Bone Apple Tea

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"Onward thou foul beast! Let us make haste to the next village so that we may feast on all their valentines chocolates!"

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"Onward thou foul beast! Let us make haste to the next village so that we may feast on all their valentines chocolates!"

It had been a month since Berwald had seen Tino last.
You may be thinking "wtf why?" And I can assure you that you will learn soon enough.
"BER! WHERE WERE YOU?? YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY TEXTS AND YOU WERE NEVER HOME AND-" Tino's words drowned in his cries of anguish as he jumped into the Swede's arms and wailed like a dying horse.
"I was busy getting-"
"I THOUGHT YOU DIED! OR WORSE; I THOUGHT YOU'D BROKEN UP WITH ME!"
Berwald stroked Tino's head calmly. He didn't like to see Tino cry, but this was his fault so he felt like he deserved to have his shirt soaked with Finnish tears.
"I WAS SO WORRIED!"
"Tino, it's okay." Berwald assured him. He knelt down so they were face to face and kissed his wife softly.
"You owe me an explanation, mister!"
He was so cute when he was angry.
"I bought a kid."
"WHAT? WHERE? HOW?"
"I was gone for the month looking for kids because you said you wanted one and-"
"WHAT THE HELL?????? YOU BOUGHT ONE???? WITHOUT CONSULTING ME??? IS THIS EVEN LEGAL???"
"Do you want to see him?"
"FOR ALL I KNOW THIS IS SOME CHILD THAT WAS KIDNAPPED OFF THE STREET."
"He has all his needles, Tino."
"He's not a dog."
Berwald sighed. "I thought you said you wanted kids :(."
"NOT LIKE THIS!!! AND-oh my gosh is that him in the car?!"
"Mhm..."
"He's just so precious! Can I pet him?"
"He's yours too."
"Ohmigosh!" Tino bolted to the car and opened the door to reveal the small four year old Berwald had purchased from EBay. Ah, good ol' eBay!
"What's your name, son?"
"Peter." The boy replied, glaring at his new mother.
"Oh! Peter! Would you like some Christmas cookies?"
"It's February."
"Yes it is!" Tino giggled. "But Christmas is all year aro-" he paused, "Ber, is this my Valentine's gift?"
"Mmhmmm."
"Awe! You're the sweetest!"
Berwald blushed.
"Now, come inside, Peter! Do you watch cartoons?"
"Yeah." Peter nodded.
"Great! I'll put some of those on!"
Tino's excitement pleased Berwald to no end. Who knew this much cuteness could exist at a time?
"There you go. Is this channel the one you like?" Tino asked after settling Peter on the floor in front of the TV set.
"Mmmmhmmm!"
"Good!" The Finn curled up on the couch, head on Berwald's sturdy lap.
"Are we gonna keep him, then?"
"I'll have to make some calls to make sure this is actually legal..."
"So we're gonna?"
"Maybe..."
Berwald smiled and adjusted his position so the two were spooning. He buried his face in the other's neck, feeling hella content.
"Where are the others?"
"All gone. Emil and Lukas moved in with Arthur and we haven't seen Matthias since New Year's Day."
"So, you're alone?"
"Naw. Matthew's landlord kicked him out for having a wild animal living with him, so he's been keeping me company."
"Matthew, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Where is he now?"
"Probably selling meth to Australians..."
"What?"
"I dunno." Tino shrugged. "He just told me that Aussies like Canadian meth."
"Is he running a meth lab in your sauna?"
"No, Ber. He gets his meth elsewhere."
"Good."
"If he destroyed my sauna, I'd kill him." Tino's eyes flickered red for only a second. It was the most drastic change in eye colour Berwald had ever seen on him.
"I love you, Tino." He whispered softly.
"I love ya too, Teddy-Ber."

I'm cured

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I'm cured.

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