Rough Waters |Sirius Black

Chapter Fifty Five

Nixie knew better than most that the loss of a parent raged an internal battle between sadness and anger.  The fact that Eleanor's mother had met a horrid fate by the hands of a Death Eater, reminded Nixie of her father dying at the hands of Tabitha. It filled her with anger to see someone as young as Eleanor having to suffer through something very similar. The more she thought about it, the worse it sounded in her head. Margaret wouldn't have even been able to defend herself as she didn't understand the concept of magic, she feared it above everything and it had been what killed her in the end.

There was nothing that anyone could say in those moments that would comfort Eleanor. They could apologize, but that didn't bring her mother back. The only thing they could do is be there for the girl, allow her to cry on their shoulders and allow her to lean on them during her time of grief. However, it wasn't only Eleanor who was stricken with grief, Remus looked nearly dead as he had to be the one to relay to the news of the mother's death to his daughter. He had tried his hardest to find Margaret, but in the end, he failed to retrieve her before it was too late.

Eleanor cried herself into a state of pure exhaustion and fell asleep. Fred offered to bring her upstairs to sleep, taking Eleanor from Remus's arms. The man looked completely lost with what to do with himself in that moment. Tonks had tried speaking to him, but the man wasn't very willing to listen to anything.

Nixie left Sirius' side for a moment and walked over to sit in front of her best friend. She sat on the floor, tucking her legs beneath her so that he had no choice but to face her.

"I'm sorry, Remus." Her apology sounded stupid out loud, but she felt terrible for him and Eleanor. "I know the words don't offer much comfort, but I am sorry...for you and Eleanor."

Remus looked up, meeting her eyes with a sorrowful glance.

"I feel so bad for Eleanor.." The father said. " She doesn't deserve this. None of this! She deserves to grow up and be happy-"

"Remus," She cut him off, listening to his voice crack,' this is out of everyone's control.  Of course Eleanor doesn't deserve something like this.No one deserves to lose someone that they love dearly. But it happens. However, as your friend and speaking from experience, blaming yourself  won't help you and it won't help Eleanor."

"What do I do,Nixie?" He asked her softly.

Sirius walked over and clapped his friend on the back. "You get some sleep, mate. Really, sleep.  It'll do you some good, Remus."

Remus put up some protest but with Nixie, Sirius, and Tonks arguing against him, he decided against putting up a fight and tried to get some sleep. Sirius took Nixie's hand as everyone filed out of the room to their respective rooms to get some sleep.

Nixie wasn't sure if she would be able to get much sleep that night as she was lying beside Sirius. The room was quiet for a bit before Sirius turned on his side and faced her. She looked at him from the corner of her eye before turning on her side as well to look at him. Letting out a heavy sigh, she rubbed at her eyes that burned from tiredness she felt from the day's events. Sirius didn't waste anytime once she dropped her hand from her face, to pull her into him. 

Despite the power behind Eleanor's knitting, Margaret's death reminded them that death was not completely off the table. 

Nixie's hands gripped the front of his shirt tightly, her mind wandering to Sirius' near death experience and closed her eyes trying to think of anything else in that moment. Her mind betrayed her, going back to the night of her father's death. There was an empty feeling where she thought about the things she missed most about her father.

Henry's playful nature, always teasing her or being goofy around the house.

The adventures the two had over the summers when they traveled.

The way he was willing to help anyone who needed.

How he cared for his family and always wanted to make sure they were happy.

Everything, Nixie missed everything about him, and she knew Eleanor was probably thinking the same thing about her mother. No matter how much the two had bickered with each other over magic, before Hogwarts and Remus, Margaret had been all Eleanor had known. Now she was gone.

Sirius could see Nixie fighting the urge to cry as she bit her lower lip and kept her eyes squeezed shut. Crying didn't settle well with Sirius, but to see Nixie cry was the absolute worse. He knew it was selfish but he just couldn't bear the idea or seeing her cry in front of him.

He reached his hand out, holding the side of her face, knowing he couldn't say anything to make it better. The pain was still there, hiding inside of her on good days and manifesting itself on tough days. His hand shook slightly, one of his greatest fears returning to his mind as he remembered how Nixie was after her father was killed. The way she shut everyone out and kept to herself, it was one of the scariest moments of Sirius' life because he wasn't sure if he would ever be capable of making Nixie happy again.

Not wanting to risk her falling back into that state, Sirius leaned forward quickly and kissed Nixie hard. His action caught her off guard as her eyes shot open. However, Sirius didn't pull away as he continued to kiss her. Nixie allowed him to crawl on top of her, his fingers intertwining with her own with no intention of letting go.

"It's okay, Nini." He said in between kisses. "Everything is going to be okay. I promise you that."

Nixie and Sirius slept in each others arms through the night, but it was one of the rare mornings where Nixie awoke before her husband. Unable to fall back asleep, she remained in his arms for a few minutes before carefully removing herself to allow him to continue sleeping. She dressed herself quietly before heading out of the room. She traveled down the hall of the home and entered Buckbeak's room, to find the hippogriff asleep as well. She knew the creature was going to have to be let out before he went completely stir crazy.

Closing the door over, Nixie headed down the stairs and found her mother awake sitting on the sofa. She invited her daughter to sit with her.

"How are you feeling?" Meri asked.

"I'm fine, Mum. No one's concern should be with me right now, it should be focus on Eleanor and Remus-"

"Well, I didn't give birth to Eleanor or Remus, I gave birth to you, so you will always be my priority. So I'll ask you again, and I want you to be honest, how are you feeling?"

Nixie glanced up at her mother.

"I am alright." She said, slightly louder as if she was trying to convince herself. "I just feel terrible for Ellie right now."

Meri went to respond when they heard someone coming down the stairs, they turned around on the sofa and saw Eleanor coming down slowly.

Nixie welcomed her over with a warm smile, patting the spot next to her. Eleanor made her way over and sat in between the two mermaids.

"Did you sleep any?" Nixie asked her.

"A little....I just kept waking up though." Eleanor sighed.

"It's understandable. Night terrors are the worse." Nixie said.

Eleanor didn't respond right away, but just kept looking at Nixie, as if looking for some reassurance, or anything to make the pain go away. Nixie peered over Eleanor's shoulder to her mother.

Meri gave her a nod and left the room to the kitchen.

"You know, Ellie, " Nixie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I know what it's like to lose a parent too."

"You mean your father?"

Nixie let out an odd staggered breath. "Yeah. Oddly enough, I was roughly your age when it happened too. Not the greatest thing to share in common."

She looked down at her feet as she pressed her lips together.

"How...how did it happen, Nixie?"