Love To Love Her (A Ross Lynch/R5 fanfiction)

Always have always will

"I'll call you everyday," he said. "I promise."

I looked up into Ethan's eyes and believed every word he said. Surrounded by luggage in the resort lobby, our goodbye wasn't the most private, but that didnt matter to me.

My very first boyfriend, first relationship and it had to be long distance.

I leaned in and hugged him, and he kissed the top of my head. "Do you promise?" I whispered. He pulled away and smiled so sweetly, so serenely.

"I swear. I'm not going to let the distance ruin us."

That was when we left Mexico. Two and a half weeks ago. Turns out, he didn't keep that promise.

-

"You have got to be kidding me...." I mutter when Ethan doesn't answer his FaceTime. I know, I sound like the overly attached girlfriend, but I am so fed up. Since we're in different timezones, we set up times to talk to each other; times that work for both of us. Yesterday, Ethan said that he couldn't talk. He was too busy with lacrosse practice and homework. He said he would talk to me today at 4pm Pacific Time, no excuses. He would answer no question.

He's not answering.

"UGHHHHH!" I fall back down on my bed and shut my eyes.

I didn't think that having a long distance relationship would be this difficult. It sucks. It really sucks.

I have no idea what he's doing in New York. For all I know, he could be with another girl right now. He could be cheating on me.

Or even worse, he could have had another girlfriend this whole time and I could be the other girl. Wow, I so don't want to be the other girl.

But I have no idea if any of this is true because hE REFUSES TO TALK TO ME GOD!

Ok Courtney. Calm down. You have no reason to believe any of this. He's just busy. Yeah, that's it. He's just way too busy.... to talk to his girlfriend.

Wow ok.

Knock knock

My door opens and I open my eyes. I see Ross standing there and I smile. "Hey." He says, laying on my bed next to me.

"Hey yourself. What's up?" I ask.

"I wanted to see if you were going to come with us to Get Shaved, or if you were talking to Ethan...." he trails off when he notices my phone, locked, laying next to me.

I force a tight smile. "Nope, I'm free." I say, but Ross can tell I'm not fine right now. Ross can always tell.

He turns on his side. "Wanna talk about it?" He asks. I know fully well that the last thing Ross wants to do right now is to talk about my relationship with another guy, but I also know he wants nothing more than to have me happy.

Oh, the thought of that gives me warm, tingly feelings inside. Like there's little ponies, rainbows and leprechauns dancing around my stomach. Like a little happiness party.

What was I talking about again?

"Ugh, I don't know Ross. I thought long distance was going to work but..... I'm so frustrated!" I groan, slamming a pillow onto my face. He runs his hand lightly over my arm - not a come on, just a friendly gesture to make me feel better.

"What happened?" He questions. I turn on my side also to face him.

"I don't know.... It's just Ethan hasn't called me or been answering my calls in a few days and we were supposed to talk at four and....." I trail off once I see Ross' facial expression hasn't changed. "Oh god, I'm being the overly attached girlfriend aren't I? Oh dear... I just don't know how to do it Ross." I tell him.

He shakes his head. "You're not being unreasonable, Courtney. He is. He knew going into this that it was going to be hard and both of you were going to have to put in the work. It's not your fault that he hasn't been putting in his share." Ross tells me.

He's doing that thing again. You know, where he speaks and everything gets better. Yeah, that thing.

"If you ever want to talk about this Courtney, I'll be here. I always have and I always will." He whispers. I smile as he pushes some hair away from my face. Eventually, our smiles start to fade and we start leaning in.

But, alas, we jump apart in a matter of mere seconds when we hear my door opening again. "Hey, are you coming or not?" Rocky asks, standing in the doorway. He's not even gonna ask what we were doing before, but he gives me a knowing look. Oh whale, I'll just let his imagination do the rest.

Wait no, that's not a good idea.....

Ross walks down my stairs ahead of Rocky and I, so I take that opportunity to grab his arm. "You know, Ross and I weren't really doing anything before you walked in..." I whisper.

"Sure you weren't."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I." He stops on the stairs and looks at me. "Look, you might be fooling Ross and everyone else with the whole 'I like Ethan, he's worth the long distance' shit, but I'm not buying it. In some weird, confusing way, a way that I haven't figured out, this is your way of dealing with the fact that Ross can't be with you right now. I think Ethan is your surrogate for Ross." Rocky says, then turns to walk down the stairs again. I stand on that fifth step, comtemplating the shit out of what he just said.

