Help You Feel Better

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Simon's POV

Simon: "Josh I'm so scared. It was him I'm so sure of it. But something seemed wrong. It was him but it didn't seem like it was completely him." Something was missing but I know for a fact that was him."

Josh: "How can you be absolutely sure that was him?"

Simon: "I know ok, I just know. I am so sure that's him that I almost kissed him, I was so close but something stopped me. Something pulled me away and said this was not him like he use to be. It's him but something is different and this I know for sure. It's like, it's like he wasn't himself."

Josh: "Your worrying me Simon. I know when your in deep thought and right now I'm fucking terrified."

Simon: "Do you ever get that feeling where. When you see someone or meet someone and you can't help but feel differently. That something wasn't right? Have you ever been on a date with Freya. And just not felt right. As if something was off and you couldn't put your finger on it but she was right there in front of you?"

Josh: "Honestly Simon. I think you need to rest and think about it. Your not completely in the right head space right now and that's understandable. How about we go home, you lay down or get something to eat. And we will get you when Gabe finishes dinner?"

Simon: "I'm not hungry."

Josh: "They have been here for a while now and you have never turned down food that he cooks. Trust me you will find a way to make yourself hungry later."

I kept thinking back to that day we got hit. That the guy ran the red light and ran into us. He was so beautiful in his pure white shirt and black pants. I told him to wear something nice because I was going to treat him for dinner. But the car had other ideas. And when he hit us everything was black for me. The car had hit Brett's side and it had collided with us at such a speed that it was miraculous that Brett didn't die instantly. Or at least that's what the boys told me as soon as I woke up. They said I couldn't see Brett because he had still been in a critical condition and no one kne whether he would last or not. And it turns out he didn't. I watched as Harry and Josh bolted into the other room and they didn't come back for a while. Tobi and Ethan weren't in the room and I think JJ had something going on with his album so they weren't there but Vik stayed with me. The beautiful young man stayed with me and kept me company while Josh and Harry went to check on him. I was heart broken when they came back in with the doctor. Telling me that he had flat lined. That his heart had stopped beating and they were unable to bring him back. They tried all that they could but nothing worked. It was scary for a while afterwards. I stopped doing videos for three months, just taking the time for myself, I took it as my time to grieve and I'm glad I took the time off. When I came back they all welcomed me with open arms and I felt like I was home. I know I over did it at one stage and ended up with enough videos stacked up for three weeks so I took a month off again. Just relaxing and lounging around the house. Vik, Josh and JJ all planned ahead and managed to get two weeks off and we all just lounged around and did our own thing, we went out pretty much every night and just had fun. They tried so hard to help me stop thinking about m but Brett was always on my mind.

Josh: "Hey?"

Simon: "What's up?"

Josh: "What are you thinking about Si?"

Simon: "Brett, everything that happened during the crash, or at least what I can remember of it, the aftermath in the hospital, taking the time off. Everything that happened afterwards was caused by that fucking pathetic ass hole of a driver. Had he not hit us who knows maybe we would still be together. Maybe we would be happy and married."

Josh: "Married?"

Simon: "That night. I uh, I planned to ask him to marry me. The ring must have been lost because I don't remember where it ended up or where it went., but I planned to ask him to marry me that night at dinner and I wanted it to be so romantic and I organised the whole thing to work out perfectly. But..."

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