to Paxia. It’s been there all my life. I didn’t need to open it until now.

  Maybe I’m trying too hard?

  I lie still in the dark. The room is too hot and Lex is holding an arm across my chest. It feels nice, but most importantly is that it feels right. He’s deep asleep and he also loves me somehow. None of us are the romantic kind and I would have hated a lovesick guy. Lex is so secure in himself. That is a reason why I find him so sexy. He’s perfect for me.

  Oh, yes. What’s the problem with Paxia again?

  I feel the webs around me and it’s easy as that. I can remember where I’ve been, just not what I was thinking about! I should make a riddle and make it so obvious that I can remember a few details. There is no harm in trying. I can just try again if I fail.

  I push myself out of my body with that in mind. The door inside my mind opens by itself. It’s locked from the inside and I understand that it holds everything that I know but is oblivious of. I guess the information usually slips out by itself once I figured them out.

  The most important fact is who I am. I am a real Paxian, born at Earth with an Earthling as a mother. She doesn’t know that Dad is from Paxia and he is also the only Paxian who lives there. My dad used to be Paxia three. I inherited that right when I was born and overtook his key. That makes a lot of sense since the disappearances started to happen mostly after I was born.

  All the information is like reading a book. It’s not entirely complete; there are still a lot of things that I need to find out. I just need to work out a way to transfer it to the part of my brain that I can access.

  I give the room a rough look. There is nothing in here that reminds me of my home at Earth. I should keep looking… No. I should ask Tarih.

  The webs are flying around me like violet velvet threads. A few of them are green and they are beautiful. The green are the ones people from Earth are able to control. They can only handle a very small part of Tarih compared to me. I need to figure out all of it before I can go back home.

  I’m not sure where home is anymore.

  Mirror, mirror, mirror.

  Tarih speaks to me so suddenly and I walk up to the big mirror hanging on the wall. I can’t see my own reflection in the glass. Why should I? I’m totally invisible. It’s a weird thing to watch into a mirror and not see myself. But then suddenly I do. My body sits up in the bed and makes its way over the floor to the mirror. It’s like I’m sleepwalking. I watch in astonishment how she breaths on the mirror so it gets foggy. Then she raises her finger and writes the letters D A D on it.

  I am pushed back into my body. My finger is still touching the mirror and for a second I’m confused why I’m here. Then I see the written word dad in front of me. The truth hits me within a second and the door opens up inside my mind. I can see it all clearly now. Tears are stinging in my eyes. All I know is that I need to breathe. I stumble out of the house and the coal filled hot air hits me and makes it even harder to breathe.