beyond the monotonous city

ten

Lauren woke up from her sleep and she didn't have any dreams. But it didn't help that she felt more numb than she ever felt recently. But she knew herself well enough that a day off would help her get back on track.

She went down to the kitchen and saw her mom already made breakfast for her. Clara sat down opposite her, and held her hands. "Dear, I think it's better if you don't go to school today and just relax. Yesterday must have tired you out so much."

Lauren didn't object, she felt she needed the rest too. And besides, she didn't want to see Camila sit with her friends anyway, just causing her confusion about where their friendship actually lay.

She ate breakfast while her mom hurried off to go to work at the local pre-school. Lauren was left doing the dishes and when she's done, she puts the Lion King DVD and curls on the sofa.

She lets the movie occupy her mind instead of all the thoughts eating her alive and by the half time mark of the movie, she's fully focused on the movie. "Fuck you Simba, at least you know your dad loved you." she muttered angrily under her breath.

She got herself some popcorn in the microwave before starting on Aladdin. When she got to the living room, she heard knocks on the door. She opened it and found Camila waiting at the doorstep, wearing a hoodie over running shorts and flip flops. "Can we talk?"

Lauren let her in the house and resumed her old position in the couch, but this time with the bowl of popcorn on top of her stomach. Camila stood behind the couch and paused, looking at the screen. "Oh wow Aladdin, I love that movie."

Camila sat beside Lauren and got some popcorn as she sat, knees raised. Lauren tried to ignore Camila as the movie started but like the elephant in the room, it was getting harder to do so. "What did you want to talk about?" Lauren asked.

Camila looked surprised as she thought she'd be ignored the whole time. She sat up straighter. "I wanted to apologize for the other night. It was really rude, you came up to me and I didn't even explain myself."

Lauren waved her hand. "You know what it's fine. I'll get over it, it just takes me a while." She ate some more popcorn, not even bothering to look at the girl beside her.

"I feel like you're not satisfied." Camila remarked.

Lauren turned to her, feeling the emotion rise from her depths. She spat back, "Yeah I'll get over it, just stop being my friend okay. I think it'll be easier for both of us. You can live your life, and I can count the numbered days I have." She realized the moment it came out that it was harsher than what she intended, she saw it in Camila's face.

"Don't talk like you're always just waiting until you die." Camila said, sullenly.

"And you suddenly care now?" she retorted.

"I do care, why do you think I helped you that night in the bar?" She reasoned. "I'm sorry I didn't realize I was making you feel bad about my actions. I'll make it up to you."

Lauren closed her eyes for a second. "Just don't promise me anything." She thought Camila would ask why but she didn't. They resumed watching the movie until it was done. Lauren felt the tension between them fade as she told herself not to think too much about it. Camila was sorry, she needed to get over it.

"I'm going to my room," Lauren announced to her. She made her way upstairs and Camila followed behind. Lauren crashed on her bed and just looked at the ceiling as she noticed Camila size up her room. It was neat for someone who collected a lot of stuff, a vinyl collection on the shelf and on the floor with a gramophone on the side, a dusty keyboard near the window, plaques and awards for her academic and softball achievements in the corner shelf, one thing Lauren knew that Camila would notice is the absence of family photos in frames.