beyond the monotonous city

one

Lauren woke up gripping onto her sheets.

When she calms down she realizes this isn't something new to her. She gets up, gets dressed, brushes her teeth and takes a pill of her medication. Her doctors told her that it would help, only she wasn't so sure. As far as she was concerned, she was still in living hell.

She gets down the steps and is greeted by her mother Clara who just finished up breakfast. She didn't realize how late it was, time became an abstract concept to her since.

"Good morning honey!" her mother greeted.

She forced a smile, that's what you did to people you loved right? She was getting used to it, just so they stop hovering over you.

She sat down at the counter and her mother served her a plate of waffles with berries. The food smelled good, the taste was even better thanks to her mom's cooking. If this was hell, then she wouldn't starve after all.

Her mother sat opposite her, obviously trying to perk her up. "Is my baby ready for her first day at school?"

Lauren quickly shut her eyes. She counted to three before opening them and nodding to her mother just so she can move on from the question.

It was her first day of school. Only that it wasn't. It might as well be the first day of the end of her life. She was gonna return as a senior after being held back a year, which was something she was resentful about. All her friends were already starting out at university and she was still stuck in the confines of her high school, and this time she was alone.

There was also the fact that school started two weeks ago, which meant Lauren was going to be put into a compromising situation. She hated everything about her current situation and school was making her hate it even more.

"Lauren is everything alright?" her mom looked worried.

"Yeah, it's just I'm just thinking." She finished up her breakfast.

Her mother went up to her and held her hand softly. "Just remember, don't be too hard on yourself okay? It's going to be hard dear but I'm proud and happy you're here. Just try to have fun, it's your last year."

Her mom drives her to school, Lauren's hands gripping her seatbelt really tightly until her knuckles turned white. She was just watching her surroundings. She didn't spend much time outside her home, only the drive to and from her doctor's office and her home. She felt like a kid all over again.

Her mother pulls over the familiar white washed buildings of her school. It always felt like her second home but right now, it was looking like a prison where she will be spending the last remaining year of her miserable high school life.

Her mother glanced at her. "Call me if you need anything, I've talked with your principal, your teachers know about you. I'm sure they will be glad to help you out."

Lauren nodded waved goodbye to her mother as she got out of the car.

She tugged at the straps of her backpack, as she surveyed the exterior of the academic institution. She then looked down at her hands, pale white and cold, and tugged at the sleeves of her sweater even more before entering the building.

--

Lauren passed an empty hallway, as classes had already started.

After missing out on school for almost a year, the halls suddenly felt unfamiliar to Lauren. They held certain memories from way back in middle school, though to Lauren it felt like an entire lifetime ago.

She was a different person now, at least that's what she told herself.

She passed the band room and heard the faint sounds of the piano and drums being played. She quickened her pace, and felt her heart beating a little faster. She had too much memories in that room and she didn't need them to flood and consume her now.