Missing You (Sequel to Somewhere In Neverland)

Too Much

Ooo, fitting chapter title!

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Marina's POV:

It was now January. Dead of winter. Cold and very, very sad. Today didn't feel different from any other day. Jimmy upstairs, sick with some sort of wintery flu-bug. He was upstairs asleep. I had a stock brewing to make him soup later.

Stella was out skiing with a bunch of her girlfriends. Brian was at basketball practice. His whole fiasco blew over pretty quickly. The rebelling wasn't about trying to defy us or lying to us, it was because he wanted to impress his friends. We worked out a compromise. He would be completely honest with us, in return, we would let him do whatever he wanted, within reason. Tucker was out on a deal with Danny, nothing big, just keeping him company. Alex was with Jack, having a boy's day.

Peter had been really off lately. Business had slowed down at the bar, so the band was only playing once a month. As for Jane, she felt so upset that he wouldn't sleep with her that she started dating Jake. Yes, Jake, Brian's best friend. They met in her geometry class or something. Peter felt like everything had plateaued. No Jane, his band not getting any more attention, no record companies looking for them, nothing. I understood the frustration. He was mostly alone now too with all the guys doing midterms and other busy things. He spent most of his time alone in his room, playing on his xbox. 

I could hear a few footsteps upstairs. Maybe Peter would be coming down. But then, something felt wrong. The footsteps came running at the speed of light, Jimmy enterring the kitchen. His face was stark white. He was breathless.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's- Peter-" He set a hand on the counter. "He-" And then he motioned with his arms. 

My head was spinning. It couldn't be true. I ran up the stairs. "PETER, NO!" I screamed so loudly my voice became hoarse. My eyes were a waterfall. I forced open his door.

He stood. "Mom, I'm fine, I'm fine." He begged. His eyes were red from crying.

I looked at his bloody wrist and the butterfly knife on his nightstand. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?" I was still sceaming. 

"It was once, it was nothing, I promise!" He begged.

"NOTHING?" I was bawling so hard I couldn't catch my breath. "This is going to ruin your life! I promised I would never let this happen to you! I PROMISED!"

"Why are you freaking out? It can't be as bad as pot." 

"OF COURSE IT IS! IT'S MUCH WORSE! WHY WOULD I LET YOU SMOKE IT ALL THE TIME?" 

He was silent now. He sat. He understood he fucked up.

"Why did you do it?" I wiped my eyes, but more kept coming out.

"I was lonely. It was just a stupid, dissatisfied suburban teenager thing to do. I was outta pot and needed an escape. I was just gonna try it, just once." He couldn't look me in the eyes.

"Fuck, I should have known something was wrong when I didn't hear that stupid zombie game coming from your room." My heart was sinking. "I should have paid more attention. I should have talk to you more, read the signs-"

"It's not your fault. I'm the one who fucked up with Jane. I'm the loser who's friends don't wanna hang out with him." I could tell he was breaking down.

"You're my best friend, Peter. I don't want you to ever feel lonely. I was right downstairs." I bawled into my hands now. I promised myself I would never let it get that bad, that my kids could find some other outlet. I promised Alex.