Changed me

The Same

Manny POV

The fluorescent light burned my eyes as they opened. I don't know how long I have been asleep for but it was very needed. The stiffness in my body was an indication that the position was not even slightly comfortable. The nap reminded me how much I have not been sleeping. I spent most of my nights for the past two weeks alternating between thinking about Nile, praying that he would wake up and over thinking. Over analyzing if there was something I could have done to help this situation. Could I have stopped him that night from going to that house? Should I have run and told my dad everything that was happening ? That's the interesting part of when bad things happen, we often wonder if there is anything we could have done to prevent it.

The blaring cellphone took me out of my thoughts and I have to admit I was thankful for it. I was thankful for the distraction. I tried to distract myself as much as I possibly could the past few weeks hoping that my mind would focus on anything else. However, nothing took ownership of my mind quite like Nile did. Looking at his face I squeezed his hand a little tighter. In a perfect world he would squeeze back right at this moment and I would cry for joy before screaming my head off for a nurse. But we live in a perfectly flawed world.

"I'm going to get something to eat, please decide to wake up while I'm gone." Waiting for a response I knew was not going to come I take one last look at his face. There were a couple of regulars around in the cafeteria when I got there. When you have spent a certain amount of time here you unintentionally become a regular. It was like being a part of a club that no one wanted a membership in but somehow we were all card carrying members.

" Hi Manny, how is it going today?" Melvin stood on the line probably getting his usual tuna salad while holding two cups of coffee. The bags under his eyes were prominent and the smile he gave me did not quite meet his eyes. Melvin and his wife were here visiting their daughter who was born prematurely. She was their first child and had to remain in the hospital. Melvin and his wife came back every single day since she was born.

"As go as I can be, how is Maya doing today?"

"She started breathing a bit stronger on her own and the doctors are hopeful." Sighing softly "She gets more and more beautiful everyday. She is everything we have ever wanted and I we just can't wait to take her home. How's Nile?"

The first time I came down to the cafe Melvin was down here and we spent almost an hour sharing our stories. He spoke freely while I was a bit more afraid to talk about Nile. However, the more he told me about Maya the more I told him about Nile.

"It is pretty much the same."

"I'm believing for the both of us. We will all get out of this hospital soon and when we do I want to meet that boyfriend of yours." Melvin held the tuna sandwich and coffees while looking at me with a reassuring smile. I desperately needed to believe everything that he was saying. " You two will have to hold my baby girl."

After having grabbed something to eat and letting dad and Uncle Mike know where I was, I made my way back to the familiar blue door. Tonight was a big hockey game and I knew Nile wanted to watch it. He had spent that past few months trying to get me to love hockey. He said he was determined to get me to not only understand the sport but to be a die hard fan. We were going to watch the game together tonight and I would cheer for his team. Nile hated missing a game and I was not about to let him. I know it was silly but it was one of the few things that I could do in this situation.

"Ready to watch the game?" Uncle Mike wore the jersey of Nile's favorite team and my dad was sitting on a chair I'm pretty sure he forced a nurse to bring into the room. The two told me they were on their way to the hospital I just did not expect them to get here so quickly.

" I brought you real feed, because honestly kid your diet consisting of chips and coffee is doing nothing for you."

"Thanks dad." Rolling my eyes I tried to hide the evidence of my poor diet. However, I could not lie that the food smelled incredible. As if needing the world to know of its existence, my stomach rumbled on command.

"Please eat something before someone locks me up thinking I don't feed you."

"Speaking of being locked up, any word on what is happening with my asshole of a brother?"

"I'll tell you about it later. Right now we have a game to watch."

The once silent room was now filled with the noise of two grown men as they stuffeed their faces and screamed at the television. I sat on the edge of Nile's bed and watched. Jacob came a bit later and joined what seemed to be the growing party. I think by now the nurses and attendants knew there was no point in saying anything about visiting hours. Uncle Mike almost chewed the guys head off and after that we were known as the crazy people.

" Who taught these people how to play hockey? Jake if you or Nile ever play like this so help me God I'll come out on the ice and show you how it's done." The little bit that Nile had taught me about the game allowed me to understand just how terribly Nile's favorite team was playing. I mean it did not take much to see that the goalie was basically allowing any and everybody to score. Nile would be yelling even louder than his uncle right now.

The third period of the game was quickly approaching an end the team managed to turn the game around. They were now tied with the other team and the next puck would determine the winner. Everyone was waiting with fingers crossed and the silence in the room was palpable. I was happy that for a moment it was just this simple. Although we were all sitting in a hospital room, for a moment we were focused on something else. The clock was going down and our team had the puck. Grabbing Nile's had I squeezed as I waited for number thirty to take the shot all while silently praying he made it.

"Come on Kameron, you better make this."

" He better not miss this. He has one job and he's been failing at it all damn night."

Still squeezing Nile's hand I watched as Kameron's stick connected with the puck and held my breath as I waited to see if the other team's goalie would be able to block it. In it went and the room erupted in cheers. The volume of which I knew was going to make a nurse come in here any moment now.

"That one was for you nephew!"

Soon the cheers died down and the only noise in the room was soft conversation amongst the guys. The tightening sensation in my hand reminded me that I was still squeezing Nile's hand. Relaxing a bit I waited for the tightening to ease up however it didn't. Squeezing and unsqueezing my hand I tried again to relax.

"Dad, I think Nile is squeezing my hand." the words a whisper as my heart rate began to accelerate. Please do not let this be my mind playing tricks on me. Please be real. The thoughts in my mind were just as quiet as the words I just said to my dad. " Dad, I think Nile is squeezing my hand!" This time the words were demanding to be heard. I did not even realize they slipped out of my lips so loudly.

"Are you sure?"

"I'll get a nurse!"

" Come on nephew, I knew you would pull through." Uncle Mike was next to me instantly while my dad stared at his face. Jacob returned back to the room with two nurses in tow and my hand remained in the grasp of the boy who I loved entirely. Was this nightmare finally ending?