beyond the monotonous city

thirty two

Lauren didn't eat lunch with them the following day.

She spent it holed up in their library, catching up and studying in advance. She wasn't avoiding Camila, but rather she wanted to give her space. She thought it was best for them.

When classes finished that day, Lauren walked the same path she did going home. She didn't expect to be stopped by Dinah. She catched up and stood in front of her as Lauren halted.

"Why weren't you at lunch?" she asked, puzzled.

Lauren stepped aside and started walking, forcing Dinah to walk along with her. "Well I wanted to give Camila the space we both need. We do need it. We've been lashing out at each other recently." Lauren hated to admit that but it was true. If she didn't get time off, they would just continue it.

Dinah frowned at her words. "Well Camila was disappointed you didn't show up earlier. She felt it was her fault somehow."

"Tell her it's not. Just like how I lash out at people involuntarily. It happens." Lauren put her fists in her jacket pocket.

"Where is this Lauren who doesn't seem to give fucks, come from all of a sudden?" Dinah asked incredulously.

"I'm channeling my emotions into my paintings. I'm trying out that thing. Been working well for me."

They reached Lauren's home and invited Dinah in as she said she wanted to stay for a while. Lauren leads her into her room and Dinah marvels as she sees the stack of paintings finished on the floor. She picked them up, silently inspecting them with awe. "Laur, these are amazing."

"Yeah somehow doing that, I get a better grip of my emotions." Lauren said, laying down on her bed.

Dinah once finished, put them back and sat at the foot of her bed. She looked like she was about to say something important, and she did. "Lauren, I have an idea, or a suggestion for you."

Lauren didn't look up, closing her eyes. "What?"

"Help Camila finish her bucket list."

Lauren opened her eyes and sat up. Dinah looked apologetic, and smiled softly. "It would mean so much to her."

Lauren remembered the time Camila slept over and asked her to finish her bucket list. She resented that because it got her hopes high but Camila never got the chance to really take her on an adventure besides from the hiking trip. She had looked forward to them, and now knowing the girl was dying, it had crushed her hopes of actually doing any more."Dinah, do you know Camila said she might not make it past graduation."

Dinah sighed, pain etched in her eyes and expression. "I do, but if that's all she got Lauren, then we make the most out of it." Lauren looked at her hands, she remembered all the times Camila instinctively held her hand and how natural it felt. "Please, for my best friend."

"Won't she do them herself?" Lauren asked, hoping to get a last pass.

"I don't think it's something she can do by herself alone." Dinah hinted.

Lauren furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"

"One entry she had in her bucket list, if I remember correctly, is go on a roadtrip with someone special." Dinah said. The moment Dinah did, she wished that she didn't hear it because her stomach dropped as much as she hated to admit. Was Lauren that special to her?

"Why doesn't she ask Ariana then?"

"Because something tells me she wants to have the roadtrip with you." Dinah said. That brought swirling thoughts in Lauren's mind. "Camila didn't let on about how much she wanted the road trip, but I know my best friend like my own sister."