The Laws of Paxia

11. I know where I left it!

Chapter Eleven

I know where I left it

  I can walk through the tribe camp without feeling uneasy; it feels good to be one of them. Something cold is holding a grip around my heart and I can look at my tribe members objectively now without feeling disgusted. I feed these people so they can live. They are my responsibility now.

  I should feel disgusted with myself instead for what I’m doing, but I can’t, not when it feels right. I understand what Lex meant when he said he’ll never be able to return to Earth again. I want to go home, but I don’t think I would be able to look into anyone’s eyes without feeling guilt. Guilt doesn’t exist here and it feels so free. I have accepted my fate, I’ll have to stay here forever.

  Lex and Peter are out looking for things to bring back to the camp, so I have a day off hunting. I can go with Jessica if I want to, but she also wants to have a lazy day. I let her use my shampoo and shower gel earlier today so she is enjoying her shiny clean auburn hair in the house. Her skin is scrubbed clean and I’m happy that I could do this for her.

  We don’t talk very much; her mind is with her two small boys and husband at home. She is a florist so there isn’t much she can do to entertain herself in this desert. So in a way I understand her perfectly.

  The people in the camp are minding their own business. They are sitting in groups talking, fixing their homes and playing with the children. I don’t know why my eyes are seeking out May, but I find her lying down on a quilt reading a tattered book with yellow pages.

  I am annoyed that she still is after Lex though he’s obviously too busy to care about her. She tries her best to keep herself clean, but she’s just as dirty as everyone else in the camp. Her blonde hair is tangled and filled with dust, but I’m pretty sure the guards escort her to the stream every day.

  “I didn’t think of you as the type who reads,” I say, not really knowing why I’m talking with her to begin with.

  “It’s none of your business,” she hisses.

  “None of my…” I imitate her. “And I just wanted to be kind and offer you a book from the house.” I wait quietly next to her while she thinks my offer through. She looks up with spiteful eyes.

  “As if you would let me borrow it,” she spits out.

  “I don’t read books. I don’t care if you read them all. But you’re welcome to read the same book over and over again, it doesn’t bother me. You don’t have much else to do around here anyway.”

  I hit her nerve and she flies up onto her feet, clenching her fists and glaring at me furiously. “Easy for you to say! You are Lex new shiny toy and he takes you everywhere! I am stuck here with these morons while you live like a princess in the house.”

  “Is this about jealousy?” I continue to tease her. “I am the new huntress. I can’t lie around reading all day like you, so don’t you dare call me a princess of any kind. No one is forcing you to stay inside the camp, you can go out there anytime you want and explore the island. The only thing holding you trapped in here is your own fear.”

  “That’s easy for you to say, you are always escorted by Lex.”

  “Lex brings me on dangerous routes, you would never want to go there,” I tell her honestly.

  “You think you’re so special and you only brought back one body!” she yells and waves her fists at me. “Get out of my sight; I don’t speak to whores like you.”

  “And I just wanted to be nice,” I mutter back to her, well knowing I wasn’t that nice. “I have no reason to hate you, but you are making that option easier for me.” I turn around and grin mischievously when she can‘t see my face. “You can forget reading any books from my house,” I tell her loud and clear and I hear her jump back down on her quilt with a shriek.