e s p o i r

29. Convivencia

Months had passed and my entire life was flipped downside up. Admittedly, the normal life was - calm. It was secure, I didn't have to worry about a criminal barging into my house anymore. It felt good to not sleep in a house all alone, my mother being there with me. She promised me that she would try her very best to become the mother she should've been. We started communicating on better lines. Her cold composure had vanished and I knew she was trying her best.

But still, our heart-wrenching past won't stop tearing us apart. She wouldn't stop tearing up out of nowhere and kept on apologizing for leaving me.

Even after I had forgiven her.

The winters were gradually coming to an end and spring was most awaited. Because a place like Kanto, which was so blessed with nature's fullest, wasn't a tourist destination in spring for no reason. Christmas had passed, so had New Year's Eve. Everything was normal now, I had my mother and great friends to celebrate festivals with.

It wasn't just good, it was also very relaxing. With my mother taking charge of the housework, I could find a lot of time here and there for projects and assignments and didn't have to go for the option of working late at night.

Not that my mother completely left her job, she just got transfered here and she, herself wasn't too occupied by work now. Maintaining house wasn't that hard for two people who had grown independently and used to of taking good care of themselves. Just like my mother, I was perfectly capable of living on my own without requiring much assistance, her presence was just like a bonus now.

I found time to indulge in creative activities like working out, taking care of my pets and I also joined debate team to fight my stage fright which had become a necessity as it was suppressing my talents, what could be a better opportunity than this?

Life was working out.

It had become easier. I found time to work on my orchard which was hopefully going to be at its fullest in spring. We had installed a swing in our front yard and I often found myself enjoying the nature's beguiling view. It was a great escape from responsibilities.

I barely ever saw Ash at school because he was too busy with his football practices. He was always in a rush and drenched in sweat. But after school, we were totally different, the strong bond of our friendship was keeping us together. He came everyday for French tutoring and was learning well. He was able to speak full sentences, not fluently but progressively. It was the same way he had taught me to read in my days of dyslexia.

Ash and I grew closer. I was gradually becoming a little star in his big solar system of social circle. He had always been the sun of mine. It was in the little things he did, like he now knew that I was allergic to hazelnuts so he avoided eating those too, he knew I liked my barbecued wings spicy with extra hot sauce so he tried them with me and ended up in tears, he knew I liked fuzzy boots and flowery laced dresses and he always complimented my outfits, he knew I was fond of painting and dancing and would often observe me while I painted or danced in drama classes, he knew I liked long silent drives, lake views and and sunsets.

He often accompanied me to grocery shopping and he knew every ingredient I put in my baked items. Heck, he even knew what darned detergent I used while doing laundry. When we hung out at some café of restaurant, he would start to order by himself, without consulting me because he always knew what I'd order. He was also growing closer to my mother. They both had chess tournaments on a daily basis, he'd lose to my mother everytime, mainly because she was a pro at it. Ash said that I had gotten my winning passion from her, judging by my winning streaks in videogames.

He was growing fond of me. Again.

I was getting attached to him. Again.

And I knew this wouldn't end well. Because he would withdraw again. It was written in our destinies. But now that its written, there's no point of protest.

I was sitting down cross-legged on the rug, petting Sylvie while Fenny and Panchy were playing, their little paws slipping on the polished Ivory colored tiles. The two were fascinated by their blurry reflection on the floor. They were three months old now and were getting more and more uncontrollably notorious by time. Last week they tore my slippers apart and their litter training was summed up to be hell. But I still loved them. They had grown to recognize to my Mother, Dawn and Ash as family members perhaps because they saw them almost everyday.

Ash was sitting in front of me, scribbling something on his notebook as sunlight passed through the windows, directly shining on his raven hair. All his bruises had recovered and faded by now except for the one on the forehead that had left a scar.

"Done." He triumphantly smiled.

"Alright, I'll check it later." I took the notebook from him and set it aside.

His French had improved significantly in the past months.

"Hey Sensei?" He spoke after moments of silence, which wasn't wholly silence but rather invaded by sounds of puppies playing around.

"Yeah?" I turned my attention towards him.

"You're a breakup expert, you must've mastered the knowledge of love." He spoke, looking back up at the ceiling.

"I'm a breakup expert, not a love expert, Ash. I have mastered the art of heartbreaks and reformation. My sole purpose is to help people get over heartbreaks, not get them on a track that eventually leads to heartbreak."

"Sounds pretty dark if you ask me. Now don't lie and help me here." Ash pouted.

"Alright, what is it?" I asked.

"But first I'll test your qualification." He beamed.

"I cannot convince myself to help you in that case." I shrugged.

"Alright Alright! Its just that - how do you know if you're in love?" Ash asked.

"What do you mean? You just know it. You don't need to find it out." I spoke nonchalantly.

"I'm being serious here." He crossed his arms.

"Okay let's see - You either love too little to exhibit and too much to ignore it. If this is the case, then no need to worry. You'll just snap out of it." Then I took a prolonged sigh, "And then there's this 'Full Dosage of Detrimental Dysfunction' kind of love. That is a serious problem. Because you basically lose your entire mind, soul, body, image, self esteem and It'll lead to a heartbreak whatsoever. One way or another, even if they accept your love, there would always be a void in your heart that they don't love you enough. Its just inevitable."

By the way, What is your concern?" I questioned.

"I don't know. I think I'm over Misty." He shrugged.

"That's what you're supposed to be, idiot. You broke up months ago!" I face palmed.

"What I meant was that, I always thought Misty was the one, like my first and only true love. But now, I've realized it was nothing like that, it was silly of me to think so - Misty was never the one. I mean, sure, she was a good friend and all. But there's someone else."

Wait, what?