The Barricade Girl (A Les Miserables FanFiction)

Chapter Forty-Four

"I'm sorry, Juliette", Maggie cries, collapsing onto my free arm, and I stand there with Maggie crying on one shoulder and Marius on the other, with my own thoughts racing through my head. But, surprisingly, I don't cry. I stay focused, I stay strong, I stay level-headed just now for Marius and Maggie.

"Marius..." I manoeuvre his shoulders, forcing him to look at me. "I know you're upset, and I'm here for you, but we need to move, okay? Can you do that for me?" He sniffles in response, nodding through his tears. "Thank you..." I say as we start to move together as I try to support the weight of both of them as we walk along. "I need you both to be strong. I'm here for you both, but I need you to be here for me too...I know I seem calm now, but honestly, I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up. Right now, we need each other more than ever..." I take a deep breath and we start to climb the stairs. "Maggie, do you know where Grandfather is?"

"He's not home", she manages to reply between sobs.

"Alright..." I say to myself, trying to figure out what to do, but nothing comes. We manage to make it up the stairs, and we walk as quietly as we can down the corridor and past Grandfather's study. The only sounds I can hear are the breathing and the sobs of Marius and Maggie. We turn the corner, and then I clap eyes on Enjolras. And even though I'd been managing to hold it together up until this point, I feel myself start to falter, and I know I can't hold it in for much longer. Courfeyrac gestures to me and takes Maggie and Marius off my hands.

"What's wrong with him?" Courfeyrac mouths to me.

"Cosette", I mouth back, hoping he'll be able to figure the rest out. And then I look back at Enjolras, who is staring at the ground. He doesn't say anything, and I stand there in the silence, not really knowing what to say to him.

"What do you mean you've come to say goodbye?" I finally ask him.

"It's time, Juliette. We knew this day was coming..." He replies quietly.

"Did we?!" I exclaim.

"It's starting, Juliette! The time is now!" He replies just as strongly as I had spoken to him. But then his face softens, and he chokes back the lump that's threatening to form in his throat. "I have to say goodbye to you..."

"But why? I don't understand. I thought I was going with you. I was going to help you. I was going to fight –" I say quickly in a state of confusion, not able to get my thoughts straight in my head.

"I can't let you do that!" Enjolras shouts the loudest that I've ever heard him shout, his voicing ringing in the hallway. "Do you not get it?!"

"Get what?!" Tears start to fall down my cheeks.

"I love you! You are the most important thing that I have! I have to protect you – that is my job!" He shouts. "One of us deserves to live! I can't let you get hurt for me!"

"This is hurting me!" I scream back at him through my tears.

"It's hurting me too! I don't want you to get physically hurt, Juliette! Not for me! Not the boys! And not for the revolution!"

"But Enj –" I start, but he carries on.

"You have so much more life to live, Juliette! You are the most incredible person I have ever met. I cannot deprive the world of you. A world without you in it is not worth having. You will do wonderful things, and you will have a wonderful future. You're going to be a wife, and a mother. You have already done enough to create a better world – a better Paris – for your children to grow up in. You've done enough! I will not deprive you of your life, and I will not deprive your future children of their Mother. You will not give that up for me...I won't let you do that..." He looks to the floor again, and I don't know how to respond. I stand there in stunned silence, tears still falling down my cheeks. He looks up at me, his face softening again slightly. "I love you more than anything else in this world!"

"Even more than the revolution?" I ask coldly. He looks me right in the eyes, a little stunned by my question, but still unshaken.

"Even more than the revolution", he answers seriously.

"Okay..." is all I can say. I don't even know what to say to him. But today seems to be the day for getting hearts broken, as the five of us all stand there is complete silence.

"The funeral is tomorrow...It starts tomorrow...Pray for us, Juliette..." Enjolras says quietly.

"You know I will..." I reply in a whisper that's hardly audible. "Will you stay here tonight?" I look at Enjolras pleadingly. "All of you..." I look at the three men, the three most important men in my life, pleading with them to stay. "I'm about to lose my best friend, my brother, and my boyfriend all at once...the least you can do is give me some time..." I state quietly, but firmly.

"Whatever you want, Juliette", Enjolras says sincerely, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. And now it's my turn to break down, and I collapse into Enjolras' arms, crying against his chest, leaving tear stains on his burgundy jacket. His grip tightens around me and he rests his head on top of my own, biting his lip to stop himself from crying himself. And he whispers over and over, "It'll be okay...we'll be okay..."