Changed me

Breathing is a Necessity

Author's Note: Hey guys! i know this update is long overdue. I am sorry college is a real life struggle. But thank you to all of you have commented. I REALLY love reading your comments and they are super encouraging! I hope you guys enjoy!

Nile's face was hard to read. I tried my hardest to keep my heart rate at bay because in this moment it was not about me. It was about the guy sitting in the driver's seat next to me who seemed to be a million miles away. His knuckles a ghostly white color as he gripped the steering wheel shoulders squared as if he were bracing himself. He drove with destination and purpose. Speeding through the street, however, I had no objections. Aria's voice on the phone was shaky to say the least. I just held the phone to my ear going through each of the messages. Message after message Aria just continued to ask Nile to come home. I couldn't stop listening to them. Listening intently I tried my hardest to see if I could pick up any kind of noise in the background. However, nothing but Aria's muffled voice was on the message. I knew better than to let Nile listen to the messages. The taste of blood alarming me, making me realizes I had been chewing my lip this entire time. Turning to Nile I saw the way he swallowed hard eyes still trained on the road in front of us. Reaching for his hand that was resting on the console I intertwined our fingers and squeezed tightly. Hoping that squeeze told him what I was feeling in that moment I squeezed his hand tightly. Sparing me a glance he unclenched his and he squeezed my hand back and it set me at ease bit.

The car came to a halt in front of his house. The lights were on and there was a car in the driveway. Ripping his hand from mine Nile was out of the car in an instance taking with him the little bit of ease that I had. Unbuckling my seatbelt I followed suit. He was just rounding the car when I closed the passenger door.

"Manny go home." The words slapped me slightly and I tried not to look hurt by them. The thing is I wanted to be there for him. As much as I don't want to see what might be behind those doors. I wanted him to know I was there for him. To be by his side so when he looked over he would know that someone was there for him. His back was still to me. My mind was reeling with everything I wanted to say to him.

"Nile I-"

"Manny I said go home." He yelled causing me to wince. He didn't even spare me a look as he continued walking along the path to the house. While my ears heard the words, my body kept pushing me forward. My defiant feet would not allow me to stop even though my mind was screaming for me to listen to him. Swallowing the lump in my throat I kept pushing through.

"No." The words came out before I even realized what was happening. Whoever was controlling my mouth right now, you go! It was as if I was watching from afar as everything played out before me. My mind went back to being in the dance studio dancing with Nile to my mother's favorite song. He smiled at me brighter than I have ever seen him smile before as he spun me around. I wanted so bad to be back in his arms. I wanted us to be happy. How in the world did the night turn out to be like this?

The funny thing about happy moments is that we don't always realize how important they are until we are going through bad ones. We never fully live them out and we don't realize that those moments are what make life worthwhile. I was yanked out of my thoughts by Niles hand grabbing mine. Massaging mine gently he tried to get my attention. For the first time since I told him about the messages I got a look at his face. He looked broken. His hazel eyes were void of their usual spark. They held pain and an emotion I couldn't quite read not that he gave me a chance. Giving my hand a light squeeze he pulled me back towards the car.

"Manny. Go home. I promise once I have this handled. I will call you." He rushed out.

"No Nile. I'm staying let me help."

"I don't need you to be there." He yelled. Flinching at his words I tried to pull my hand out of his, but he just held tighter. Placing his hand on my waist he continued "Not like that. Look baby," He sighed. "I can't have you in there. I don't know what's happening. I don't need to be worrying about him hitting you or anything happening to you for that matter. So please, please go home." His warmth and proximity was messing with my train of thought. The feeling of him holding me made me forget even if for one second I was thankful for it.