Chapter 7
Louraine
Napatingin ako sa kuko kong kinukutkot ko at bumuga ng hangin.
We both went to a park where I first saw him cry. Ironic that I'm seeing him cry again for the second time, at the same place.
"A-Ah... an-"
"You don't have to say anything." He cut me off and I lost words. Napaisip ako kung ano ba dapat ang gagawin ko sa ganitong mga sitwasyon. I know how to feel hurt so I should know how I would be comforted.
So I held his hand.
It's cold and shaking. He became stiff and tried to pull it away but I held it tightly. "Wag kang magulo. I'm trying to make you warm, at least, you know." I said. Hindi na siya pumalag pang muli.
"I...can't accept it." He started. "K-Katherine...I loved her so much. I loved her more than myself. Now I don't know what to do with my freaking life anymore."
Uh...hindi ko alam kung bakit pero naiinis ako. Ugh.
"We were childhood friends. We grew up together. We knew each other from head to toe. We had something between us. I don't know why she suddenly changed. Then earlier I knew that she flew to the States to get a treatment." He said. I felt bad for hating her.
Yeah, I hated her for I know that she's the reason why Yue's being like...this. I know that he's a kind person. Everyone is, may rason lang talaga kung bakit tinatago nila iyon sa karamihan.
"She was suffering stage IV lung cancer that's why she left. I didn't even had the time to take care of her. She didn't let me know. She fucking hid it to me and I fucking hate myself for having no idea at all!" He shouted while holding my hand tightly. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang galit sa mga kamay niya na mahigpit na nakakapit sa akin.
His tears began to fall again.
Why does it hurts?
It hurts to see someone cry right?
Right?
"I was a stupid person for not noticing. I am an asshole for not asking! I was a coward for not following her. I fucking hate my damn self...so much." He said almost whispering. "I could've been there for her. I could've taken care of her. I could've...if I just...fuck." He cursed and looked down.
Hindi ako nagsalita. He told me that I wasn't supposed to say anything, so I just listened. Minsan hindi nila kailangan ng mga salita mo, all they ever wanted is to be heard, to let their feelings out without being judged.
He's way far different from the Yue everyone used to know. He used to be tough, and rough and a snob. Everyone knew him as someone who don't show emotions, someone who don't cry. But looking at him now...it reminds me that he's still like anyone else.
He's a human after all.
Tumayo ako at pumunta sa harapan niya saka pumantay sa paningin niya. He didn't look at me, but he lowered his gaze. "Look at me Yue." Ani ko at inangat naman niya ang tingin niya.
"Stop hating yourself for what's done. Wala na tay-I mean...wala ka nang magagawa para mabalik siya. It may sound mean but that's the truth. All you have to do is to accept the truth and let her live in peace. Blaming yourself for what happened won't make her happy at all." I said and looked straight in his eyes. He looked at mine too.
It makes me feel weird.
"It's not easy Yue. Wag kang mag-alala. I will be here, as a friend." Ani ko at tila napataas ang kilay ko sa utak ko.
Really? A friend?
Why Louraine? May hinahangad ka pa bang iba?
"I won't leave you. Kaya wag mo isipin na nag-iisa ka lang Yue. You have your brothers and your friends." Ani ko at nagulat ako ng mapangisi siya.
"I don't have friends Louraine." He said. Natampal ko ang noo ko mentally. Ugh... "You have me." I ended up saying.
Why the hell did I sound...weird?
"C'mon, get up. Pray for her soul and talk to her, spiritually. It's not too late to do that." I said and stood up. Nakakangalay din pala sa ganoong posisiyon.
Umupo ako sa tabi niya at napalingon naman siya sa akin. "What do you mean by...pray?" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya.
"You mean...you don't know how to pray?" I asked shocked and he just nodded. "Wala bang nagturo sayo na magdasal? As in?" Ani ko at nagsimula nanaman siyang sumimangot ulit. I chuckled mentally for he is just so... cute.
"I didn't have a reason to pray." He said. Napahilamos ko ang palad ko sa mukha ko.
"You have all the reasons to pray. You pray because you're still breathing right now. You pray because you and your loved ones are safe. You pray to say thanks and ask for forgiveness Yue. You talk to Him. It's not too late to learn praying." I said trying to give him enough knowledge.
He looked at me seriously, na para bang may nasabi akong napaka-imposible. "Close your eyes Yue. Then start praying." I said.
Hindi naman na siya tumutol pa at nagsimulang magdasal. I held his hand at pinagsalikop iyon sa isa't isa. He looked at me again pero sinenyasan ko siya na ipikit lang niya ang mga mata niya.
He prayed...silently. Sobrang tahimik ng paligid. I was supposed to pray too, for her soul, to ask forgiveness because I hated her even though it's not her fault. Because she also suffered. Hindi lang si Yue. And I should understand that.
Bakit ba ang affected ko masyado?
Yue looked...peaceful right now. He looked so innocent maliban na nga lang sa nakakunot niyang noo. Para kasi siyang galit na galit sa mundo kahit nagdadasal. Well maybe he is, pero di ko maiwasang humanga sakaniya.
He has been loving only one girl for a long time. Bihira na lamang ang mga lalaking kagaya niya. He loves her truly, because I can feel it.
My heart began racing abnormally fast. It's faster than usual that it makes me feel worried. Then that weird feeling in my stomach that I've been feeling lately started again. Ugh, nababaliw na ata ako.
But as I stare at him, a smile slowly formed my lips. Agad kong pinalo ng mahina ang labi ko dahil sa naiisip ko. Don't even think about it Louraine! Bakit ba bigla-bigla kang lumalandi?
Lumalandi?
Nagtama ang tingin namin at napaiwas naman ako. He sat in silence and looked at the stars. "Someone told me that when someone dies, that person becomes a star. That star will guide you and will always watch you from above." He suddenly said.
Napangiti naman ako. I didn't know that he believed in those. Naniniwala naman ako, pero for him, di lang kapani-paniwala.
"She told me that." Aniya at nawala ang ngiti ko. I mentally slapped myself and forced a smile. "She must be a kind person." I said. Ugh. Stop feeling like this Louraine.
"Yeah she is. She's my...star now." Aniya at napalingon ako sakaniya. A tear escaped his eyes at parang ang landi ko ata kasi pinunasan ko agad iyon.
Shims, ang landi landi ko po Lord. Patawad.
He looked at me weirdly but I only smiled at him. It was the least thing I can do for now. Pakiramdam ko nga ay namumula ako sa di ko malamang dahilan. Mabuti na lamang at nasa madilim kaming parte ng park. He won't see my flushed red face.
"You can move on Yue. You can smile again. Tutulungan nalang kita. Hehehe." I awkwardly said. Ugh! Ang corny mo Louraine! "C'mon, uuwi na ako, gabi na din kasi." Ani ko at tumayo na saka pinagpag ang damit ko.
"Why do you make me want to trust you Louraine?"
Before I look at him, a pair of arms pulled me and it may sound crazy but this man is now...kissing me.
Kill me now.
~~AgentBlue143
YOU ARE READING
Taming Yue
General Fiction- "Ito oh, nagbake ako ng cupcakes! Masarap ako magbake." Louraine offered but he only ignored her. "Shut up stupid girl! I don't need your d-amn cupcakes so get your ass out of this f-ucking room!" He shouted at her but instead of going out, she t...
