Missing You (Sequel to Somewhere In Neverland)

Weightless

Alex's POV:

It had been a week. I'd slept eight hours. Combined. In the last seven nights. Every moment I wasn't on stage I was calling my wife. We were running out of things to talk about. Back home, she said things had been wonderful. Without having to focus so much on Peter, she was spending quality time with the younger kids. As a family, we usually went to a Raven's or O's game (the band all shared a box). Or we would explore inner harbor. That was what Marina and I liked to do. Without me home, she got to take Stella out shopping, Brian to soccer games, and Jimmy to a modern art gallery. They both loved modern art; Peter and I couldn't stand it. How did a burnt cigarette convey loneliness? 

I was having a hell of a time. Well, that time being hell. The boys were so in awe of everything that they were well behaved. Plus, Jack was keeping a pretty good eye on them. He knew I was overwhelmed. My anxiety was unbearable, but I had to keep pushing on for the fans that payed to come see me, and Marina. I was trying to pretend everything was fine, but she obviously knew. She could always read me like a book in huge print, with no motifs.

"Hey Dad." Peter walked into my dressing room and grabbed an energy drink. "Uhh, what are you doing?"

I paused my shaking leg. I was in deep thought, staring into the blank wall, biting my nails and shaking my legs. "Oh, nothing." I mumbled.

"Yeah, okay." He raised his brows, then hurried out.

I heard him run away, then footsteps came again, closer. There was a muttered conversation.

"What the fuck is wrong with him? I've never seen him like this." One said.

"No, it's okay. Really Peter, he always used to be like this." A man reassured.

A click of heels came from the other way. "Is he doing the thing again?" A woman asked.

"You guys, I'm sure he's fine." The man said again, before creaking the door open slowly. "Alex?" It was Rian.

"Yeah, wazzup?" I was still mumbling.

Another head popped through. It was Cass. She had really been the strong female, caring mother of the tour. That was usually Marina's job. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." I coughed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just kinda tired."

Peter burst in. "No, Dad, you're so off. You're wigged out all the time. I'm worried about you."

The other two followed. The overwhelming started again. "No, honestly, I'm fine." I stood, backing away. "I just haven't been sleeping well."

"Alex, why don't you lie down? Fuck soundcheck. You need the rest." Cass rested her hand on my arm.

"There's no use. I won't sleep." I turned away. I was really afraid of all the thoughts that attacked me in the dark.

"Are you cold? Why are you shaking so much?" Peter asked.

"Maybe I'm just a little dehydrated." I hadn't been eating much either.

"Alex, c'mon, sit down." Rian begged.

I exhaled and sat down again. I felt breathless. "Is it hot in here?" I tugged on my shirt.

His eyes widened. He just knew, in that moment, I was about to have a panic attack. He turned to Cass. "Get the blanket and tell Jack to bring water and toast."

"Got it." She scurried away.

He grabbed my hands and sat below me. "Alex, your family is fine. I know you're worried, but they're completely fine, I promise. Breathe." He was hold me still why I shook.