Every Day [Bechloe Fan Fiction]

8) The One Where There Are Hurt, Hugs and Heartache

Beca tried to focus her fuzzy eyes on the person entering the room. She immediately knew who it was. A weak smile pulled tightly across her face. She was trying to be comforting, but it wasn't working out very well.

"Sue," she croaked.

"Becs," Susan replied softly. She smiled at Beca, her eyes full of compassion. "How you doing? I bought you some tea."

She sat beside Beca on the bed, giving her the mug, and helped her to sit up so that she could drink it. Beca leaned against her friend, breathing in her familiar, comforting smell.

"Where's Bee?" Beca rasped, after taking a sip.

"Both the girls are out getting ice cream, it's just us." Susan said, wrapping her arm around her. Beca nodded, relived. But the relief barely lasted a second before her body bolted forward.

"Wait, with who?" She asked, praying it was their other neighbours. From the look on Susan's face, she could see that this was not the case.

"Fat Amy..." Susan whispered, looking away. "I'm sorry, honey."

Beca wriggled away from Susan, her breath coming out in sharp gasps. She couldn't breathe.

"What could I do? The woman had nowhere to go, Beca! She needed help! I needed help!" Susan cried, her voice rising.

Despite her frustration at Beca's reaction, she still pulled a now sobbing Beca into her arms and began stroking her head. She knew that Beca was just having a panic attack, it happened more than either of them liked to admit.

"Shh, shh... It's okay, Beca... Shh, you're all okay," she soothed, rocking them both gently.

Susan put her mouth closed to Beca's ear, still holding onto her securely, and softly began to hum. She hummed the same song she used to sing to Alice when she was a baby. Then, when Beca's uncontrollable sobs changed to desperate whimpers, she started to sing. It was quite, only loud enough for Beca to hear.

"La la lu, La la lu,
Oh, my little star sweeper,
I'll sweep the stardust for you.

La la lu, La la lu,
Little soft fluffy sleeper,
Here comes a pink cloud for you.

La la lu, La la lu,
Little wandering angel,
Fold up your wings close your eyes.

La la lu, La la lu,
And may love be your keeper.
La la lu, La la lu, La la lu...."

Silence stretched out between them, but Beca had finally stopped crying. Susan gently whipped Beca's face dry with her sleeve.

"Thank you..." Beca whispered brokenly.

"It's okay, honey." Susan whispered, hugging her close.

"Susan?" Beca whimpered, hiding her face in her friend's top.

"Yeah, Beca?" Susan replied softly.

"I'm sorry," Beca sobbed again.

"For what, honey? You haven't done anything wrong!" Susan exclaimed, turning towards Beca in surprise.

"For putting you through this again. For being so messed up." Beca explain dejectedly.

"Don't worry about it, it's fine." Susan said gently.

"No, it's not," Beca insisted.

"It really doesn't matter," Susan said, equally as insistent.

"I've messed everything up again," Beca whimpered.

"No, don't even worry about it." Susan hugged Beca and made her look up.

"But-" Beca began worriedly.

"Bec, seriously. Don't you worry about anything," Susan said, cutting her off "Get some rest, okay, honey?"

Beca nodded, snuggling into her friend. She suddenly felt exhausted and just wanted to sleep, despite the fact that she had spent God knows how long sleeping already.

"Susan?... I bought you ice cream..."

A voice from the corridor caused both girls to violently jump. Beca felt dread spread though her as she realised who it must be. She shook her head desperately as Susan got up to go. Susan simply shrugged and blew Beca a kiss before sticking her head out the door.

"Thanks," Susan said, straitening herself up before striding out of the room.

Beca chewed her nails anxiously, straining to hear what was being said. Unfortunately for her, Susan was smart enough to keep her voice low, for the most part, and Fat Amy was out of ear shot.

After a quickly muttered conversation, Fat Amy appeared shaking in the doorway. It was the first time in her whole life Beca had ever seen Amy really scared. She looked completely out of her depth.

She stood in the doorway, not moving. Beca said nothing. She had no idea what to say. She had assumed that Fat Amy would be gone by now. Why would she stay?

Fat Amy seemed to, for once, have found that she couldn't speak. Beca had red eyes from crying, her hair was sticking to her face from sweat and her body looked like it could shatter at any given moment. It appeared to make Fat Amy sick to look at her. Beca realised that Fat Amy had never seen her looking like that in her entire life; even though it had become normal for everyone else around Beca now.

Fat Amy stared at Beca for so long Beca thought she might be about to have a stroke. But then she stepped forwards and cursed.

Beca sat up in surprise, completely taken aback. Then a weak grin crept across her face and she burst out laughing. It only took a second before Fat Amy was shakily laughing too.

"I look that bad, huh?" Beca chucked eventually. "Way to raise a girl's self esteem, Amy."

"Sorry! I couldn't help it. Man, do you look rough!" Fat Amy replied, plonking herself on the edge of the bed.

"I suppose I do," Beca replied sarcastically. "What did you expect? Madonna?"

"No," Fat Amy grinned. "But I wasn't expecting quite this either." She gestured up and down Beca, who smirked and shook her head playfully.

"Hey, how come everyone else got ice cream but me?" She teased, pouting.

"You haven't exactly been a big eater this week," she shot back. "You'll have to wait until next time."

Beca looked down, playing with her fingers. Fat Amy looked at her in confusion, not understanding why the mood had suddenly changed so quickly.

"Next time?" Beca said softly. "Does that mean you're sticking around?" Fat Amy felt sick at the question and bit her lip.

"Um, well, I... I've been helping Susan with the kids, but, er, I can go... If you want..." She mumbled, tripping over her words from anxiety.

"No!" Beca said, perhaps a little too quickly. She surprised herself by her outburst, her fingers going up to her lips nervously.

She didn't know why she even said it. Right up until Amy entered the room, all was wanted was for the woman to leave. But she hadn't laughed like that in a long time. It was the kind of laugh only Fat Amy could get out of her. It was what she'd needed.

"I mean, you still owe me an ice cream. Right?" She muttered quickly, desperate to regain some control.

"Right," Fat Amy grinned.

It was the first time since her arrival that she thought that the old Beca might still be somewhere, just waiting to be found.

It was a comforting feeling to have.