e s p o i r

32. Weltschmerz

The walk to library was fifteen minutes of walking in deafening silence with words being chewed between my teeth but never having the courage to escape my lips. We preferred walking to the Wordsmith library through secluded shortcuts that I often took to reach the library previously, so I led. It wasn't that far, being the only place that wasn't far from my house's ideal location in nowhere.

While I couldn't divert my mind from flustering about our fingers intervened as we walked on the path, Ash's mind was probably roaming around Lillie. I didn't know why he took my hand, maybe he was too dissolved in his reveries to pay attention to his path, so he let me lead.

We were both indulged in diverse thoughts.

Anyways, remember when I said that Kanto was a tourist attraction on the behalf of its scenic beauty, green hilly land topography and being well drained by clean water bodies. It earned most of its revenue from tourism and tertiary service sector, which in turn was invested on its residential sector.

This included the library.

It started with a beautiful orchard, like most things in Kanto did, with vibrant flowers in full bloom and a melancholic symphony of fused fragrances. The building stood vast and wide with beige pillars erected to support the hood of veranda and brick tiles on bare walls. Cream colored statues and monuments and a exquisite water fountain only added to its beauty. To the corner was a playground displaying colorful swings and slides.

The swings always took me to the past.

When in elementary school, Ash and I sat on a swing, with our feet swaying back and forth as he shared his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with me. I smiled. I always did when he was around. I couldn't help it. And after he left, I forgot how to smile, it took me years to perfect my smile again. It was never as genuine again. That was the impact his absence left me with.

Before I could further drown in nostalgia and visualise my younger self with Ash on the originally vacant seats of swing, Ash pulled my hand and dragged me along him.

His world moved too fast.

Upon a little stroll came a familiar entrance with a veranda, four steps up the beige marbled floor. I loved sitting outside, particularly on cloudy days when the sun wouldn't shine as bright, I'd sit alone and enjoy my book on those steps solely because they were exceptionally warm.

Cool breeze hitting my skin here made me feel more alive. I admittedly enjoyed nature as a bonus whilst reading my plain books that solely relied upon ones imagination. Wind, along with its melody, added thrill to my page limited adventures.

As we walked up those steps, Ash stopped leading me and halted at a point. He pulled open, the apparently invisible glass door open. For every new visitor, it was inevitable not to bump into the unbelievably clean glass door, and the way Ash did not crash into it made it clear that he wasn't here for the first time.

Obviously he had come here before, judging by the the fact that he had seen Lillie for the first time here.

Why I hadn't noticed him visiting here was also acceptable because when I started reading, I got too dissolved in my work to care about what was going around me.

Walking in through the glass door, we entered a small lobby like reception. A burgundy woolen rug lied over the glistening wooden floor. A Versailles wrought Iron chandelier illuminated the room in champagne colour. The magnificence of light was supported by the beige walls with vintage floral patterns. To the left was an aquarium with two familiar goldfishes floating around in it as light seeped through the water. To its side was a vending machine where I bought skittles from to make my reading session more entertaining for my tongue. The was also a coffee machine suspended with its other essentials.

To my left was a polished Tiete rosewood counter with a familiar aged woman standing behind it who slightly twitched at noticing my presence. As soon as her stormy gray eyes landed on me, Her pristine hair swayed back as she hurried over to me, abandoning her place with a surprised smile cracking on her wrinkled skin.

This old woman was Lottie, short for Charlotte.

Being the librarian with a thick British, and slightly intermingled with her late husband's Scottish accent, she was a total macaroon calibered sweetheart. I loved her as much as I'd love my grandma if I had one.

"It's been a while, Sen!" She spoke as she reached up and wrapped her fragile arms around me, "Where have you been for so long?"

"Oh nothing, just a little house chores - got me busy." I smiled at her.

"Oh, you got me worried! You are a regular visitor. Suddenly disappearing for three long months?" She shook her head.

She was right, its been long.

I found myself inhaling the sandalwood scent of the library. This scent was more than familiar to me, this scent was home to me. Library, specifically this one, had been my second home for the past four years. Maybe even first, because people say that home is not a structure, its where you feel like home. With the family and all.

Knowing that my actual house felt nothing like that and this library was where I felt actually safe and books had become my family members, so it could my rightly called my first home. I came here daily, not only to read, I had also worked here. Everyone here knew me well, I'd be the one who'd receive lent books back and helped them issue knew ones. The girl who puts back the abandoned books rightly into the shelves. Not was there a single shelf in this vast labyrinthine library that I was unaware of.

"Oh, look what we have here?!" She said, diverting my attention. Her gray eyes fell on Ash who cluelessly just stood beside me, "You've finally found yourself a nice cute little boy!"

Lol, look at this lil ant sized chapter. It didn't turn out as I'd thought it to be. It was too long so I had to divide it into two halves :3

Happy Reading yo!