Buzzed Hearts

79: all she needs

STANDING THERE IN THE SQUARE, Camila wants to buy herself more time. All her life, three things have dominated her heart: music, family, and friends.

It's either one or the other—never at the same time. This is her first year without her family, Cameron's first Christmas, but she has everything she needs to get by in New York. All four of her closest friends, a wonderful position at Juilliard, and a chance of seeing snow by the end of the year.

"Everyone tells me they don't have white Christmases here," Elle says, the lights shining on her face as she peers up at the towering tree.

"Bullshit," Jeremy says. "It was snowing the last time we came here."

"When?"

"Like six years ago? Why are we even hoping? Half of us don't even celebrate it." He burns his tongue on his coffee, wincing in pain. "I'm leaving after New Year's to pack my shit up. Then, we can room together, Cam."

"Not until my semester ends," she responds. "When are you leaving, Roma?"

"Probably the 28th. It's okay! We're all on the same coast so we can probably see each other during spring break, if you're all not too busy." Roma shivers in the cold, teeth chattering. "Where's Laurent? We told him to be up half an hour ago, and he still hasn't come."

"Probably still sleeping," Camila says. His name no longer makes her mind go hazy. Maybe they'll be one of those split-custody friend groups. One day with Camila, the other with Laurent.

"It's eight at night," Jeremy says scathingly.

They were going to get dinner, and this was the meeting point that was an equal distance for all of them. Elle and Roma were here first, never missing a deadline, and Camila second. Jeremy took his time getting himself coffee, throwing them a bag of cookies when he reached them.

"Remember when you had the biggest crush on him?" Jeremy teases Camila.

"Oh fuck off her," Elle says.

Camila hasn't had a one-on-one with Elle in a few days, and she's starting to grow restless. Roma is always there, or Jeremy.

Not long after, Laurent strolls up, wind blowing his hair in every direction and looking put together in a coat. Mouth slightly ajar and breathing coming out in puffs around his lightly blushing cheeks, he grins as he arrives. The cold doesn't seem to bother him one bit. His bright seafoam and storm eyes travel across Camila's face like it's the first time, taking in everything slowly. Then, he coughs into his scarf. "Sorry I'm late."

"You're buying us drinks with your fake ID," Jeremy says, then turns to lead the way.

Elle laughs, and links arms with Roma, who tilts her head at Camila, telling her to follow.

They eat dinner at a toasty, candle-lit place, Elle ordering one bellini too many. While they share molten lava cakes, Camila gets a sorbet, feeling bloated these past days from crying and staying up nights. After paying the bill, they walk outside, faces warm and feeling buzzed.

Before Camila can fully exit the door, Laurent slips a hand around her wrist. Her eyes meet his, slow and steady, brown against clashing colors.

"Mila," he says, nose tinged pink from the cold, scarf up to his chin. "Take a walk with me?"