We were packed and waiting for the rv. I had no idea how but David managed to talk Zak in so he could come with me. David was holding me up...i was that sick.
This was my outfit and body tipe by now. I pulled on a fake smile when the Rv arrived. Aaron got out and his playful smile died as he saw me. My looks did truly match how i felt inside- dead. "Heeyy"- he said slowly in a low tone looking concerned and hugged me. "Hey!" -i said and pulled the fakest smile ever on my face. He looked at me with doubt and took our bags inside. David helped me get up the stairs by supporting my back. I got in and everyone's faces went like the've seen a ghost. Honestly- i was close. My eyes instantly searched for Zak but he was nowhere to be seen. Probably in his bedroom blocking out the world. I said hi to everyone including Bacon who was driving the rv. Everyone shared looks but noone asked. I guess even Aaron didn't know what happened. We walked over to the bunk beds and i chose the one i normally would never choose. The bottom one. I just didn't have the strength but food felt disgusting without him...without him everything felt wrong and dark. Tears started dripping from my face and i tried my hardest to cry quietly. I crawled in and David tucked me in blankets . Friendship goals. "Thank you."-i whispered. "Go to sleep babe. "- he said, hugged me and left. I could hear the guys laughing, talking and eating while i couldn't even sleep. I heard Zak's bedroom doors open and him exit. I knew it was him from his footsteps and the tears were now falling even more. I had to drink constantly so i would even have tears and this felt like the end. As he entered the main 'room' the talks went quiet. After a while they started again and the problem was that i could hear every word. "Dude, what did you do?"- Aaron asked. "It's none of your business." - he said. Hearing his voice hurt and i have never been so depressed in my whole life. "No i think it is. Whatever you did you have to fix it cause she looks like she's just gotten out of a grave." "We broke up, okay?" -he snapped. "You two were together?" - Jay asked shocked. It was good that Billy wasn't there. He was in a car following the Rv with some other people and the equipment. "What the hell did you do?"- Bacon asked from the front. "She did. She cheated..."- he mumbled. "But did you even listen to her? Did you even do what i asked you to? No, cause you don't even give a shit about her. Have you even seen what you've done to her?" - David shouted at him. Silence. I heard David coming. He sat on my bed. "He needs to see." -he whispered. "But i don't want to see him. Can you get me something to drink please." "Come with me. Ill hide your face just he needs to see you. "- he said and i started getting up. I stood up and black spots appeared everywhere but i managed not to faint. I rolled down my sleeves and followed David to the fridge that was in a hallway between the main room and the bunk bed room. David was covering my face with his muscular body and the room went complitly silent. "June..."-i heard Zak breathe out. Him saying my name...i didn't look at him. He wouldn't recognise me anyway and we walked back. "She can't go on a lockdown like this."- i heard them say. David shared a look with me and i went back to sleeping. I managed somehow to fall asleep.
***
I woke up and the time was - 00:00. I always woke up in wierd times bu this time i was woken. "Youre crying in your sleep. You want to talk?" -Bacon asked from his bed. "No,but thank you. "-i said and shot him a weak smile. Now i was not only bothering myself but also others so i decided to go to the main room. Noone was there. I crawled in the couch and started crying in my knees. Atleast i wasn't bothering anyone.
○●Zak's POV.●○
David has been trying to convince me for about an hour now. I kindof believed him but i now hated myself. All i saw was her body. You could clearly see that she has been not eating since her body was much skinnyer than when i last saw her. David just gave up and left to go to sleep. I tried. The thought of her struggling because of me didn't let me sleep. I still loved her strongly and wanted to hold her close. I needed something to erase myself from the world since i knew she wont forgive me. Alcohol isn't my go to but this time it was all i had. I walked in the kitchen and saw her...crying in her knees. My body froze.
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She looked like she's been beat up. Dark circles,pale and with red eyes but still the same face i loved. She didn't see me and continued quietly sobbing. I walked over and sat next to her. She fell in my lap sideways. "David, what do i do?" -she said in a shaky voice. I wasn't going to speak , i just played along. "Why do you smell like him...you have no idea how much i love him." - she said and started crying again. I began stroking her hair back. To touch her felt like heaven. "If i had only one chance to ever go back in time, i would go back and not agree to the picture...i was drunk and angry and now...i regret even touching another guy. And now... now he hates me. The way he looked at me that morning...with disgust and hate. I don't think i even have a chance with him anymore. Only if he'd know how much i love him."- she said as the tears weren't stopping. I continued playing with her hair and she soon stopped crying. I could sit here forever. Admiring her face and all her features. The only thing that bothered me was that she was thinking of another guy holding her but that was out of my pure jealousy. She grabbed my hand, kissed my knuckles and froze. A gasp escaped her mouth and i could feel her tense up. My tattoo had given it away. She stared for a while a and quickly got up. "June." -i breathed out but she was already gone back to the bunk beds. How do i even apologise to her? I ve hurt her so much that i wont even try and get trough with a 'sorry'. After i ve met her every single girl next to her looks like nothing .This is the moment where i need to get my shit together, act like a man and get my woman back in my arms.
