beyond the monotonous city

fourty three

Lauren didn't want to go to the funeral if she had her way.

It was a different story to accept her death and it was another to witness its actualization, its setting in stone. She was dead set on missing it until Sinu knocked at their doorstep, with some Mexican dessert, and a smile on her face, asking Lauren to come. Lauren felt her heart fall as she knew what the woman was going to ask of her.

At first she disagreed. "Sinu, I don't think I can do it."

She faintly smiled, Lauren could see the sadness etched in her droopy eyes and God, she looked like Camila then. "Camila would want you there." She asked politely.

Lauren took a deep breath. She imagined what Camila would tell her, how she wanted a party for a funeral and how she wanted all her friends to come. She bit her tongue. "Okay, I'll go."

She wore the black dress she never got to wore for Alex's funeral. The thought made her want to throw up but she sucked it up. She already missed one, she decided she wanted to be here for this one. She dressed up and saw her mom clad in black waiting for her at the foot of the stairs. They made their way across the street to the Cabello household.

The first thing Lauren noticed was how the sunny and cheery atmosphere was gone, as if it was Camila that caused it. It looked just as dull as her home, which wasn't comforting at all.

Alejandro was wearing a black suit and stood there, giving them a hug, Lauren could tell how sad he still seemed. He smiled but his sad puppy eyes that looked like exactly like Camila's, gave it all away. Sinu came last dressed in a black lace dress, complete with a tiny black hat perched on her head. At her arm was Sofi dressed in a black dress with a ribbon on her head, and the sight made Lauren's stomach drop. Camila always wore bows when she was younger and seeing Sofi in them was endearing yet heartbreaking. The youngest Cabello seemed entranced and Lauren couldn't blame her. Sinu had a brown box the size of a shoebox at her hands and it was sealed off with duct tape.

It was time to leave. Lauren and her mom got in the backseat of Alejandro's SUV. Sofi was beside them, Sinu riding with Alejandro in front. They had a silent drive and Lauren spent the time looking outside at the city they passed by. Lauren thought to herself now that Camila was gone, how monotonous everything was. As if she took all the colors with her when she left. Lauren decided it was better that way, so that people can look for something to miss when remembering Camila. Camila, her muse, the one who gave her paintings life and color. She didn't want to paint in color in a world that was gray when Camila took all the colors with her.

They arrived at the cemetery and Lauren cursed that it was such a pretty day, too pretty to be Camila's funeral. The world should be sad yet there it was, mocking her. When they got down, there were other guests already. Lauren picked Dinah, Shawn, and Ariana from the crowd. They were all dressed in black from head to toe. Lauren walked towards them, and felt their arms wrap around her. They barely said anything as if they were all waiting. Dinah's mom had come as well.

"Hey Laur," Dinah said, who hugged her first. Lauren sadly smiled at her.

Then came Shawn, who she hadn't seen since. He gave a tight hug, the kind that was reassuring enough. "I'm so glad you came Lauren."

Ariana gave her a quick hug as she quickly pulled away to wipe at something in her eyes. Lauren understood as she was the kind of girl who didn't like showing her emotions.

Lauren stayed in the back as to stay away from the casket that held Camila's body. She wanted to be as far away from it as possible. She thanked the heavens the casket was closed. Camila would want it that way. To Lauren's dismay, for Camila, it wasn't a party like she wanted. No loud music or DJ, no party. Camila was right as her parents were too traditional. A priest came and presided a short mass.