Did You Search For Me?

19

Rydell's POV
Mom. No. I don't believe it. I can't believe it. It's not true.

"Rydell? Are you still there."
"Y-Yes, I'm still here. Uh, thank you for the information."
"You're welcome sir. I'm sorry for your loss."

I didn't want her condolences. I want to be alone.

Mom is dead.

All because of Brock.

I ended the FaceTime between the guys and I, then turned my phone on silent.

I ignored the text messages asking me questions.
I ignored all the calls I got.
I ignored everything.

I was sad and angry. I started crying then threw my phone against a wall. It wasn't loud though. I picked Arcane up and took her to her bunk, locking myself in the back lounge.

That's when the tears started falling like crazy. What do I do? What am I going to tell Arcane? What an I going to tell Skye.

The urge. It's stronger than I've ever experienced before. I started panicking. I want the pain. I need the pain. It's not right. Call uncle Kellin. Tell dad. Do something.

I ran to Arcane's bunk to grab a marker. I was opening everything she pad in the bunk.

"Ry?" Se said in a sleepy voice
"Y-yes?"
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing. I just need a sharpie."
I avoided eye contact. I can't make her scared. She nodded and handed me a black sharpie. I thanked her, then she fell back asleep.

Walking quickly to the lounge, I closed and locked the door. I opened the marker and stared coloring my entire arm. I didn't know what I was drawing. My eyes were blurry from the tears.

When I looked down at my arm when I could see again. There was no skin showing. My wrist up was jet black. What have I done?
Why am I a screw up?

My body was shaking, my throat hurt from holding back sobs. I started crying even more. Letting the sobs free. A little less than 2 minutes later, there was a knock at the door.

"Ry? It's Tony. Can you open up? Come on guitar buddy, please?"
"I-I c-can't." I said barely above a whisper
"If you can't I'll break this door down."

I stood up, my body still shaking. I feel so weak. I opened the door using everything I had. Before I fell to the floor, I was caught by Tony. I sobbed into his chest.

After staying like that for a while, he asked me quietly "What happened?"

"My m-mom. She died. They found her body in Texas at my grandfathers house."

We stayed like that for a while, then dad came over and went into overprotective parent mode and asked Tony what happened. Tony left, and dad took me to the back lounge. When I looked at him, his eyes were bloodshot, and tears left wet streaks down his face.

"I'm sorry." I chocked
"It's not your fault. You didn't do anything." Dad wrapped his arms around me and gave me a reassuring squeeze.
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I cried until I had nothing left. I haven't slept in over 20 hours. I was weak and tired.

Everything is happening so fast. First, I meet dad, Mom gets kidnapped, we go on tour, Mom.. you know.

Dad told Arcane and Skye. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. Skye was heartbroken. He acted like it didn't bother him much, but we could tell that he was broken inside. Jaime and Tony ante trying to cheer him up back to his original self.

Arcane, well, she did the same as me, but she doesn't like to be alone. She needs someone to be around her.
Her and hungover uncle Mike are watching her favorite Harry Potter movie, the goblet of fire, in the front room laying next to each other.

Dad and I are sitting in silence in the back lounge. There is no sound. We just want to be left alone.

"We have to do something besides sit around and cry." Dad said
"Thats all I want to do though." My voice was raspy. Probably because I haven't said a word or slept at all.
"Get some sleep. I can tell you're tired."
"I don't want to sleep though."
Dad gave me a 'boy, go to bed for Christs sake' look so I walked to my bunk and was out within seconds.

I want today to be over.
-------
I woke up the next day and felt better. I went out of my bunk towards the kitchen and made coffee.

As I took a sip, I dropped the mug, causing it to shatter and break in half.
Uncle Kellin. He doesn't know about Mom.

I got changed, brushed my teeth and hair really quickly, then sprinted out the bus to the SWS bus. Before I opened the door, tears fell down my face. Left over tears that forgot to escape yesterday.

I opened the door and saw Uncle Kellin sitting on the couch. "Hey Ry." I looked up at him and he saw my bloodshot eyes, wet tears, and faded black arm. He shot up from his seat and asked me 1,000 questions a second.
"Mom."
"What about her? Did they find her? Is she okay?"
"She's dead. Brock did it."
His face dropped and became pale. He was speechless. The only thing that came out of his mouth before he sat down on the couch, was "No."

Uncle Kellin cried, and cried some more. I went to hug him, which he accepted, then whispered "I'm going to find that bastard. And I'm going to kill him."

"I know you do, but the cops found him already. They're sending her body to San Diego so she can be buried with her brother." Uncle Kellin nodded then looked at me
"She had a brother?"
"I just discovered this the other day when dad told me."
"Interesting."
I nodded and ended up staying on the bus talking to uncle Kellin for 2 hours. Then we went inside for sound check. The guys offered to cancel the show, but we told them not to.

The show must go on.

I'm sorry for this sad chapter.

IG: turtlepiazza