There may be a slight possibility that what he said has a smiiiiiddddgggeee of truth in it.

I shake my head, clearing my brain of all confusion. No, I don't need this right now. I'm about to go to Get Shaved with my friends, forgetting about my douchebag boyfriend and just have some fun.

I climb in the creeper van, sitting next to Ross. The whole ride there, we just goof around, talking about random shit that made people laugh. I'm pretty sure that the 5 minute car ride there consisted of us mostly talking about Bob Saget. That's just how we do.

When we get there, Ross orders me the Sour Puss (a combination between watermelon, lemon, and lime shave ice with Sour Spray. It's amazing). We sit at a table and Ross lets me lament on and on about Ethan, listening intently while eating his Blue Vanilla shave ice. He occasionally agrees, but he mostly just sits there and lets me rant.

Wow, he really must care about me. He hates the fact that I'm with Ethan, and yet he's letting me drone on and on about him. 

"We ready to head out?" Riker asks, walking up to our outdoor table. I check my phone. Holy shit, it's almost seven already. I didn't even realize that it got dark outside. I was so engrossed with talking to Ross. 

All of us head back to the car, Rocky in the middle of telling some joke. As we get into the car, Rocky tells the punch line. We're all laughing so hard that it distracts from the fact that Ross is holding my hand in my lap. 

Unfortunately, Rydel, who is sitting on the other side of me, notices. Boy does she notice. 

Her eyes bulge out and she starts giggling like a school girl. Not wanting to draw any more attention to Ross' actions, I effectively glare at her. She shuts up, but can't keep the grin off her face. 

She leans in. "Good talk, I'm guessing." She whispers, very quietly so only I can hear. 

"We were talking about Ethan." I whisper back. 

"For two hours? And I'm pretty sure that-" she gestures smally to the hands in my lap. "-doesn't come from talking about a boyfriend"

Perhaps she's right. Perhaps this really was more than just me ranting about Ethan. But before I have a chance to really figure it out, we're back at the Lynch's house. 

Ross and I say goodnight to everyone, go up to his bedroom, and watch YouTube videos. Randomly, we end up on R5TV- Episode 3. 

I hear Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings and it instantly reminds me of the We The Kings song Ross sang to me only a few weeks to me, proclaiming his feelings for me. 

A lot as changed since then I guess. 

"'Everytime I get into our nice and blue pool.... I have to wet my hair.... or else my hair turns lime green"' I say in a ridiculously high voice, mocking 13 year old Ross. 

He gives me a little shove and sighs. "Things sure are different now." He says quietly.

"Yeah, you've kind of blown up.... with Austin and Ally and R5 getting insanely popular, things were bound to change, and they're still going to change." 

He looks back at me, I know that's not exactly what he was talking about, but I don't want to get into that discussion right now. 

By the time we're finished watching videos, it's 11 at night and we decide to hit the hay.

I cuddle up to Ross' side and move his arm so it's around my waist. I feel him tense up beside me. "I don't think Ethan would like this." His breath is shallow, voice is strained, and heart beat out of control. I know he's saying that because he doesn't want my boyfriend mad at me. I know that, not so secretly, he really enjoys this. 

I sigh and my eyes start to close. "Do you really think I give a shit about what Ethan thinks right now?" I whisper and start to drift out of consciousness. 

I fall asleep, but not before I feel Ross press a kiss to my temple and wrap his other arm around me. 

It's amazing how safe, how loved, this boy can make me feel. 

-------------------------------------------------------

IM BACK YAY IM BACK YAY ALL MY EXAMS ARE OVER YAY ALL MY AUDITIONS ARE OVER YAY LETS ALL BE REALLY HAPPY TOGETHER OK?

I got a part in my school play so yay for that too

Thanks for being so understanding about my predicament. You all are the best readers ever and I love you. 

I think.... I think I'm going to start something new. Something to give me more motivation to update. 

So..... 10 votes and 5 real comments from different people (comments only saying update don't count. tell me some of your favourite parts or something) for another update.

Stay beautiful my lovelies!

-Courtney

and PS: I know this chapter sucks, I had no ideas and I just wanted to get something up. 

PPS: follow my instagram (@iloverocky_) and my twitter (@awkwardrocky) PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO TWEET ME STUFF BECAUSE I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU 

ok really bye. luv yew guiessssss