Love To Love Her (A Ross Lynch/R5 fanfiction)

Uh-Oh

"Ethan?"

He turns around to look at me and smiles. "Surprise." He holds out his arms.

For a split second, I debate whether or not I should hug him. He doesn't call for days at a time, doesn't answer me at all, makes no effort to contact me at all but yet he comes here and expects everything to magically be ok?

But, deciding that I am still his girlfriend, I should be happy he's here. And I am, I really am.

His arms close around me and I close my eyes. We stay like that for a few seconds before I come untangled. I turn back to look at Ross, who has a forced smile on his face.

"Hey bro." Ethan says, with a nod. Ross nods back, but looks at me quickly after.

"Uh, I think we should let Courtney and Ethan have some time alone." Rydel suggests and drags the rest of her brothers away, who were previously sitting on my couch in a state of shock.

"Ethan, what are you doing here?" I ask once everyone's gone.

"My mom had to come on business so she offered me to join her. I said yes because you're here and you're my girlfriend." He says like its the most obvious thing in the world. Then he takes my hand.

"Listen, I know I haven't exactly been doing this whole 'long distance' thing right, but I haven't exactly done the whole relationship thing before....." He trails off, looking at his hands. This made me smile.

"You mean I'm your first girlfriend?"

"I mean I've dated before but... yeah." He smiles and I kind of melt and throw myself at him. I'm practically sitting on his lap on the couch, so I just lean down and kiss him. Just being here with him makes me forgive him for everything. We're each other's firsts. So what if he's still learning. So am I. And we'll learn together. 

-

"So you just forgave him for everything?" Ross asks, pushing the cart down the grocery isle. We're doing some grocery shopping for a "You're Going On Your First National Tour Yay We're All So Happy" barbeque before leaving for the tour. It's going to be this huge thing...... Laura, Raini, Calum, Heath, Kevin, Curt, Titus, Dominic and a heap of our good friends are joining us in my backyard.

"Yeah, well, he apologized. And it seemed sincere. So yeah." I tell him, grabbing quite a few bags of chips and putting it in the cart.

"Well what about us? What about our plans to finally start a relationship?" Ross continues. He then spots something at the other end of the isle, so he pushes off the ground with his feet, sending the cart down the isle at a dangerously high speed, with his feet on the bar above the ground. "Ooh, Red Vines - we need these."

"Ross!" I scold at his actions. "You could have ran into the shelves! What would we do then?"

"I don't know.... run?" He shrugs and I push him.

"And I mean.... I don't really know what's going to happen with you and me, ok? This is all just really confusing for me." I tell Ross, leading him away from the shelf before he blew his entire life savings on Red Vines.

"Yeah, I get it. Just next time, please try not to get my hopes up. That really sucked." He walks a few feet ahead of me and examines the back of a cereal box.

So that's what this is about. I see.

I put my hand on his arm, gingerly. "Ross, I'm so sorry. I know what I did was pretty shitty, but I honestly don't know what's best anymore." I whisper. He finally looks at me and sighs. 

"I know Court." His statement holds words that we're both to afraid to say, that we're both not ready to admit. What if, after not being able to get it together, we should just stop trying. The thing that scared me the most is that maybe, just maybe, I believe it. I don't want to believe it, but I'm one thisclosetoarelationshipbutnotactuallystartingone to admitting that it's true.