Rough Waters |Sirius Black

Chapter Ninety Two

It was a terrible habit to form, but Nixie couldn't bring herself to stop biting her nails as the news was making its way around of Albus Dumbledore's death. While she tried to remain strong on the exterior, internally, she was kicking herself over and over with guilt-ridden boots. The last conversation she had shared with the man before his death was nowhere near nice as she basically demanded him to apology to Sirius and even after he did, she didn't thank him. She had kept her back facing him and the more Nixie thought about it, the more she hated herself for acting like such a brat. 

Once again, another person had passed away in her life without her saying a proper goodbye. While she wasn't as close to Dumbledore as she had been with her father and her friends that she had lost during the first war, it still didn't settle well in her mind. She did share memories with the man, whether it was munching on sweets in the corridors or how the man had helped numerous times to get not only her out of trouble but her friends as well.

She recalled the evening that Sirius and James had been caught on a muggle police chase when Death Eaters showed up, they could have gotten into a heap of trouble but Dumbledore had taken care of it. He had done a lot for them in school and outside of school, and she couldn't deny the impact that the man had on Harry's life, on everyone's life. Now he was gone and it had come so sudden and in such a way that it was hard to actually believe.

Members of the Order had discussed their distrust in Severus on numerous occasions, especially Sirius and Harry. With the man being a former Death Eater, it was hard to put any trust in him, not to mention it wasn't like any of them shared pleasant memories with Severus either. But they would have never suspected him to participate in such a traitorous act. Dumbledore had given the man a second chance, giving him a job at Hogwarts and keeping him involved in the Order, and for what?

The amount of hate she was holding for Severus was amounting to the level she held for Tabitha, which was enough to share around the world equally to every individual. He had killed Dumbledore, but by doing so, he had hurt Harry and anyone who hurt Harry was going to have to answer to her. She had made it so that Harry was one of her top priorities, he had been through enough in his life and to experience such a loss, it was devastating to the boy.

He didn't talk much, even with Sirius prompting the conversation the majority of the time. They wanted him to say something, rather than just let it bottle up inside of him. But they couldn't force Harry to speak, it seemed they were just going to have to give him time and space. 

There was a lot happening in such a short amount of time, with Tonks professing her love to Remus, Bill trying to recover from his injuries inflicted by Greyback, and the funeral occurring in just a few days, it was a miracle that anyone involved in the Order was keeping their wits about them. 

Sirius remained as the strongest of the group because he knew he had to be the strongest for his family. He could read every emotion clearly on Nixie's face and knew exactly what the woman was thinking. He knew that she was feeling guilty for not sharing in that closure with Dumbledore. He was also aware of the guilt that Harry was carrying around as well as he had been there and wasn't able to do anything to save Dumbledore. 

Perhaps Azkaban had left him with a thicker skin but he didn't want to show how upset he was, he just wanted to be there for his wife and his godson. But deep down, Sirius was an emotional wreck. He had just received an apology from Dumbledore, the man had been able to clear his name to give him back his freedom, they had made their peace, only to lose him shortly after. He wasn't sure how to wrap his head around such a concept.

Not to mention, the biggest question on everyone's mind was why wasn't the man wearing any knitted material at the time of his death? Of course, he wouldn't have been able to survive the fall from the Astronomy tower, that much Sirius knew and so did everyone else. But the man wasn't wearing anything knitted to even prevent that Killing Curse that Severus had aimed at him. 

Before they had been involved in any sort of work involving the Order, Dumbledore always made sure to remind them to wear one of Eleanor's knitted garments, whether it was socks or a jumper. Yet Dumbledore didn't follow his own advice and it didn't make any sense. It was thoughts like that, that kept the man wide awake at night. 

That particular evening, he had fallen asleep but a nightmare of being dragged back to Azkaban haunted his sleep before he woke up in a cold sweat. He sat up to see Nixie sitting at the edge of the bed, still awake.

"Nini, what are you still doing up? Have you even tried to get some sleep?" He asked her as he sat up and rubbed at his eyes. "Did I steal your blanket again?"

He looked around to see that her blanket still rested on her side, leaving him partially confused until Nixie looked over her shoulder at him.

"I was sleeping for a little bit but I woke up to Harry having a nightmare. I had to get up and go wake him before he ended up working himself up into a frenzy."

"Did his scar hurt?" Sirius questioned. She shook her head. 

"No, no scar pain, at least that he informed me. Just a nightmare. But he finally fell back asleep and I came back here."

"You need your sleep too," he told her, trying to coax her to lay back down with him. He gave a light pull to the back of her nightgown. Eventually, she gave in and crawled back to her spot before plopping down and burying her face into her pillow. Sirius frowned before running his fingers through her hair, hoping to have her fall back asleep.

After a couple of minutes, she lifted her head up and turned on her side to face him.

"It's times like this that I really wish I took after my dad in more ways. Whenever I had a nightmare when I was younger he would come into my room with hot chocolate and stay with me until I fell back asleep. I would offer Harry hot chocolate, but if I tried to make it, I'd probably end up giving him some sort of poisoning and that definitely wouldn't help the situation."

Sirius chuckled. "No, but I could always make it," he offered. "If he wakes up again, I'll make some and we can do the same for him."

"You don't think he would take offense to it right? I mean, I was about eight years old when he did that...I grew out of my nightmares after that..."

"I doubt Harry would take offense to anyone trying to offer him comfort, especially right now. I think we could all use a little extra comfort right now."

The room fell silent for a few moments. 

"What's going on?" Harry asked in a confused tone as he wiped at his eyes before placing his glasses on. He followed Nixie out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen, wondering why the woman had woken him up during the middle of the night. However, as he entered the kitchen, he saw three steaming mugs set on the table and Sirius already seated. 

"Come join us, Harry," Nixie smiled guiding him forward towards a chair. " A little hot chocolate never hurt anyone."